(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1999. I’d like to tell how I improved my xinxing, validated the Fa, and helped Master save people.
One time at our Fa study group, as soon as we sat down, practitioner Yan pulled out a pair of cotton pants and said, “These pants don’t fit me; they are too tight and short. You can take them home for your child.” I said, “Thanks!” and set them aside. Practitioner Li said, “Why are you so greedy? You just accepted them and did not ask how much it cost.”
I was irritated and retorted, “She didn’t say I had to pay for it; she said it was a gift. I didn’t ask for it. I admit I have attachments and I’ll examine myself. I don’t accept what you’re saying.”
I couldn’t calm down, and as we read the Fa I stewed inside: “You’re not much better than me. Why do you criticize me?” My feelings of indignation, competitiveness, resentment, and disdain surged. I suppressed my anger and finished reading.
After I got home I gradually calmed down and began to look inward. Why did Li suddenly say that to me? Why did I get angry? As a cultivator, nothing happens without a reason so she touched my attachments. Once I started looking inward all kinds of attachments surfaced: personal gain, saving face, looking down on others, indignation, defensiveness, competitiveness, resentment, so many human notions were exposed all at once.
I suddenly remembered that I accepted things from others many times, even if I didn’t need them, if they weren’t useful, or if I felt awkward rejecting them. Isn’t that being greedy? Isn’t that exactly what Li was pointing out? Not only did I fail to enlighten to it, but I argued with Li to the point of turning red in the face, disrupting the peaceful environment of the Fa study group. That was truly inappropriate. I was determined that from then on, I must follow Master’s teachings, focus on cultivating myself, and constantly remind myself to unconditionally look inward.
I went through a major tribulation last year. My husband and I were married for more than 30 years, and I never imagined we would have issues.
For the past two years I noticed he was frequently contacted by multiple women. He started by doing this in secret, and then he openly did this regardless of the time of day. Sometimes he received multiple calls in a single day. When he didn’t answer a call in front of me, he immediately got dressed and went outside.
I wasn’t moved at first. But he later began bringing gifts from a woman to our home—from shoes to cooked dishes, pickles, and chili sauce. He even placed them on the dining table. Seeing it made my chest feel tight. I knew I am a cultivator and shouldn’t lose my temper. I suppressed my anger and said nothing.
Then, I happened to see my husband with that woman while I was shopping at the supermarket. He didn’t even glance at me, and pretended not to know me. It felt like a knife cut through my heart. I asked myself, “Can I still go on with this marriage?”
When he got home I held back my rage and said in a soft tone, “If you think she treats you better, I won’t argue. I won’t cling to you. We can get a divorce.” My daughter also scolded him. Unexpectedly, he acted as if he was the victim, saying, “If the two of you gang up on me and drive me out, I’ll leave.” I planned to file for a divorce if he wanted it. However, he didn’t express his opinion, so I didn’t bring it up again.
I felt like my heart was being cut by a knife. Anger, grief, jealousy, resentment, and all kinds of negative emotions overwhelmed me, suffocating me. I often cried, completely caught up in human sentimentality.
I confided in another practitioner, who shared her understanding based on the Fa and her own similar experiences to comfort me. I felt much calmer and began recalling Master’s teachings. Master said:
“If you break free from this qing, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What comes and replaces it is benevolence, which is a nobler thing.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s teachings woke me up. I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I came to the human world to cultivate myself well, assist Master in Fa-rectification, and fulfill a vow I made long ago. How could I get caught up in the so-called beautiful life of ordinary people, chasing after family warmth and happiness, or my husband’s attention and care? What use is it to cling so tightly to these human things? The happiness that ordinary people seek is exactly the obstacle I must remove on my path home. I don’t want these things. I want to return home with Master.
Once the Fa principles became clear to me, I calmed down and earnestly read the lectures Master gave in various places. I was truly able to let go of what once seemed like an extremely difficult test. The feeling was incredibly liberating.
One day I went out with another practitioner to clarify the truth to people. As we arrived at the entrance of a store, we saw a man and a woman sitting in chairs outside, and there happened to be two empty chairs nearby. As we got closer, we saw there was water on the chairs. Just as we were wondering how to wipe them dry, a man came out of the store and said, “There’s a rag over there you can use to wipe them off with.” I dried the chairs with the rag and sat down beside the two people.
I struck up a conversation with the woman, “There are so many natural and man-made disasters nowadays. Have you heard about making the ‘three withdrawals’ to ensure your safety?” (referring to quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), Youth League, and Young Pioneers) She replied, “No, I haven’t heard of that.” I asked, “Did you go to school?” She said, “Not much. My husband is the one who studied more.” I explained the truth about Dafa and the persecution, and they both agreed to quit the CCP organizations they joined. Just then, a car pulled up, and they quickly got in and left. The timing was perfect.
About two years ago, I was buying vegetables at a stall in the market when a woman suddenly came up behind me and said, “You didn’t pay when you bought scallions from me the other day.” She was the vendor across from me who sold scallions. She said, “You used your phone to scan the QR code, but the payment didn’t go through.” I said, “I didn’t buy scallions, and I don’t even use a smartphone, I always pay in cash.” She sternly insisted, “It was you. You didn’t pay.” I asked, “How much was it?” She said, “One yuan.” I thought, “It’s not much money. Whether I bought it or not, I’ll just give it to her.” So I said, “I don’t mind giving you the money.” Unexpectedly, she got angry and said loudly, “I’m not short of that one yuan, I don’t want it!” Since she wouldn’t take the money, I just walked away.
Later, I discussed this incident with a practitioner, who said, “Maybe she was trying to approach you so she could hear the truth.” I suddenly had a moment of realization: “That’s right! Why didn’t I think of that?” Nothing that happens to a cultivator is accidental. At the time, I was stuck in ordinary thinking, believing she had mistaken me for someone else and wronged me. I felt indignant and spoke to her harshly, failing to show the compassion of a cultivator. Fortunately, Master used my fellow practitioner’s words to enlighten me, and I suddenly understood.
I went back to look for the scallion vendor, but couldn’t find her anywhere. I thought, “Don’t worry, if it’s meant to be, I’ll see her again.” Sure enough, about two months later, I saw her again at another market. She was walking ahead of me, so I quickly went up and stopped her. I said, “I’m sorry, my tone wasn’t good last time. It was my fault. I’d like to give you the money.” She happily accepted it. Then I pulled her aside and clarified the truth to her, and she accepted it with joy. Since then, whenever we saw each other, she would greet me warmly.
I know that I am still far from meeting Master’s requirements, but I firmly believe in Master and the Fa. In the limited and precious time remaining, I will strive to do even better and be even more diligent.