(Minghui.org) It is very clear in my mind that a true Dafa practitioner must constantly look within. In reality, however, this was not always easy to do. The root cause of the difficulty is interference from our human notions. If you don't measure yourself by Dafa's standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance, these notions will easily manipulate you.
While in prison, I also tried to look inward to find my attachments. My human notions made me believe that I was doing well at it.
Master Li said,
“What’s a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for. But when a person comes to this world, it is karmic arrangements that determine his course of life and what will be gained and lost in it. How could a person’s notions determine each stage of his life? So those so-called "beautiful dreams and wishes" become pursuits that can never be realized, despite painful attachments.” (“Towards Consummation” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I realized that my human notions were very stubborn and hindering me from breaking through my mortal shell.
Several of us practitioners in prison had a firm belief in Dafa, and despite the prison's efforts, they could not reform us. They were afraid we would influence the practitioners who were forced under pressure to renounce Dafa, so we were transferred to a confined cell. Under this condition, we had a chance to share our ideas among ourselves and improve together.
In the confined cell, we were allowed to sleep for 10 hours each day. So we used this time to recite the Fa and look inside ourselves. We tried to find a way to break through our fundamental attachments: the human notions that were controlling us every moment.
I was often frustrated in my search to resolve this problem. That is, I could not find my attachments. So I established a rule for myself: every day at midnight, I must recall all that I said and did during that day. I asked myself: was what I said in line with Dafa? Did I behave with righteous thoughts? Did I look inward when facing a conflict? Did I dare to stand up to disclose the facts about the persecution when facing those fierce-looking guards?
I repeated this process of looking within day after day. Two months later, I noticed that I was suddenly able to enter a deeply tranquil state during the sitting meditation. It was like what Master described in Zhuan Falun:
“Instead, you should expect to experience a very pleasant sensation as you sit there, much like sitting inside an eggshell would be, where you’re aware that you are practicing but feel as if you can’t move a muscle. This is necessary in our practice. Another experience that you might have is as follows. As you sit in meditation it will seem as if your legs have disappeared and you don’t know where they are; and your body will have disappeared as well, including your arms and hands, and only your head will seem to remain. And as you go on, even your head will seem to disappear, leaving only your mind—with just a little awareness left that you are practicing there. It will suffice to achieve this state, as this provides the optimal conditions for your body to be transformed. And that is why you need to enter into such stillness.” (“The Eighth Talk” in Zhuan Falun)
Since then, I have felt relaxed and joyous, as if a countless measure of weight that was bearing down on my back had disappeared. And my mind was broadened. I felt very comfortable. In the past, I would think very carefully about something before taking any action. Yet the result was often not quite satisfactory. Now, when a problem appeared, the idea of how to handle the situation immediately flowed into my mind, and the result was quite good. This was very surprising.
About a year before I was released from prison, the director of the prison ward who was in charge of detained Falun Gong practitioners started a new round of persecution under the direction of the 610 Office. Two “attack” divisions (units explicitly created to intensely brainwash and persecute unyielding practitioners) were formed. One group was led by a board director of a Buddhist association, and another was led by a dean of an academic institute who held an advanced degree in physics. They collected so-called successful brainwashing experiences from all over China and tried to use these tactics to shake the unyielding practitioners' faith.
These units tried to brainwash us day and night. They were continually interrogating practitioners with various ridiculous questions. Most practitioners ignored their shouting and questions. I thought I should counter back with my righteous thoughts.
Although I did not know much about Buddhist scriptures and science, I was not afraid. Every time they slandered Dafa, I replied without any hesitation. My arguments targeted their key points, exposed their lies, and disclosed their taking things out of context.
For example, they claimed that Master Li used the term “light-year,” a unit of astronomical distance, as a unit of time. The term light-year is a common term in middle school textbooks for measure for length. Suddenly, I felt a lot of knowledge about astronomy and physics come into my mind, so I could easily respond to their claim.
I said, “'light-year,' as defined in the textbook as a unit of astronomical distance, is valid within the scope of the earth. Here the speed of light is approximately constant.” They were anxious to hear more.
I continued, “However, the term 'light-year' that Dafa's Master mentioned was used in a much broader sense. For example, black holes and neutron stars in the milky way are extremely gravitational, which can bend light, causing changes in speed and direction.”
I could tell they were in agreement with what I was saying. I added, “Then the idea that the 'speed of light is constant' is not valid anymore. In this sense, using light-year as a unit for distance is incorrect. In cosmology, a light-year is used to measure both length and time. So Master Li's use of the term 'light-year' to refer to a lapse of time in an interstellar context is correct.”
The Buddhist board director claimed that Buddha Sakyamuni said there were no big Buddhas, small Buddhas, male Buddhas or female Buddhas. I had not previously read any Buddhist scriptures, but I directly pointed out that Buddha Sakyamuni would never say such a thing.
I explained that Buddha Sakyamuni only taught the Fa publicly at the Arhat level. He later talked about high-level Fa, but it was within the scope of the Milky Way.
Sakyamuni obtained the status of Buddha, but even he did not see the ultimate truth of the universe. So he would not speak about the situation of higher-level Buddhas. The srivatsa (卍) symbolized the level of a Buddha. Based on Sakyamuni's status, he only has one 卍. How would he know about higher-level Buddhas?
Only Master Li knows the truth of the universe and the situation of high-level divinities. From the perspective of a human, it's impossible to fully understand the Buddha Fa.
I laid out my thoughts without any hesitation. Although I had not studied Buddhist scriptures, I was enlightened by my cultivation of Dafa. The Buddhist board director then became tongue-tied.
After ten months of their intensive brainwashing, we did not fall for any of their absurd deceptions. So they did not achieve their goal, which was to shake our faith.
The dean of the academic institute was once so angry about losing an argument that he raised his fists and tried to hit me. I looked at him with strong righteous thoughts, and his fists slowly dropped. The board director of the Buddhist association seemed to understand the situation. He said to me, “I swear: I will never again do any work to ‘transform' Falun Gong practitioners.”
Master said,
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference” in Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
“So, when you meet with ordeals, it is the perfect opportunity for you to improve. If you are able to look inside, that trying situation will become instead an opportunity, something to overcome and a chance to enter a new state.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference” in Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. VIII”
I now have a deeper understanding of what Master meant!