(Minghui.org) When I got expelled from university for practicing Falun Dafa, I became extremely frustrated and didn't know what to do. I even started to lose sleep. I did not have righteous thoughts strong enough to deny the old forces' persecution at the time. 

Though I was eventually able to support myself doing customer service, I still felt very sad. 

From looking inward, I realized that I had the attachment of jealousy, and, to a large extent, that was the root of my unhappiness. I was upset because other people had better lives than me – isn't that exactly what jealousy is?

To cope with my new reality, I connected with a fellow practitioner who attended the same university. He always shared experiences with me an tried to cheer me up. 

However, I felt worse after interacting with him. It pained me to think that he could study on campus while I had to work hard to make a living. I felt like he didn't understand the hardships that I had to bear, and I didn't want to speak to him after a while. 

Thinking about these emotions, I traced them all back to jealousy – an attachment that had been hidden deep within me for many years and was deeply rooted. I realized that everyone has their own fate; a person's destiny cannot be changed by pursuit. 

I also realized that looking down on other people is also a kind of jealousy. 

I once was emailing back and forth with another practitioner when it got to be around 11:40 p.m., and he said it was late and that he had to go to bed. That upset me – I thought that he shouldn't go to bed before sending righteous thoughts at midnight. 

After thinking it over, I realized that I wasn't really concerned about our collective cultivation state. I didn't really care if he was diligent or not; instead, I was jealous that he went to bed earlier than I did and could get up later than I did. 

Master said, 

“It is held among everyday people that one does not gain if one does not work for it. More work means more gained, less work means less gained. The more efforts one makes, the more returns one deserves.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

I realized that I should follow the course of nature and cultivate myself according to the requirements of the Fa teachings. I am one of the most precious lives in the universe – so what could there possibly be that I can't let go of? 

I once read an article by a practitioner who came to the understanding that the worldly life was nothing more than cloud and mist. I felt calm after I read his article. 

I also found that I had an attachment to lust. I often judged people by their appearance and liked to look at attractive people. 

I'd judge customers by their appearance when they came up to my window. I also liked to talk more with good-looking coworkers and kept away from the plain ones. Sometimes, I didn't even realize I was doing this. 

One morning, I was awakened from my nap on the bus by another passenger watching a video on her phone. She wasn't wearing headphones and it was loud. It wasn't good – it was full of things that stimulated ordinary attachments. Annoyed, I shot her a look. But she mistook it to mean that I thought she was in my personal space, so she shifted away from me. However, that meant her speaker was directly in my ear, which bothered me even more. 

I started to look inward for the root of this incident. I think it resulted from my attachment to lust. Master said, 

“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go of.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

I said to Master that the attachment to lust was not myself and that I did not want it. From then on, I could eliminate any lustful thoughts when they arose. After a while, I felt my body become lighter after I finished the standing exercises. The pain in my shoulders and neck was also all gone. 

I realized that looking inward is how we cultivate. Any attachment, no matter how subtle, can be an obstacle. We should look inward whenever we're made to feel uncomfortable by what people have said to us. We should be tolerant even if we feel like other people have misunderstood us.