Understanding the Fa from the Fa: Appropriately Handling Tribulations within Our Families By a Chinese practitioner living abroad (Clearwisdom.net)
In 1990, my husband and I moved abroad. I was a very gentle, good wife. I
cared for my husband very much. I believe that I was very considerate of, and
very friendly towards my family, including my in-laws. My husband and I worked
very hard together. We opened our own business and it was so successful that
even Chinese businesspeople who have lived abroad for a long time admired us
greatly. Because of our success, officials in the Chinese Embassy, from the
ambassador and his wife down to the staff members, were our close friends. We
were very wealthy, and in addition, we have a lovely daughter. With all of this
worldly success, I was supposed to be happy and satisfied. However, I often felt
lonely and scared when I was alone. What would my next objective in life be? I
didn't know.
One day in 1997, an official from the Embassy came to our home for dinner. He
mentioned Falun Gong. When I first saw Teacher's picture in the blue-covered
book, Zhuan Falun, for some reason I couldn't keep from shedding tears. I
didn't know why, but I just couldn't speak a word. Before that official was
transferred back to China, he gave me a set of audiotapes of the Teacher's Fa-lecture
in Jinan City. Back then, I didn't know any fellow practitioners to share
experiences with, and I had no idea how to strive forward in cultivation.
However, I listened to Teacher's lectures every day when I was out driving. My
husband was neither for nor against my learning Falun Dafa.
When the persecution of Falun Dafa started on July 20, 1999, my husband and I
happened to be in China. I was confused by the overwhelming propaganda that was
spread all over the newspapers and TV programs. My husband believed what the
media said, and he urged me to stop practicing Falun Dafa. After carefully
listening to what the media was saying about Falun Dafa, I was shocked by the
extent of their deceit because I knew there are no such words as, "you
shouldn't take medicine when you are ill," in Zhuan Falun at all.
Teacher taught us how to be good people, and how to improve the moral standards
of society. Teacher led us to a cultivation way to return to our true self.
There is nothing unrighteous in Falun Dafa. I came to realize that the media was
lying.
After we returned to our home outside China, I didn't stop practicing Falun
Dafa. However, I didn't know how to continue my cultivation. At that time, I
didn't know about the Clearwisdom website, nor did I have access to Teacher's
new articles. Later, I learned from the local newspaper that a practitioner had
come to our area from China. I immediately contacted her. After talking to her,
I came to realize that I should step forward to validate the Fa. Soon, the first
practice site in our area was set up, and we started to make truth-clarification
flyers. We delivered the flyers to each of the Chinese restaurants in our area.
Our activities made the Chinese Embassy very uneasy. They called me and told
me to think about how my actions would affect my husband and the business he was
doing with China. I said, "My Teacher told me to follow the principles of
Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance and to be a good person. There is
nothing wrong with that. You said it is wrong to practice Falun Gong today.
However, the officials in the Embassy used to practice Falun Gong with me. Why
do you treat it so differently now, when it's obviously the same practice that
it was before? Shouldn't you truly think about who is wrong?"
We continued to go out to spread the Fa, to distribute truth-clarification
flyers, and to mail truth-clarification materials to the local Chinese people.
Because I didn't have a deep understanding of the Fa, I maintained strong
everyday person's attachments when I clarified the facts. For example, when the
Embassy called the police to drive us away from practicing the Falun Dafa
exercises opposite the Chinese Embassy, I developed the attachment of a
competitive mentality. After studying the Fa and sharing understandings with
fellow practitioners, however, we came to realize that we should understand the
Fa from the Fa and we should be compassionate towards all sentient beings --
including the officials and the staff from the Chinese Embassy. Every Saturday
afternoon when Falun Dafa practitioners around the world to send forth righteous
thoughts together, we do so opposite the Chinese Embassy to eliminate the evil
residing in other dimensions. The police never came again to drive us away.
During this period of time, my husband felt the changes I was undergoing. He
said that I turned into a person who cared only for Falun Dafa and not for him
any more. He said that I specifically fought against the Chinese Embassy and
didn't care about his interests at all. I knew very clearly that his business
requires the Embassy's help and support. Originally, an official of the Embassy
introduced me to Dafa. However, the persecution of Falun Dafa had placed me, a
person who used to be a close friend of the Chinese Embassy, on the opposite
side of those Chinese officials. And this has negatively affected my husband's
business. My family was facing a serious test and I felt trapped in the
tribulation. I didn't know what to do. At that time, I simply wanted to solve
what I perceived to be a personal problem. So I thought that what my husband did
to me was just interference. Now when I look back on it, I realize that although
my thoughts and actions back then appeared to be solely for Dafa, and although I
appeared to be able to give up anything, including my family's interests, for
Dafa, in actuality I was being very selfish inside because I was afraid that I
would be unable to catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification. I was afraid
that I would be unable to reach Consummation. The result was that my husband, an
everyday person, couldn't understand me, so he blamed Dafa for my actions. He
began to develop hatred against the Fa and against Teacher. One time when he got
very angry at me, he tore up a few Falun Dafa books.
