(Minghui.org) Every practitioner knows that we need to negate the old forces’ persecution on our paths of cultivation. Every practitioner has their own path of negating the persecution based on their understandings of the Fa. Here, I’d like to share my experiences of overcoming fear as I negated the persecution, so that we can improve in cultivation together.
I began practicing Falun Gong, also known as Falun Dafa, before July 20, 1999. In recent years, some practitioners who I interacted with a lot were illegally sentenced to prison for their faith, while others stayed away from home to avoid the persecution. Whenever I thought about these things, I felt depressed. This feeling was especially obvious when I went out with a practitioner to do face-to-face truth-clarification. After the practitioner gave an amulet to a vegetable seller, we were chased by 610 Office personnel in their car that had been parked not far from the stall.
Both of us were taken to a police station to record a statement and were released that afternoon. After that, a person from the police department secretly told my husband that the Domestic Security Division had said that I was a leader. When my husband told me about that, I did not negate it in time (a faint sense of fear started to stir deep within me). Around 8 p.m. one night some time later, I suddenly felt very scared. It was spine-chilling feeling and everywhere felt unsafe. I went to a fellow practitioner’s house.
I looked within and sent forth righteous thoughts, but the fear still led to harassment that lasted the entire next year. The 610 Office personnel even tried to force me to sign papers to renounce Falun Gong. They came to my house once a month. Sometimes, one person came while sometimes a few people came together. I felt really tired physically and mentally at the time, and my family also suffered to the extreme. Luckily, under Master’s empowerment and with encouragement from other practitioners, I managed to overcome this tribulation with righteous thoughts. I got rid of quite a lot of fear mentality through this experience.
Just a few days ago, I rode my electric bike to a market to save sentient beings. I met a practitioner on the way who was also going to the market. When we reached the roadside of a village, six people were gathered together chatting. The practitioner said, “You help me send forth righteous thoughts while I go and save people.” I stopped and stood by the roadside to send forth righteous thoughts. From afar, I saw the practitioner distributing materials as he spoke, while taking down notes from time to time.
In my mind, I thought that these people were quite receptive and I even admired that practitioner. I then realized that one of them was using his mobile phone to record the process and had recorded me in the clip as well. In that moment, a thought instinctively flashed in my mind: “If this person intends to do bad things, let his mobile phone break.” The person stood up, walked to the side of the road and stood there. The practitioner returned and we continued to ride on. As we rode, I asked, “Did the person who came over quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations?” The practitioner replied, “No, his attitude was very arrogant and he told me to go away.” I said, “He recorded us just now. Let me go back to look for him.” By the time I rode back to that place, that person had already gone. This made me feel a little uneasy. We returned home without continuing to clarify the truth.
When I was going out the next morning, I was still feeling a little unwilling to leave the house. In my heart, I asked myself, “Are you a Dafa practitioner?” I replied to myself, “Yes.” “Then why am I unwilling to do the three things that Master asks us to do?” I finally overcame it (but fear was still hidden in my heart) and left the house.
When I was on my way to the market on my bike and was waiting for the traffic light to turn green, I heard someone cough and I instinctively glanced to my left. A police car stopped by my side, and the police officer inside gave me an eerie smile and picked up his mobile phone when he saw that I was looking at him. At that moment, a thought came into my mind, “I have been reported and they are going online to see if I am the one.” I quickly rejected it, “This thought is not mine, I am only taken care of by Master.” As I did not find the source of my fear (I did not realize deeply and clearly that the fear was not from myself), the old forces did not let me go. They continued to create illusions for me.
After returning home that night, a practitioner told me that she had been arrested three times over the past few years, and the procuratorate had proposed to sentence her to four years of imprisonment. That deepened the shadow of the persecution in my heart. When I went out to clarify the truth the following day, a young man was standing near the place that I parked my bike. I was just about to start speaking when he turned his face away. This happened a few times, so I gave up and walked away. The practitioner behind me went over to talk to him instead. After that practitioner left, I discovered that the young man was holding his mobile phone and kept turning his head from time to time to see the direction the other practitioner had walked. Suspicion once again surged up inside me and I left quickly. By the time I saw that practitioner again, I asked if that young man had quit the CCP. The practitioner replied, “He quit and he even kept thanking me.”
This practitioner’s reply moved me a lot. I knew that fear had led the old forces to create an illusion for me. After returning home, I reflected on myself deeply. Over these years, I always seemed to be surrounded by the shadow of fear. As I was not clear on the Fa, I was deceived by the old forces and did not recognize that this fear is fundamentally not me. The origin of my life is formed by Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Fear is something that the old forces forced upon me and I mistook the fear for myself. I unknowingly took a detour on the path that the old forces arranged. Their motive was to stop me from going out to save people. Through studying the Fa and reading other practitioners’ cultivation experience sharing articles, I am finally clear.
From the bottom of my heart, I sent out a thought, “This fear is not me. It is being forced upon me by the old forces so I do not want any bit of it; I only take the path that Master has arranged for me to save more people.” I also strengthened my sending of righteous thoughts. When I go out to clarify the truth and see police cars now, I no longer panic. Instead, I will say in my heart, “I’m not under your control.”
My constricted heart has finally opened up and found clarity. The shadow of fear has finally dissipated. In the remaining time, I must do the three things well so that I live up to Master’s benevolent efforts to save us. I must cultivate myself solidly and do well on my future path.
Thank you, Master, for your protection all the time!
Thank you, fellow practitioners.