(Minghui.org) When I read a story of a practitioner being persecuted to death a few days ago, I had a thought that the evil police should not live in the world, so why hasn’t Master punished this kind of people? When this thought emerged, I tried to get rid of it immediately: this hateful thought is not from me – the doubt in Master is not from the real me.
I had a similar thought 10 some years ago. Back then my father was tortured in a forced labor camp. He was later sent back home because he was very sick. Looking at him in pain and dying, I had a thought—why doesn’t Master save him? He is also Master’s disciple. I also realized that this thought was wrong. But back then I didn’t have a good understanding of the Fa, so I didn’t realize that this thought contained a complaint about Master, and I didn’t try to find the root of this thought.
Now I look for the root of it. What kind of human notions give me such a thought? I had told my mother, “Cultivate diligently. There is nothing that we cannot put down. Nothing in the world is fairer than the Fa Master taught us. People can play tricks, but not when it comes to Dafa. One must solidly cultivate his heart to improve.”
Recalling this, I realized that I had a human notion of being fair. I measured things against this notion, instead of the Fa. Since I was very little, I hated any evil. I thought that I was a general in my previous life. I found that I had hatred and could not tolerate unfairness. But this is a human notion.
Master told us,
“Human beings are sinners. Buddhas do not punish people, because all people are driven by ignorance and have already done harm to themselves. Moreover, they have accrued great amounts of karma for themselves, and great catastrophes soon await them. Would there still be any need to punish them? In fact, if a person does something wrong, he is bound to suffer retribution sometime in the future. It’s just that people do not realize it or believe it; they think that mishaps are accidents.” (“For Whom do You Practice Cultivation?” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I asked myself for whom do I cultivate. Was it to eliminate human notions? No, I cultivate for my true self. Why do I exist? I am here to validate Dafa, help Master rectify the Fa, and save sentient beings. When thinking of these, I felt that everything in the secular world was far away from me. Except for the three things and helping Master to save people, nothing else is important to me.
Master said,
“As for some people, no matter how you tell them about it, they still will not believe and will think that it is more practical to be everyday persons. They will hold on to their stubborn beliefs rather than relinquish them, and this renders them unable to believe.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
It is the human notion of pursuing fairness that renders me unable to believe in Master and assimilate to the Fa.
In fact, Master used a fellow practitioner to give me a hint last summer. My sister-in-law is also a practitioner, but I always looked down on her. I knew that it was wrong, and tried to correct myself. But because of the notions, I failed. I hardly communicate with her and tried to avoid the fellow practitioners that often hang out with her. I was afraid that I would hurt her, and I tried to avoid talking to her. There was no compassion toward her in my heart.
She and I grew up in a very different environment. I was educated holding traditional values, and my grandfather was very tough on us. I therefore developed strong human notions, which I used to measure everything in the world. But she does not have those traditional thoughts, so we didn’t get along. I often thought the way she did things was wrong and wondered why she didn’t see how wrong it was. I treated her with my notions and had many complaints against her. I was curious if fellow practitioners who are close to her have the same values as hers.
Last summer, I had a chance to bring up this question to a fellow practitioner. The practitioner said that her childhood environment shaped her personality. “I work with her not because I thought she was right, but because she can point out my problems. I want to genuinely cultivate, so I am able to tolerate her shortcomings. Why don’t you cultivate yourself? One plus one equals two in your mind, but not two in hers.” This practitioner’s words woke me up.
I recalled Master’s teaching:
“Some students asked me whether "one plus one equals two" is true in the heavens. The human way of thinking and human logic don't exist in the heavens. Its meaning eventually changes and it's not like that anymore.” (“Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teaching, Vol. III)
Through so many years, I measured things against my human notions, and never corrected myself with the Fa. How should I cultivate? Human notions can only be applied to everyday people. As a Dafa disciple I should measure my speech, behavior, and thought against the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, instead of measuring others against my human notions. This is the key for a big breakthrough.
When realizing this, I felt that my heart was broadened. Other people’s words cannot move me. I felt that the heavy burden that blocked my cultivation disappeared. I also changed my attitude towards my sister-in-law.
