Put Down the Mentality of Being "Above Others," Treat Fellow Practitioners Benevolently (Article Submitted to 2002 Eastern U.S. Falun Dafa Conference in Philadelphia) By a practitioner in the United States
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings to Master and everyone!
In Touring North America to Teach the Fa, Master told Fa
rectification disciples to do three things. The very first one is to study Fa
well and cultivate oneself well. I often found that my own and some other fellow
practitioners' not cultivating well has given the evil forces chances to
interfere. As the result, some things that could have been done better were not
done well. Only by truly purifying ourselves and assimilating ourselves with
Dafa can we save the countless sentient beings in the cosmic body that
corresponds to us. And only by doing so can we fundamentally break the old
forces' interference and do better in assisting Master's Fa rectification. I'll
share some of my experiences and understanding below.
1. Put down the mentality of being "above others", solidly cultivate
myself
I've heard that some assistants or coordinators' having conflicts with other
practitioners has adversely affected Fa rectification activities. Regarding this
aspect, I myself have not done well, either.
During the period of personal cultivation before July 20, 1999, it was
relatively quiet. There were tests, but I could be relatively strict with
myself. But after July 20, 1999, I participated in Fa rectification activities
and later I started doing some coordination work. Then I started feeling like I
have accumulated some type of "credit", gradually and unknowingly developed some
mentality of being "above others". I was clearly aware that my Fa study was not
that good, yet I tended to think I was more correct than others. Sometimes I was
not reasoning with others using Fa's principles, but rather trying to run people
over by using my position as an assistant or
project coordinator. During a period of time, I even had such a thought, "Fa
rectification period is different from personal cultivation period. What's
important is to get the Fa rectification things done and it's OK to have bad
temper." Exactly due to such guiding thoughts, I slacked off at looking inward
and became less strict with myself.
During one period, many fellow practitioners in local area had many
complaints about me and said I had put on a superior air of being some
bureaucrat when talking or doing things. I thought what I said during local
group discussion was quite correct, but others said I was just spouting lofty
ideals and tossing around empty words. One person said so, two people said so,
and eventually I found many people all said so. At first my heart was not calm,
"Am I like that? Which words or actions of mine showed I was putting on airs?
Wasn't I doing this totally for his good and for our local group's good?" My
mind was really seething for a while. But after calming down, I looked back at
my mentality, way of doing things, and attitude when I talked and did things, I
was indeed like that and to a serious degree. The thought of "being a veteran
practitioner and being above others" was hidden very deeply. Exactly due to
this, I gradually and unknowingly developed quite the attitude and mannerisms of
a petty bureaucrat, to the extent that I couldn't even sense it even after
others have pointed it out to me. Just like my wife said, "How can you sense it?
It has already developed into your cells."
Master said, "Every one of our persons in charge needs to put special
emphasis on studying the Fa. No matter how great or how extraordinary the tasks
are that a person in charge shoulders, he cannot forget to cultivate himself. No
matter how much work you do, you should be a Dafa disciple doing the Dafa work
and not an everyday person doing the Dafa work. So you must study the Fa. A
person in charge is actually an ordinary disciple as well. Each person, no
matter what he does, should see himself as one of the disciples--you have to see
yourself as one of the disciples." (Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida,
U.S.A.) In Zhuan Falun Master said, "All practitioners are disciples, no
matter when they began the practice." "If you do not practice cultivation,
what's the use of carrying that designation? It does not matter whether you are
from the first session of classes or the second session."
The mentality of "above others" is closely related to my attachment of
seeking fame. During these 3 years' Fa rectification, fellow practitioners have
been fully utilizing their talents and professional skills to clarify the truth.
But it also exposed my attachment of seeking fame that I thought I had gotten
rid of: Who has certain special skills? Which university did so and so graduate
from? What titles did someone carry in everyday people's society? On one hand, I
felt very happy about the fact that many are talented among Dafa practitioners,
but on the other hand, it reflects my hidden attachment to seeking fame. Once an
opportunity arises, after I got something that others don't, it can easily
develop some pride and the mentality of "being above others."
When I was with those practitioners who have certain prestige, I can control
my emotion, talk gently, and even humbly consult them. But when with some other
practitioners, I tended to lose my temper and blame others. And even when what
they said was quite correct from Fa's perspective, I may listen with some
reservations. In fact, every disciple is equal in front of the Lord of Buddhas.
Each of us represents Master's boundless expectations, we've all been given the
most magnificent missions, and we're all under the Lord Buddha's boundless mercy
and compassion. There's no difference there whatsoever, no one is higher or
lower than anyone else. Digging to the bottom, I found the notion of hierarchy
and the snobbishness in everyday people's society.
Exactly because of these impure thoughts, at some critical moments, I
couldn't stand completely from Fa's perspective and discuss with fellow
practitioners equally and objectively. Sometimes I had a mentality that my words
should carry more weight and I was not modest. On the other hand, I took advice
from those practitioners I respected without enough thinking. As the result of
all these, some things that could have been done better were not done well. It
was shown especially during October events.
