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I Finally Eliminated My Resentment for My Husband

July 12, 2025 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Shandong Province, China

(Minghui.org) Thinking back on my cultivation journey, it was my resentment for my husband that was the hardest to get rid of.

We are in our 70s, and I held a grudge against him for years. My husband is a kind and honest man who enjoys helping others. But he is also stubborn and never tried to please his boss. He worked hard as a driver for his company during his entire career, but he never got a retirement benefit before his company went bankrupt.

Before I became a Falun Dafa practitioner, I looked down on my husband and often fought with him. For many years, we were cold to each other. After I started cultivating, I realized that I had to eliminate my resentment. I did, but only superficially. I failed to uproot it.

This resentment was agonizing and really affected me, which made my journey of cultivation especially difficult. Despite my diligent attempts and temporary successes, the resentment always seemed to eventually re-surface and push me back to my starting point. I couldn’t shake the resentment by its root, and it felt as if it were strangling me.

A few days ago, something trivial triggered overwhelming resentment for my husband. All my past unhappinesses flashed through my mind, and this evil energy tortured me. I sent forth righteous thoughts for an extended period of time, just as I did before. My resentment retreated, but it was still strong.

I discussed it with my fellow practitioners after our group study. I said, “I will uproot my resentment completely. I’m determined to get rid of this attachment.” I begged Master Li to reinforce me so I could eliminate the controlling entity behind the resentment. I thought, “It’s not my true self, but a false ‘me’ the old forces have arranged for. I have to eliminate it. I only want my true self, the self Master has arranged.”

I studied the Fa with more care and attention and tried to eliminate the resentment again and again. I had recently run into trials over this issue almost daily. As I tried to do my best to behave according to the Fa in every instance, I could clearly sense Master’s detailed arrangements for me to make improvements, with one trial leading to another. I knew Master was anxious to see me improve, but I didn’t have great enlightenment quality and had been sluggish for so long!

Now I have completely changed my view of my husband. All my hurt feelings and notions that I was being treated unfairly seem to have blown away. I can see that it’s my karma that has caused my unhappiness and that Master has cleverly used it to dissolve my karma and improve my character. My old human notions can’t reach me anymore, and my husband no longer gets on my nerves. When his behavior seems to be a reflection of Chinese Communist Party (CCP) indoctrination, my first thought is to look within myself and see if I have the same problem. I sympathize with him and care about him. It’s still by far from Falun Dafa’s principle of compassion, but it’s huge progress for me.

I apologized to my husband for being so aggressive when we disagreed. I said, “I’m sorry for what I have done in the past. It’s all my fault for holding a grudge against you. It has damaged your relationship with our son. I’m a cultivator now. I’ll get rid of my attachments, including grudges against our daughter-in-law, my brother, and sister-in-law. I’ll uproot all my attachments and put others before me from now on.”

My husband was surprised by my apology. He replied sincerely, “It’s not all your fault. I know I haven’t done many things well and haven’t fulfilled all my responsibilities as a husband.”

Our conversation made me feel that Master had made arrangements for my husband to help me improve. We are husband and wife in this lifetime for a reason. I could have owed my husband something in another life or had certain attachments that needed to be eliminated.

This was a major obstacle in my cultivation, because it kept me from saving sentient beings. Our poor relationship had affected my extended family’s positive understanding of Falun Dafa. As a genuine Dafa disciple, I’m determined to live by the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance in the future.

I thank Master from the bottom of my heart for all his painstaking arrangements and all his endurance for me! It’s the most fortunate thing in my life to be Master’s disciple! I will do the three things well, make improvements diligently, and save more sentient beings!