Master said,
“If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity. If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation. You cannot always count on me to eliminate karma for you while you fail to truly progress in comprehending the Fa and rise above human understandings and notions. Your ways of thinking, your understanding, and your appreciation towards me and Dafa are the product of ordinary human thinking. But what I’m teaching you is in fact moving beyond ordinary humans to a rational, true understanding of Dafa!” (“Cautionary Advice,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I had strong qing towards my mother, who is also a practitioner. A while ago, she had sickness karma. I helped her send forth righteous thoughts. My heart was moved by her situation. When I looked at myself calmly, I found strong qing. I was afraid that she had shortcomings in cultivation, and could even lose her life. I was afraid of being alone in the world (my father passed away due to the persecution 10 years ago). I knew my fear came from qing. I asked myself how to get rid of qing.
I recalled my cultivation journey. Every step I made was with the help and guidance of Master. Without Master’s protection, I would not be able to make any progress. Similarly, my mother, a Dafa disciple of Master’s, is also being protected by Master. My fear and worry were human thoughts. Do I really believe Master? My human thoughts were too narrow.
After I got rid of the notion, I realized that Master has arranged everything for us, and his arrangements are the best. I only believe in Master and the Fa. When this thought emerged, my heart was liberated from qing. I enlightened that one can walk out of the human secular world only if he changes the human notions and gets rid of the false self that is made of human notions.
A few years ago I had a dream. I climbed a ladder that went into the sky. There were no rails. I was exhausted and wanted to take a break. I asked where the end was. I looked down, and was shocked—the path behind me was covered by clouds, and I could not see anything but the short segment of the ladder that I just climbed. It was just like what Master said in the poem,
“Dwarfed by the immensity of the universe Even how we came to this world is veiled...” (“To Return to Heaven,” Hong Yin, V)
I realized that in cultivation there is no way to go back. I looked up, and saw a practitioner climbing up quickly. He was younger than me. I was encouraged and resumed climbing. With this thought, I was energized. The fear was gone. I climbed fast and reached the top quickly. At that moment, I realized that I was exhausted and had fear because I could not see the end, although the journey was almost over.
Two years ago, my cultivation state was not good. I was frustrated, and could not make any progress. Although I still did the three things, I didn’t cultivate with the heart I once had. Sometimes I felt bored with daily life, but I could not obtain the divine state. Sometimes I felt lonely, but I didn’t know how to make a breakthrough.
Once I read,
“On one occasion I had my mind connected with four or five great enlightened people and great Taos from extremely high levels. Speaking of high levels, their levels were so high that everyday people would find it simply inconceivable.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation)
This teaching made me think about what kind of principle Master was telling us. Master said “The Buddha School requires emptiness, and the Tao School teaches nothingness.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that Master was telling us that when reaching the high level, a cultivator’s state is empty. There is no human qing or human thoughts. He or she will not pursue the joys in the everyday world. An everyday person would be afraid of being alone, because of qing.
Master said,
“You know what? Just on the one issue of cultivation alone it’s so complex at the cosmos’s lower levels. But it becomes simple at higher levels, where there’s no longer any concept of cultivation but only the concept of karma elimination. At levels higher up, all troubles are to pave the way for ascending to Heaven. And at even higher levels, concepts like eliminating karma, enduring hardships, and cultivation no longer exist, and it’s just a choice! This is the principle at high levels of the cosmos: You think someone is good enough, so you choose him—that’s the principle.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
As a Dafa disciple, I was chosen by Master. Master chose me, so I must have the ability to reach consummation. I came to the world to help Master save people, which is the only goal of my life. It is the reason for sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises. Master said that the beings in the old universe are selfish, but we need to assimilate to the Fa and enter the new universe. If I reach the true altruistic state and prioritize others always, I will be able to enter the new universe, and the principles of the old universe will no longer be able to constrain me. I must get rid of the false self-made human notions, and let my true self rule me.
After I changed my thoughts, I reached a state, in which my mind is always empty with no thoughts. I can easily calm down and study the Fa. Once again, I am able to cultivate as I was at the beginning. I feel the happiness in cultivation, and no longer have the feeling of being lonely. I no longer pursue excitement in daily life.
Looking inward I asked myself why I used to be depressed. I had put down a lot of attachments during cultivation. But since I didn’t get rid of the human notions, I could not truly sense the beauty of being a cultivator. That is why I got stuck in cultivation and felt miserable.
Now, I realize that as a Dafa disciple, if we want to walk out of the human world, we must get rid of human notions, and cultivate Buddhahood. We must let our true selves rule us. Only then can we have the solid belief in Master and Dafa, and assimilate to the Fa.
Above are my current understandings. Please point it out if anything is not in accordance with the Fa.