(Clearwisdom.net) This most vicious, senseless, and far-reaching persecution of Falun Dafa has lasted over five years. Holding on to their firm belief in Falun Dafa and Teacher, Falun Dafa practitioners in China have courageously endured through these years of inhuman persecution, and have passed life-and-death tests. They have upheld the dignity of Falun Dafa with their lives, and their magnificent feats have deterred and destroyed the evil, and won respect from all.
As a practitioner, I have walked my path during the Fa-rectification process with righteous thoughts and actions, but I also have shortcomings. To share experiences and promote group progress, I have summarized my cultivation path here as a Fa-rectification disciple during the past five years.
1. Becoming a Falun Dafa practitioner
I attained Falun Dafa in October 1998. My wife used to suffer from illnesses that no hospital could cure. Her younger sister told her, "Why don't you practice Falun Gong? It is very effective." My wife was interested and discussed it with me. I suggested, "Let's be cautious and take a look first." My wife told me about the main book of the practice and we decided to read the book. Several days later, her sister brought us a copy of Zhuan Falun. I gave the book a quick look and could not put it down. My wife asked for my opinion. I told her that the book was very good, and to go ahead and practice it. That was the day when she began the practice.
At the beginning, I did not think of practicing it by myself. But as I kept reading it, I began to understand that this book was unusual. I did not believe in qigong, and knew nothing about cultivation. I could not believe that a person could become a Buddha through cultivation. But I kept on reading the book very carefully. Gradually, the theories in the book became believable. Several months later, I understood the implications of this book and formally decided to practice. My personality is such that once I decide something after careful consideration, I will persevere, and no difficulties can deter me.
Since I attained Falun Dafa relatively late, I wanted to catch up with veteran practitioners as fast as possible. Therefore, I spent almost all of my free time studying Falun Dafa and doing the exercises, and I was amazed to see the big changes within myself. I had decided at the time that I would become a Buddha through the practice. Although the time was not that long, I achieved a solid base for my future path.
2. Giving up everything and standing up to validate Falun Dafa
Only a few months after I attained Falun Dafa, the April 25th event happened. On the evening of April 24, 1999, after hearing about the Tianjin event where police beat practitioners, my wife and I decided to go to Beijing to appeal. In the morning we traveled to Beijing. After arriving on Fuyou Street, we saw that fellow practitioners were standing on both sides of the road, and we could not see the end of the line. We walked to the east side of the north gate of the State Council, and stood at the north side on the bridge between Zhongnanhai and the North Sea Park. About ten thousand practitioners stood there peacefully. More and more practitioners were coming from outside of Beijing. Such a magnificent scene! Such great dignity! Passersby and police officers were amazed and showed respect because of the orderly behavior of all. One elderly man said when passing by with a young man, "Such a scene has not happened since the day of creation."
At around 9:00 p.m. in the evening, our requests were resolved positively, so we went home. The April 25th event showed that if our minds are unified, mountains could be moved. It was a perfect example for our future actions during the Fa-rectification period.
3. Firm in My Righteous Belief! First Experience of Life-and-Death Test
Before July 20, 1999, when the persecution began, I had a premonition about a big tribulation facing Dafa practitioners, but I had not expected the persecution to come so quickly, inhumanly, and insanely. This unprecedented large-scale persecution represented a life-and-death test for every practitioner.
After the persecution began, I went with local practitioners to the city appeals office to appeal. They told us that the decision came down from higher levels of authority. The second day the appeals office's doors closed. Some fellow practitioners went to see the city government, but were arrested. So what should we do? Some said we should go to Beijing to appeal, some said we could just stay at home and be firm in our belief. My wife and I decided to go to Beijing to appeal. In Beijing, after communicating with practitioners throughout the country, it became clearer how we should safeguard Falun Dafa. But many of my local fellow practitioners didn't realize the seriousness of the situation. I went back home to share my viewpoint with coordinators, who took immediate actions, and subsequently many fellow practitioners went to Beijing to appeal. Then I went to other places together with fellow practitioners to communicate with local practitioners. Later, practitioners in those areas went to Beijing to appeal in groups.
My stay in Beijing was short, but my moral character and understanding of Falun Dafa progressed rapidly. Many questions were suddenly answered. While walking, I found the answer to a question. I experienced the vast difference between stepping forward and just staying at home. I felt that I had turned into another person. This period of time gave me a solid background for my future Fa-rectification practice.