In fact, more and more I see that compared with a lot of fellow
practitioners, I have fallen far behind in terms of Fa study, truth
clarification, and sending forth righteous thoughts as well as being diligent
and giving. Many practitioners are simply doing a lot of work very quietly. I
can only try to catch up and have nothing to be proud of whatsoever. I indeed
must get rid of the impure mentality and notions of everyday people and solidly
cultivate myself.
2. Look within and elevate as a whole
Some while ago, I went to another state to participate in preparing some Fa
rectification activities. Before going, I heard that there were conflicts among
some practitioners. On one hand, I wanted to help with the activities'
preparation; on the other hand, I had a subtle show-off mentality and wanted to
help solve their problems. After arriving, I realized the problems there were
indeed serious and felt pained in my heart. But I didn't have a calm mind and
exchange with fellow practitioners, what I had more of in my mind was
complaints.
What a practitioner did when clarifying truth in a sensitive area was a bit
irrational. Another practitioner harshly criticized him when talking to me,
believing he has damaged Dafa's image and has caused great negative effect to
the important Fa rectification activities later on. She didn't even want to
communicate with that practitioner. I tried to mediate. I told the latter
practitioner that Master told us to be have immense tolerance and understanding
with kindness towards fellow practitioners and that we should talk
compassionately and kindly. Words like these were repeated several times during
those days. But at the last time, I realized that I was throwing them to the
other side of the telephone with anger, placing blame, and impatience. Upon
hanging up, I suddenly realized that the words I told her were like a mirror:
Was I compassionate towards to this practitioner? Did I have any understanding
with kindness? Did I talk compassionately and kindly? Master said in "Lecture at
the US East Coast Conference", "When two people have conflicts and a third
person sees it, even this third person must think about what he has done wrong
and why he is given a chance to see this scene." At this moment, I looked back
at the problems that I had observed on fellow practitioners in the past a few
days, I realized every of them existed on myself or in my local area, with only
different degrees.
Failing to look within, I couldn't be modest and kind towards fellow
practitioners. Therefore, no matter how high principles one talks about, the
effect is bound not to be good. Thus, only by fostering an environment in which
everyone tends to look within and the group improves xinxing as a whole can the
problems be solved fundamentally.
In the past, I often observed this person in charge had these problems and
that person in charge had those problems; and it seemed that I myself was a
pretty good cultivator. But later on when I started to be in charge of
something, the same problems were manifested on myself and even worse. From this
I deeply realized that when seeing other people's shortcomings, I must look
within and see that as a warning to myself and can never feel complacent since
that could very well be because my attachment hasn't had a chance to be shown.
3. Put the Fa first, Be Tolerant, Understanding, and Kind Towards Fellow
Practitioners
Reflecting on the arguments with fellow practitioners, on the surface, I was
arguing for Dafa's good, but digging deeper, I can always find my impure
thoughts. Only by fundamentally putting the Fa first, getting rid of ego can one
truly be tolerant, understanding, and kind towards fellow practitioners, and
thus truly be for Dafa's good.
What I usually can't tolerate is the chaotic scene during group activities. I
like to jump out to help organize things. The motivation is for Dafa's good, but
if any impure thoughts are mixed, the result is bound not to be good. During
APEC meeting in Mexico, practitioners held banners and sent forth righteous
thoughts. Under the baking sun, some practitioners tried to sit under the few
trees. The scene didn't look good at the time. After thinking for a while, I
felt I must step out to help organize in order to be responsible for Dafa and we
must display the demeanor of Dafa disciples. With a loud voice, I asked several
practitioners under a tree to get organized. One practitioner replied, "It's so
hot out there and we'll have to do this for the whole afternoon. We should
preserve some energy." I said, "We came here for Fa rectification. Disciples in
China walked thousands of miles to Beijing. How does this suffering compare?"
Immediately two Western practitioners said, "You must talk using your heart."
One of them said, "I don't like you. You're like a dictator." I was shocked and
awakened by this splash of cold water on my face. Immediately feeling ashamed,
and I turned around to apologize to them. Yes, Master has told us long ago about
tone, compassionate heart and rationality. I thought I my motivation was for
Dafa's good. But at this critical moment of sending forth righteous thoughts in
close proximity and demonstrating Falun Gong to all countries' delegations, my
rude attitude has caused conflicts and disturbed practitioners' minds. Who are
the happiest now? The evil. Is this being responsible to the Fa? Also, it never
occurred to me that practitioners should do these out of their own will and that
they have been sending forth righteous thoughts day and night continuously for 3
or 4 days. If I had been a bit considerate, I wouldn't have been so rude.