When I saw the torn books, I was shocked. I knew the seriousness of damaging
Dafa books. Although it happened because of the evils' control in other
dimensions, I came to realize that as a Falun Dafa disciple, I must have some
omissions that were taken advantage of by the evil. They had used my omissions
as excuses for their persecution and their so-called tests. They directly used
sentient beings to undermine the Fa. Their true intention was to destroy all the
sentient beings.
When my husband went out of town on business, I calmed down to truly look
inside myself. I studied the Fa a lot every day. I also carefully read fellow
practitioners' experience sharing articles that were published on Clearwisdom
Net. Teacher has repeatedly told us that we need to study the Fa, send forth
righteous thoughts, and clarify the truth to save sentient beings. I came to
understand that whatever our family's attitude was towards the Fa, as Falun Dafa
practitioners, we should clarify the facts to them as much as we can. I used to
think that as long as I told him that Falun Dafa was good, I was done with my
responsibilities and it would be his choice whether or not he listened to me. I
didn't keep a compassionate heart towards him, nor did I try to think from his
standpoint. He is not a practitioner. So he might not agree with me that Falun
Dafa was good simply based on the fact that I told him in a few words that Falun
Dafa was good. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I wasn't strict with my words and
my actions. I didn't display to him the breadth of mind, great benevolence and
great forbearance that a true Falun Dafa practitioner should have. How could I
expect him to immediately change his mind when he had been poisoned by the lies
and slander? Teacher said,
"You are cultivators, whose conduct is [supposed to be] pure and
righteous. There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen
how you act. If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives,
everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at
a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act.
And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them
unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa. We need to think about these
things." (From "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in
Boston")
After uncovering the root of the problem, I started to develop a truly
compassionate heart towards my husband. When he came back from his trip, facing
his anger, his cursing, and his misunderstandings, I was able to stay calm. I
didn't let myself be driven by everyday people's attachments. Also, I frequently
sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil that controlled him in other
dimensions. Gradually, my husband felt the changes in me, and he witnessed a
Falun Dafa practitioners' breadth of mind, great benevolence and great
forbearance. He said to me, "You have changed. If it is the same Fa that
made you change to the current you, I should say that you didn't do well before
because you didn't understand the Fa well before. If this is the case, why
should I be against your practicing Falun Gong?"
He stopped interfering with my going out to practice the exercises and my
spreading the Fa. One time when he saw me sending forth righteous thoughts, he
even said to me, "Please send forth righteous thoughts at me to eradicate
the evils that are in my body." I shed tears when I heard that. I could see
his compassionate side and I could see how eagerly the sentient beings are
waiting to be saved. I came to understand that however well I do in my Fa-rectification
cultivation, it will have a decisive effect on whether those sentient beings
that I am responsible for could be saved.
Later on, two people who conduct business with my husband came over from
China. Very soon after talking to me, they felt that I wasn't like the Falun
Gong practitioners that the Chinese media has described. The Chinese media says
that people who practice Falun Gong are all very stupid, that they don't want
their families and they don't care for their relatives, and that they are very
selfish since they only think of reaching consummation themselves. I showed them
the pure and beautiful image of a true Falun Dafa practitioner. I also used my
personal experience to explain to them what Falun Dafa really is. Later, when
they came to our home for a break, I took the opportunity to show them the
truth-clarification VCD programs. It was also the first time for my husband to
see those programs. After they quietly watched the programs, I could tell that
they were shocked by the truth. One of them said to me, "Please keep
practicing Falun Gong. I support you."
As the Fa-rectification progress has been speeding up, each one of the Falun
Dafa practitioners has been clarifying the facts to save all sentient beings. We
might be the only hope of those people that we meet. So it is extremely
important to base our words, our thoughts, and our actions on the Fa. We should
be strict with ourselves, especially when we are with our families. This is
because our families who are everyday persons see our actions all the time and
they are judging us based on the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and
Tolerance. We should not give up on them simply because they haven't come to
understand the truth. As long as the Fa-rectification has not ended, there is a
chance for each and every being to be saved.
The above is my personal and limited understanding from my current level.
Please correct me if I have said anything inappropriate. Posting date: 12/24/2002 |