Initially we decided to appeal at the Appeals Office of the State Council. But fellow practitioners who had gone there told us that they just arrested people and asked no questions. Later they simply closed the door. The gate for appealing was closed to us, so we decided to go to Tiananmen Square. We knew that the next morning more tourists would be there, and we could tell them that Falun Dafa is good. Unfortunately, our plan could not come to fruition. A fellow practitioner who had stayed in the same hotel with me was arrested. The police arrested my family and other fellow practitioners at the hotel and sent us back to a local detention center.
At the detention center, since fellow practitioners and I refused to write Guarantee Statements to give up Falun Gong, the guards handcuffed us, twisted our arms behind our backs and hooked the handcuffs to a steel ring that was attached to the ground. The cell head said, "This is a place of torture, no matter how strong a man is, he will eventually give up. Write a guarantee and I'll ask the warden to release you." I said, "I will not write such a guarantee." The cell head responded, "Don't put your foot where your mouth is. You will regret this. You'll feel the pain of this torture method within three days. Then you might have no choice but to write the guarantee."
That evening, the pain became excruciating. The following day, the pain became almost unbearable. During the night, because of the pain, I often could not breathe. The pain I felt cannot be described in words. I can only say that to be alive and feel such pain is almost worse than dying. For 24 hours a day, the handcuffs remained in place. Guards arranged for a person to help me brush my teeth, eat and relieve myself. Some criminals shuddered after seeing me handcuffed like that. Every second of such suffering felt endless. The cell head said I would have to write the Guarantee Statement.
My endurance reached the limit. I knew I would not write the guarantee. But what should I do? Then I thought of Teacher's words in Zhuan Falun,
"When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible."
I kept reciting these words in my mind over and over again. Gradually, I felt that I could endure it. After some time, I didn't feel the pain anymore. Finally, my body became lighter and lighter until I didn't feel the existence of my body any longer. The only thing I knew was that my thoughts and I became comfortable. This extraordinary experience showed the power of Falun Dafa, and greatly encouraged me to defeat the evil.
Seeing my firmness, the cell head told me, "If you are handcuffed like this for seven days, you will be handicapped." On the seventh day, the Communist Party Secretary of the detention center came and asked me how I felt. I told him that I was fine. He raised his thumb and said, "You are great!"
On the eighth day, they moved my handcuffed hands to the front. I was in that position for another 8 days and nights. Then they handcuffed only one hand for 15 days. I was handcuffed for a total of one month. During that period of time, I took every chance to clarify the truth of Falun Dafa to inmates. At beginning, they were scared and did not allow me to talk. But gradually they liked to listen, after I told ever more interesting stories. The cell head stopped me at first, but listened to me later. The inmates all knew that Falun Dafa is good, and that practitioners are upright and honest people. One inmate was handcuffed beside me, and I talked to him a lot. He could even recite several of Teacher's poems. If someone said negative words to us, he would stop them by saying, "Shut up! Don't talk nonsense!"
After three months of detention, I was unlawfully sent to a forced labor camp for a three-year term.
4. Resist Persecution with Righteous Thoughts and Actions
Before the 2000 Chinese New Year, I was sent to a forced labor camp. I had been shocked by the cruelty I experienced in that detention center, but the forced labor camp was simply hell on earth. I probably would not have believed how cruelly and inhumanly people are treated there, if I had not experienced it in person. Detainees had to work for over 20 hours each day, and were fed only steamed corn bread and soup made from rotten vegetable leaves. It was not unusual that they were deprived of sleep for several days when work needed to be done. Brutal guards held batons in hand to beat detainees into submission. Anyone who was slow would receive a beating. If anyone cried, the beating would be more brutal. Many were beaten into disability, and still had to work. Everyone had a quota. If the quota was not reached, sleep would not be allowed.
I tried to create an environment. I could not follow their orders. When I worked, I acted modestly. Guards said I needed to be faster, and I said I was not able to. The group leader said I would be beaten if I kept working at that speed. I said beating people is illegal, and the group leader said that beating people here was like three meals a day. I said I'll see who dares to. Later nobody came to bother me. Guards ignored me when patrolling.
One time the brigade head told me, "If you write a Guarantee Statement, you'll be allowed to go home." I told him that I had not done anything wrong, and I did not see the need to write a guarantee. I told him what Falun Dafa was, and why human beings should cultivate. We are just following Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance. We want to be good people, and we have no interest in politics. What is shown on TV are lies to defame Falun Dafa. I talked with him for a few hours. He said you've done well in truthfulness and tolerance, but not in compassion. I asked why. He told me, "You have your family. Now, no one takes care of them, and besides they are deeply worried about you. The Party and the government are so generous. All they ask is that you write a guarantee and you will be released, but you refuse. You just think about yourself. How can you say this is compassion?"
