Develop Perseverance and Determination on the Path of Fa-rectification July 7th, 2002 (Clearwisdom.net) When I look back on my three-year
cultivation process amidst Fa-rectification, my focus has been to safeguard Dafa
and persevere in true cultivation. I have not seen any supernormal scenes and
have not had any magic dreams, but I keep my cultivation up to date only with my
righteous faith in Dafa and Teacher. When I first heard that Falun Dafa was banned on July 20th,
1999, the first thought that came to mind was to safeguard the Fa. I appealed to
the provincial government for several days in a row, and was illegally taken to
a detention center by provincial government police July 23, 1999. I had the
thought during the detention that I would continue to safeguard the Fa after my
release. At the time, I seemed to know that I had made a vow long ago to come
and help with Fa-rectification. At the end of September 2000, I went to Beijing with my
husband. I felt steady and easy on the way. We went to Tiananmen Square on our
second day there. My husband unfolded a banner and I practiced the exercises. He
was arrested and released that same night. However, the police did not notice
me, so I was able to leave the square without any trouble. I went to appeal in Beijing again at the end of 2000 and was
arrested in Tiananmen Square. I wouldn't cooperate with the evil and refused to
give my name and address. I was sent to Fangshan Detention Center later. They
got nothing from me after a two-day interrogation. There were over thirty Dafa
practitioners detained there, with more practitioners being sent in from time to
time. Some practitioners persisted in a hunger strike. After a discussion with
other practitioners, I thought I should join them. But I was not very confident
that I could do it, since in my regular daily life, I usually couldn't miss even
a single meal. I joined them with the thought of giving it a try. After a lot of
discussion with fellow practitioners, my understanding based on the Fa became
more and more clear. Later 36 practitioners went on a hunger strike together,
appealing for our unconditional release. As time elapsed, my cultivated part
became stronger and stronger and my state became better and better. On the 12th
day of our hunger strike, we refused the force-feeding together and were thus
beaten up. Five practitioners were released that night. By the 19th
day of the hunger strike, the police couldn't insert the tubes into our stomachs
any more. In order to avoid responsibility for our conditions, they released six
practitioners including myself unconditionally that night. It was near the time
of the traditional Chinese New Year. Knowing we were southerners, however, the
police sent us on a long-distance bus to Northern China. They believed we would
die either in the cold or of hunger. After experiencing a lot of hardship, I
eventually returned home with the protection of our Teacher. My body recovered
very soon thereafter. In the days that followed, I spent most of my time doing
truth-clarification work. My husband was arrested in 2001 and illegally sent to
a labor camp. My family didn't exist any more. I began to lead a homeless life.
I heard with surprise in March 2001, that my two sisters who were illegally
detained in labor camps had enlightened along an evil path due to their weak
main spirits. I felt very sorry for them, as if they had passed away. At the
same time, my attachment to sentimentality arose and I couldn't help but feel
resentment towards them. After they were released, I resolved to break their
wrong understanding of Dafa and help them rejoin the path of Fa-rectification.
They eventually woke up from the wrong enlightenment. In December, I got news
saying my husband and other practitioners who were considered quite good in
their cultivation had also enlightened along evil paths due to their temporary
weak consciousnesses. My husband is one of the local veteran practitioners. He
used to spread the Fa and safeguard the Fa everywhere. Even after he was
arrested, he still wrote letters to encourage me to walk every step well in the
Fa-rectification. But now even he had enlightened along an evil path! I suddenly
felt helpless and alone. But soon I became rational again and denied these
feelings. Through Fa-study, I realized that their enlightening along an evil
path was not Teacher's arrangement. It became clear that they had followed the
paths arranged by the evil due to their own attachments. I felt sorry for them,
but was no longer moved. On New Year's Day of 2002, the police discovered a materials
resource site, and a practitioner was arrested as a result. The practitioner
gave out my name while being tortured. Then the crazed evil searched for me
everywhere. They even kidnapped my younger sister and tortured her trying to
learn my whereabouts. They failed to get any information, so they illegally
detained her for three months without any warrant. My sister was then monitored
after her release. The police kept a watch on our parents' home. They tapped the
phone and tailed their movements. My whole family lived in terror. At the time,
I felt enormous pressure and I also had the attachment of fear. It was very
uncomfortable for me to have a restless and homeless life. I felt very tired
when my state was not good. Then I developed an attachment to time. This June,
practitioners around the global sent forth righteous thoughts. I was very
enthusiastic about that and had put all my efforts into it. I stayed at home all
day sending forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour, hoping this time we
could truly eliminate the evil so that we could save the sentient beings, free
all detained practitioners, including my husband, and help those who had
enlightened along evil paths come back their senses. I was also dreaming of the
day when I could reunite with my family. When the outcome did not turn out to be
what I expected, I was disappointed. Now I understand that if we expect
something to happen with such a human mentality, we are certain to be
disappointed when that thing does not happen. We should always look at things
from the perspective of the Fa. Looking back at my cultivation process, I realized I didn't
really understand the Fa from the Fa, nor did I treat everything with
perseverance. Just relying on enthusiasm to doing Dafa work would not do. We
should strive forward in the Fa-rectification process with strong righteous
thoughts and righteous actions. It is just as a practitioner said: "If there is only one day
left, we should still handle ourselves well for that one day. If there is ten
thousand years left, then try our best in these ten thousand years." Posting date: 7/26/2002 |