In another aspect, tolerance, understanding and putting Fa first can also be
tested when fellow practitioners point out one's problems, but with a poor
attitude. One time, a practitioner harshly criticized me and some other
practitioners, who were planning some important events. He pointed out our lack
of planning, not being thoughtful, lack of prioritization, and etc. I clearly
realized all he said was correct, yet I simply couldn't accept his attitude, and
thus developed some resistance and arguments. Consequently, we couldn't discuss
things with calm and peaceful minds to achieve better results. Looking back, it
was because he touched my attachment of "saving face." What I thought and said
were all out of the strong mentality of trying to protect myself from being
hurt, rather than treating with tolerance and understanding the aspects that the
fellow practitioner hadn't cultivated well just yet. I didn't put down ego and
truly put Fa first and didn't see whether what he said was truly for the good of
Dafa or not.
The evil forces use the discord among practitioners to interfere. When not
careful, we can easily fall into their traps. But when strict with ourselves, we
can break that without much difficulty. Recently, after having realized this,
there were several times when fellow practitioners had a bad attitude. If I
hadn't watched my xinxing, arguments would have occurred and the interference
would have been naturally inevitable. But these times, when I immediately tried
to think from the other party's perspective and thought more of other party's
strong points, the negative thoughts disappeared instantly, the possible
arguments were avoided, and the interference arranged by the evil were naturally
broken.
In " Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.",
Master Li said, "they look at what the end result of the other God's proposed
approach will be... if the result of a God's idea can achieve the goal, if it
can truly achieve it, then all of them will go along with it." I once thought to
myself, "What if the other party's suggestion cannot reach the result that we
want to achieve?" Now my understanding is that when arguing due to different
opinions, each often grasps the other party's incorrect points and stresses his
own correct points, and thinks the other party is blinded by his attachments and
even developed one's own speculation and imagination. But in fact everyone has
both correct and incorrect points. If we can do the opposite and try hard to see
the other party's correct points and find our own incorrect points, and look
more at his sincerity towards Dafa, then the two parties can discuss with calm
and peaceful minds, compliment each other to work out the best solution. When
getting stuck, try to think, "Who would be happy about this? The Buddhas and
Master, or the evil?" When not being able to overcome some small obstacles, try
to think about the great Fa rectification mission on our shoulders, think about
a piece of sawdust versus a furnace of molten steel, think about a speck of dust
versus the entire colossal firmament.
4. Be strict with oneself and cultivate from small matters
From the preparation of some Fa rectification activities, I learned that the
bigger an activity, the more interference and the bigger tribulations. And the
evil forces all targeted at practitioners' omissions and attachments. When one
or many practitioners have certain aspects that haven't been cultivated well,
get into conflicts, and cannot have righteous thoughts, other people can see it
very clearly, yet sometimes feel quite helpless. In the meantime, things happen
very quickly one after another, all of which have to be addressed immediately.
Before you know it, another tribulation has come before the previous one gets
addressed. It's truly that without a solid foundation of cultivation, one simply
could never chant the Buddha's name at critical moment. Yet a solid foundation
is built up little by little in daily life. One must catch every single small
chance to cultivate. If one doesn't pay attention to quizzes and can't do well,
how can he pass the big exams?
I truly feel that in the recent two or three years, I have not been as strict
with myself as I was 5 or 6 years ago when I first obtained the Fa. For example,
back then I rarely made negative comments on others and paid good attention to
the cultivation of speech. But in recent years, other than the times when I did
need to talk about other practitioners' situations, I indeed sometimes gossiped
about others, especially when there were conflicts. I didn't take it seriously.
Most of the times, it was not a calm and objective talk that was truly for
others' good, but one that was mixed a lot of complaints and grievance out of
negative thoughts. When reading section "Cultivation of Speech" in Zhuan
Falun, I often thought, "Sigh, it's bad. I failed again to do well in most
of the cases Master mentioned here." Yet next time I still lacked of strong
determination to tighten my mouth. Clearwisdom had an article "A Female
University Student's Fa Rectification Journey", which had something that really
struck me hard, "One of our obligations for every practitioner is to 'bond,'
which means eliminating crevices among particles so we can form an
indestructible particle group." What we say carries energy and even our thoughts
are material. If we often think or talk negatively, isn't that the opposite of a
bond?
I slacked off in some other aspects also. These seem to be small matters
about personal cultivation and are not spectacular like many big Fa
rectification activities. But just like Master Li said in "Teaching the Fa at
the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston", "...as long as you still have everyday
people's attachments, those are what demons can use, and when you're not paying
attention they can be used at any moment." If we don't cultivate on small
matters, as the problems grow bigger gradually, they will directly and severely
affect the big things in Fa rectification at critical moments. In order to
fundamentally break the evil forces' interference, besides determinedly sending
forth righteous thoughts, one must be strict to himself and cultivate from small
matters.
The above is only my shallow understanding. I have a lot of room for
improvement. Even the same problems will recur sometimes. If anything is
inappropriate or you see problems in my future cultivation, I'd appreciate
fellow practitioners' pointing them out.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, everyone!
Posting date: 1/3/2003 |