Since many people have such thoughts, I needed to prove him wrong. I told him, "This is a good question. Let me give you an example and clarify this issue. The founders of the Chinese Communist Party, to assure that the revolution would succeed, let their parents, wives, and kids be persecuted, arrested, or killed by the Kuomintang government. If they had relented, their families would have been freed. Do you think those founders were kind or not?" The brigade head was speechless for quite a while. I told him that I just gave him an example. We are all good for society and country, and we do not harm anyone. When you find the time, please read the book Zhuan Falun. You will understand everything then."
Later, he told a guard of my section that the Falun Gong person in your group is really clever, and he was almost persuaded by him. Since this brigade is a tightly controlled brigade, he used to be very cruel when beating people. But he rarely beat any Falun Gong practitioners.
One time, a police officer asked several of us Falun Gong practitioners to read newspaper articles, which slandered Falun Gong. I told him that we could not do that, because what the media wrote were lies and slandered Falun Gong. Because of this, I was transferred to the tightly monitored group. Usually this group did not work. But they found work for me because they wanted to punish me. One day I was called to carry heavy gunny sacks. After the work was done, they asked me to carry one extra bag. I refused! From that moment I refused to do any more work. The guard no longer bothered me, and I no longer needed to work.
One day, section head Zhao from the management section asked me my opinion of the forced labor camp. I told him that the camp turned good people into bad people. He nodded after thinking about it for a while. Several days later, Zhao asked me to write a personal report to be shown to the camp head. I wrote an over 20-page article in which I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa. Several days later, Zhao told me that the article was very good and that my Teacher would be very pleased.
In recollecting the aforementioned incidents, I realized that my mind was righteous then. I held no attachments, therefore everything went smoothly, and I did not suffer too much. After about one month in the tight-monitored group, I was transferred back to the first brigade. I still refused to work, and guards did not pay attention to me.
Around June 2000, all of the Falun Dafa practitioners in the forced labor camp went on a group hunger strike. The strike shocked the camp and the evil. The environment improved greatly. Sleeping time increased from two to three hours, to seven to eight hours per night. The food was slightly better, and guards no longer beat people at will. The process of the hunger strike is a battle between good and evil. Guards asked me to eat. I responded that I'd eat after our conditions are met. I asked him to please report to the camp warden.
On the fifth day of the hunger strike, the camp warden called me to his office and tried to persuade me to be the first one to eat. I said I would not eat before our conditions were met. He became angry and said if I still did not eat, that they will force-feed me. The following day they brought me to a hospital to be force-fed. After returning, I continued the hunger strike. They force-fed me again five days later, and I still continued the hunger strike.
With no solution in sight, the camp warden finally asked me about my conditions. I told him my three conditions, 1) Clear the name of Falun Dafa and my Teacher. 2) No guard or criminal detainee is allowed to defame Falun Dafa and our Teacher. 3) No beating, cursing, or forced labor for Falun Dafa practitioners. The camp head said condition two and three were negotiable, but he had no control over condition one. I told him that he could report our request to the government. He said yes and asked, "Are you now going to eat." I told him that I would keep my promise.
This hunger strike greatly changed our situation and encouraged practitioners. Through the incidents, I saw the indestructible power of acting as one body. I came to understand that to succeed we had to overcome difficulties.
After this event, I was again transferred to the second brigade. During that period of time, we received several new articles recently published by Teacher. I was so happy and excited to read these articles, and burst into tears. After I finished reading them, I gave the articles to other practitioners and they all read them.
When delivering the articles, I held a wrong thought in my mind. I thought that I didn't care if the guards found out about this after all the practitioners had a chance to read the articles. Because of that thought, the articles were found after they were returned to me. The brigade head said angrily. "I repeatedly told you not to circulate Falun Dafa articles! Why would you do it?" I responded that I do it because it's good for our country, for our people, and for you. He was speechless for a long time. Then he asked me, "Who brought you these articles?" I told him that I would not tell him. He said, "Aren't you practicing Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance? Why don't you tell the truth?" I told him I promised not to tell, and that's true. He said he would punish me the following day. It was an empty threat. I was not punished.
5. Letting Go of My Life to Act against the Persecution
In April 2001, the local forced labor camp suddenly transferred me to the Gaoyang Forced Labor Camp, a camp that is notorious for cruelty and brutality against practitioners. It was during the most frenzied period of the persecution and "mass transformation." Back then, all practitioners who could not be reformed at other places were sent to Gaoyang Camp.
