(Clearwisdom.net) I am an older practitioner living in a rural area. I would like to share with everyone my experience passing a sickness karma test and removing attachments.
In March 1999, everyone in my family was fortunate enough to start practicing Falun Dafa. I participated in group study and exercises every day. Soon, most of my ailments were gone. Previously, I took medication for everything, but since beginning to practice Falun Dafa 11 years ago, I have not used any medications. This has saved my family a lot of money.
I had been practicing for about four months when the CCP started the persecution. It was even more brutal than the Cultural Revolution. All practitioners were rounded up and forced to say bad things about Falun Dafa and our Teacher, and to write a guarantee statement that we would not practice anymore. Every now and then, they harassed us at home in an attempt to force us to give up our practice. Many practitioners did not waver. My understanding of the Fa was limited, and I had two children that I needed to support. I owned a small store, and because I was preoccupied with making money, my cultivation took second place. I rarely studied the Fa or practiced the exercises. I did not do much to validate Dafa. I was exactly like Teacher described in Zhuan Falun, "When an average person hears it, this person will practice it on and off."
I realized that since I was already 60, if I didn't cultivate now and remained attached to human things, how could I call myself a true practitioner? I wondered if, after so many years of not practicing, Teacher would still take me. Maybe Teacher read my mind and wanted to help me out. I was given a test. Teacher is very merciful and does not want to let go of one practitioner.
On February 19, 2009, I experienced the symptoms of a stroke. My left arm and leg were numb and I could not speak. A passerby said to me, "Go to the hospital quickly. Don't waste time." However, I was clear in my mind that I am a practitioner and I do not have illnesses and that this was a test for me. My wife and children also said that if we are practitioners we do not have illnesses. "Good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought." It depends on how you treat it. Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, "In cultivation practice one needs to eliminate karma, and that is painful. How can one increase gong comfortably? How can one otherwise remove one's attachments?"
My wife and daughter and my brother invited other practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for me and to study the Fa and do the exercises. At first, I could not hold my arms up in the positions. I remembered that, even though I was not up to it, I should persist and not be lax. On the third day, my condition improved. My wife asked how I was feeling and I was very excited to tell her that I was fine. She was very emotional. She reminded me not to forget about Teacher. This was a second chance I had at life. Right away, I had tears in my eyes. Yes, Teacher had given me so much, and if I didn't do well, I would be ashamed to face Teacher.
My uncle is also a practitioner. He asked if I was confident that I could pass a test such as this. I told him, "Sure," but it was not easy when it actually happened. Because I had not been diligent for a long time, I had sickness karma with breathing difficulties. This went on for a long time. Every night at 1 a.m., I started to feel aches in my shoulders and arms and I could not open my eyes due to tearing. I had heartburn and muscle tightness in my limbs. This usually lasted two hours and then happened again one or two hours later. No one in my family could sleep. They were all sending forth righteous thoughts for me. This lasted for one month.
My younger sister is also a practitioner. She came to see me and reminded me to let go of my attachments. She asked me if I was keeping those books that I used to read and study. I did not tell her the truth. In fact, I still had some of those books that were worth a couple of thousand dollars and I didn't want to get rid of them.
My ancestors had left some ancient books with us. During the Cultural Revolution, when I was being persecuted, no one wanted to have anything to do with me. I spent a lot of time studying those books and learned a few tips on Fengshui. After learning Falun Dafa, I knew that Teacher said we should not do this any more, so I gave it up. But I hid the books in a secret place. I had not touched them since, but deep in my heart, I still thought about them. This is why the old forces took advantage of me and I had difficulty trying to pass the test.
One day I was doing the second set of exercises when I heard a voice say, "Go prepare a coffin." I was shocked and told my family. They were also shaken. Soon after, I heard, "Time to go." I responded, "It has been extended." I still did not wake up. That was why I was in tribulations all the time. Later my brother asked me, "Do you still have those books somewhere? You have to tell the truth. If you cannot let go of those books, you must want to use them someday. You have to understand that cultivation is very serious. Teacher will not accept you. You can keep those books only if you want to be an ordinary person." I suddenly realized that my brother was right. I did have the attachment to leaving the books for my offspring. However, they are all practitioners, so who would want them? I finally understood what my problem was. I had such a big attachment and I was not any different from an ordinary person.
So, with my brother's help, I found all those books and burned them all. I did not even think about how much they were worth. I realized how difficult it is to remove attachments from deep in my mind.
Once I asked my uncle, "What would be a shortcut to passing tests?" He said, "There is none. Doing the three things well and saving more people is the best way."
My wife and I had a little store where we sold, among other things, fertilizers and pesticides, which were very profitable. When people bought fertilizers and pesticides from us, they also used our sprayers, which resulted in wear and tear on the sprayers. As a result, I spent hours fixing them, even skipping dinner. I had no time to study the Fa and do the exercises. I became a slave to money. If only I had used the time spent on fixing the sprayers to do the three things, it would have been much more meaningful. Teacher has taught us that we cannot take money with us and even the millionaires in the West know that. I am already 60 years old and I am still attached to ordinary life. So we decided not to sell fertilizers and pesticides anymore. We are only keeping the store to improve our xinxing and clarify the truth. We are determined to look inward more, cultivate ourselves, and do the three things well.
I seem to have passed this test. I am grateful to Teacher, my family, and fellow practitioners, who helped me to look inward and be a true practitioner. I have not studied the Fa well enough and therefore have only limited understanding of the Fa principles. I have honestly shared with you what I have been through. I realized that to be a true practitioner, one must change one's notions fundamentally and let go of human mindsets and do the three things well. I can only save more people and live up to Teacher's expectations if I cultivate myself well.
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