(Clearwisdom.net) In a flash, I was a veteran practitioner after 12 years of being a young disciple. As a student, I have not come across hard trials like many older disciples. My cultivation state has manifested through my grades, and I have found that the key factor is studying the Fa.
I began cultivation when I was in elementary school. I was not concerned about my grades since many students got good grades. After entering middle school, all the teachers pressured us every day, describing the high school entrance examination as a very serious matter. After a while, I developed huge attachments to my grades. My teacher said my grades would make it hard for me to get into a good high school. As a result, every time the grades were posted and mine were not ideal, I got depressed and even cried. I had no interest in studying the Fa, and I worried about my grades day and night. My whole family are Falun Dafa disciples. We shared about my cultivation state, and they pointed out that I was too attached to my grades. A cultivator should have no pursuits. If I was attached to my grades too much, my grades would be bad to help me get rid of the attachment. They recommended that I should study the Fa more, and let my grades follow the course of nature as long as I was trying my best.
I calmed down and asked myself how I had become so attached to my grades. My family was right, a cultivator should follow the course of nature. I tried my best in my academic studies and put emphasis on the process, not the results. Gradually, I got rid of my attachment to my grades. As a result, I entered high school with good grades. Recalling the progress of my xinxing, I enlightened that Master has arranged our cultivation path. What everyday people say has no effect, no matter what it is. I was so influenced by what my teacher said that I lost confidence in myself, and, more importantly, let it interfere with my Fa-study. I feel so ashamed now.
The pressure to get good grades was even greater in high school. I treated it with righteous thoughts, and my academic studies were never a problem. Then I was presented with a new challenge. The new environment required me to upgrade my xinxing through interaction with all kinds of new schoolmates. I spent most of my time with my desk-mate. (In China, two students share one long desk.) She was very emotional and provided me with many xinxing tests. At first, I could endure it when we had small conflicts. I thought that, as a cultivator, I should be tolerant about these small affairs. But after a long time, it seemed that she was being irrational every day, and it was causing interference with my academic studies. I thought I should not encourage her, so I began talking back to her. I did not watch what I said, and I forgot to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors behind her. The results were not good. Finally, we had to ask the teacher to switch our seats. For a long time I thought it was all her fault and treated this matter like an everyday person.
Durin the summer vacation after I had finished the college entrance exams, I enlightened through continued Fa-study that all these conflicts between my desk-mate and me were caused by my lack of righteous thoughts. When I encounter such trials, I should hold myself to a cultivator's standard first and then eliminate the evil factors behind her. I finally upgraded my understanding and can deal with similar situations better now. But the loss created by my omission was irretrievable. I understand that the main reason for this loss was that I did not study the Fa well.
I feel like I have matured as a cultivator now. Oftentimes in college, one chases fame and profit. But I can discipline myself not to care about fame and profit. I have more time to study the Fa. The environment is more complicated in college than in high school, but because I study the Fa more, I have much better results clarifying the truth. I can tell that the attachments keeping me from clarifying the truth have been largely reduced. I deeply feel that, as a student, no matter how busy our academic schedule is, we should never forget Fa-study. Only through studying the Fa well can we be genuinely "good students" in school.
My level is limited, please correct anything inappropriate.