At the beginning, nobody dared to talk to us. After we talked, we could not believe that they were practitioners. Later we learned that they had gone astray because of the brutal torture. Back then, many practitioners at Gaoyang submitted to the "reformation," and those who were not reformed were depressed. I realized the seriousness of the situation and told fellow practitioners who were transferred with me, "We have to change this evil environment." Therefore, our group of about ten practitioners began to talk with the collaborators (1). After several discussions, most collaborators gave up. Only one of them continued to argue with us. He was the most stubborn among them and he himself had "Reformed" many practitioners. But after several more fierce debates, he conceded failure. He admitted to us that he was a demon who was born to damage Falun Dafa. In less than one month, we corrected the evil influence, causing a great shock within the camp. This victory proved that as long as we have Falun Dafa in mind, we are indestructible, and the evil is afraid of us.
One month later, the camp separated our group. We were sent to different groups and thus could no longer meet with each other. In that blocked and very vicious environment, some practitioners who had suffered grim tests gave up. Some practitioners wrote the guarantee, some even stopped cultivating. On the surface we can find different reasons, but the root cause is because they lacked righteous belief in Falun Dafa.
I was assigned to the Xinxin Melting Factory. The major work over there was to break red-hot materials into smaller pieces, take them to the warehouse with a hand drawn cart, and stack them up. We were assigned two people to a group, and were given four hours to separate about ten tons of slabs measuring about 15 centimeters in length. While one person hammered the slab, I loaded, drew the cart, and unloaded all the pieces. Each cart of load weighs about 900 kilograms (1,984 lbs.). The temperature was hot, a strong person was needed, and the environment was toxic. Most of those working there suffered from lead poisoning, leaving them in pain or disabled.
It did not matter how difficult it became, I always kept a peaceful and optimistic mind. Once a guard asked me, "Why are you always so happy?" I said that I had found the one thing worth waiting for and now since I found it, why should I not be happy?
One time I argued with a guard, and he wanted to beat me. I pointed at him and told him, "Don't move! Don't you know that it's illegal for a guard to beat people?" He lowered his hands. We continued our discussion. After a few words, he wanted to beat me again, and I warned him again. He lowered his arm again. The criminal detainee on my side was amazed at this scenario.
In Spring 2002, I was moved back to the fifth brigade. I learned that they were forcibly "reforming" practitioners in groups, and they had "Reformed" scores of practitioners. This dark place was located in a one story building in a vegetable field. Two other practitioners were sent there with me. The first day, they watched but did nothing to me. Several days later, the two fellow practitioners gave up and left. The hatchet men threatened me, "Do you realize that nobody can survive here?" One walked into here and crawled back out. I told him that I would walk out.
During that time, the brigade head Shi came to talk to me. After two days of continued discussion, he learned about the truth of Falun Dafa. After that, one former practitioner who turned against Dafa came. It was rumored that he could "reform" anybody. I thought I should save him from destroying others and himself. After two days of discussion, he realized he was wrong, and tears appeared in his eyes. I saw his inner pain. The guards saw what happened, and unleashed all of their frustration against me. They stripped me, and handcuffed me to the ground, and started shocking me with three ten-thousand volt electric batons at the same time. Blue flashing lights combined with noises created a very horrifying scene.
I heard that the tenser a person is, the more painful it is to be shocked. So I tried my best to be relaxed and peaceful in mind. They shocked me for a while and didn't see much response. One of the guards said that he had not yet met such a strong person. He could not believe that he could not beat me into submission. He hit me everywhere, especially in sensitive locations. I felt I could not endure it anymore. One guard said that if it doesn't work in the morning, we'll continue in the afternoon, in the evening, and tomorrow, we have time and electricity. I thought that shouldn't be the case. While thinking, I was relaxed and thought that a great and enlightened practitioner shouldn't succumb to those depraved guards. As soon as I held that thought, I no longer felt any pain. Those batons just felt like several ordinary wooden sticks moving around. At that critical moment, I experienced the power of Falun Dafa and the compassion of Teacher once more.
I will not ever forget that experience. They shocked me for over two hours in the morning, and over one hour in the afternoon, then lost their incentive and just moved me aside. After a period of time, guard Wang told me, "If you are not 'reformed,' you will never leave here. If three years are not enough, we'll add another three years." I said, "When its time for me to go home, you will be unable to stop me." Once they realized that I could not be forced and that I would not succumb, they released me two months ahead of the end of my term.
After returning home, I immediately studied all of Teacher's articles, reading them several times. I clearly understood our responsibility, and was able to catch up with the Fa-rectification process. I am now trying my best to fulfill the three tasks required by Teacher, and trying to save sentient beings using a number of different methods, and as quickly as possible.
This is what I experienced and what I understand. Please kindly point to anything I have misunderstood.
(1) Collaborators are former Falun Gong practitioners who have turned against Dafa due to brainwashing and torture.