(Minghui.org) Ms. Fen, in her 50s, is from another city. She joined our group Fa-study a few weeks ago at Ms. Chen’s. She and Ms. Chen are from the same hometown. Although she tried to look cheerful, she couldn’t hide her unhappiness.
After we studied one chapter of Zhuan Falun, we shared experiences and talked about looking inward.
Ms. Chen said to Ms. Fen, “This is a great opportunity for us to get together. Whatever your tribulation, feel free to bring it up. We will use the Fa principles to guide us and try to improve together as quickly as we can.”
Ms. Fen replied, “I have failed to overcome my family tribulations. I have practiced for more than 20 years, but my husband is always at odds with me and he ends up either beating me or cursing me. He doesn’t let me see other practitioners. Before I go out, I have to get his okay. One time, I pretended I was going to a hairdresser, but I went to see a practitioner. When I didn’t come home on time, he went to a few hairdressers to look for me. When I found out, I was so scared that I went to a practitioner’s home to hide and didn’t dare go home that night.”
Mr. Xie asked her, “Have you ever thought about why you are afraid of your husband? Please look inward, as nothing a practitioner encounters is accidental. When you run into something, please do not blame the other person, but, rather, check on yourself to see what loopholes are being taken advantage of by the old forces and which one has been holding you back for so long.”
Ms. Fen said, “I want to get over this tribulation, but it doesn’t matter how well I treat him, he is always at odds with me. Now I am trying to stay away from him. That’s why I came here to look for a job.”
Ms. Chen said, “We sympathize with you. That is a big tribulation.”
Mr. Xie didn’t address Ms. Fen’s situation directly but discussed her cultivation in terms of how to look inward in a conflict and improve herself on the Fa. He gave an example: “My colleague and I opened up a hot pot restaurant. We are very busy and sometimes don't close until past midnight. Especially in the beginning, I would get home very late. One of those nights, my wife locked me out of our bedroom. I was very upset, especially since I'd been busy all day. She didn’t say anything—just locked me out.
“Then I realized that if I knocked on the door, I might disturb my father in the room across from us. So I figured I might as well do the sitting meditation. Just then, my wife came out of our room, looked at me, and kicked me off the sofa. I was dumbfounded. What was going on?
“Very upset, she said, 'You've been coming home late every day. It worries me and has affected my sleep. Do you realize that?' I was clear right away: I am a practitioner, I should be considerate of others in everything I do. I always thought about how much hardship I had to endure and didn't think about her. After she gets home from work, she has to take care of her father-in-law and our two kids. She was already very tired but then had to worry about me. How could she not be upset with me?
“From then on, I always called to let her know if I was going to be home late. She became more understanding and wasn't upset with me anymore.
Mr. Hu mentioned that his son was very bright and used to do very well at school. But recently that changed. Instead of criticizing his son, he looked within to see where he fell short in doing the three things and tried to rectify himself. Within just a few days, his son's grades improved.
Ms. He said that, after she started practicing, her husband always beat her and she developed a lot of resentment. She had a hard time improving her xinxing, and she was stuck in the tribulation until Master enlightened her. In the sitting meditation, she once saw that she and her husband were kings in a heavenly world before they descended to this world to assist Master in rectifying the Fa.
As they descended, her husband took off his crown and said to her, “I’d rather give up my throne to help you accomplish your mission!” When she saw that, her eyes filled with tears. From then on, she sincerely appreciated what her husband had done for her for all these years and began to treat him even better. Unfortunately, her husband was terribly ill at that time and passed away shortly after. She was full of regret.
By this time, Ms. Fen had started to smile. She began to look inward. “I know I have omissions in my cultivation. It’s not right to try to stay away from my husband. I should face it and try to get it resolved.” She finally began to let go of her selfishness.
After Fa study recently, Ms. Chen shared some good news: Ms. Fen had gone home to celebrate the Chinese New Year.
A few days ago, Ms. Chen and Ms. Fen went back to their hometown. In tears, Ms. Fen told Ms. Chen, “After I heard what everyone said that day, I was so inspired. I was so sorry I had not listened to Master and had not treated my husband with true kindness. That night, I had a dream that he and I came down from a heavenly world. Actually, he came down to help me accomplish my mission.” After she went home, she called Ms. Chen to let her know that she was doing very well.
A Real Smile
When we were sharing, I myself thought what Mr. Ding said was very enlightening, as if Master was giving me a hint.
Mr. Ding said, “Don’t just look at how my wife goes out every day to clarify the facts. In reality, she wasn't cultivating solidly. The more selfish she was, the carefully she protected herself. But when she went back to her hometown to share with the local practitioners, they spoke to her about what they saw.
“First, they noticed she had been coughing for a year and said it was a reminder for her to let go of her ego, eliminate her attachments, and truly improve herself on the Fa. Second, she always complained to them about her shoulder and back pain. Wasn't that because she was resentful? The more resentment she felt, the more pain she had to endure. They suggested that she look inward to dig out those post-natal notions, that it was time to get rid of them all.”
I felt that what he said about his wife also applied to me, so I said, “Well said. It seems I have all these issues, too.
“I was very busy with a Dafa project the past month. Master has been strengthening and encouraging me, and it has been going well. But at the same time, I didn’t manage to do all the three things well. I slacked off doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts and didn’t examine my every thought and post-natal notions, which made me develop some negative thoughts and complained about my relatives.
“For example, we took turns taking care of my mother-in-law. My two sisters-in-law aren't well, so my husband and I always ended up spending more time taking care of her. One of my sisters-in-law was always late when it rained or snowed. After she was late so many times, I became resentful and didn’t feel like helping her anymore.
“As another example, my son has been helping me to cultivate. It seemed he was there to temper me, but he was really there to help me eliminate my attachments. At first, I didn’t like that he was not diligent when it came to Fa study. He hardly studied at all and didn't read through Zhuan Falun even once a year.
“He is in his 30s and still single. He didn’t have a stable job and often stayed at home. When my neighbors came over, I was so embarrassed to mention him. I always wanted others to do things the way I wanted them done. When that didn’t happen, I complained. It all came down to my selfishness, which falls under the old cosmos’ principles and gives rise to jealousy, resentment, a competitive mentality, and so on. After a while, karma flares up. For the past 10 or so days, I've had pain in my abdomen, so much pain that I would wake up in the middle of the night.
“I didn’t take it to heart at first. Later, by studying the Fa with a calm mind and increasing how long I send forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises, the pain has lessened, although it still hurts.”
Master said:
“Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating.” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
Whether it is karma elimination or improving my supernatural powers, I treat it as a good thing.
“And human notions change,The degenerate things purged” (“Born Anew,” Hong Yin)
My heart has lightened and I have more compassion. Master arranges everything for me—I just have to cultivate well and do the three things diligently.
While I was writing this sharing, my pain lessened.
Category: Improving Oneself
