(Clearwisdom.net)
When I was a child, I wondered, "Where did life come from?" and "Where will I go when I die?" I thought about it over and over, but such questions were difficult to answer. When I was older and able to read a broad range of things, I tried to find answers from books. However, what I got from those famous and wise people were only things like "life is like a dream" and "I will continue to search for the answer." Those books seemed to reflect a passive attitude about death, and the authors seemed to have the same sense of loss as mine. Rather than helping me understand what life was all about, the ideas made me afraid. I was afraid that I would still be lost when I died. Until one day, that is, when I learned about Falun Dafa. Astonishing changes then took place, and everything turned around. Once I began practicing, my life became full of surprises.
However, after truly entering the door of cultivation, all kinds of tests came my way. These tests served to get rid of my sins and to improve my character. Falling and standing up, I embarked on the path home like a child learning to walk.
Due to my not-so-diligent Fa study, my mother and I had gotten lost amidst the widespread lies during the period immediately following July 20, 1999, when the widespread persecution of Falun Gong began. This continued until the winter of 2001, when we came into contact with fellow practitioners and were able to read some of the newer articles, such as "Towards Consummation." Since there were few copies of these articles available at that time, I could only borrow a copy for a few days. I spent those days and nights copying the articles by hand, so that I could gain a deeper understanding.
By the summer of 2003, there were enough copies so that everyone could have one. I thought, finally, I do not need to copy them. However, the following two days, I had a feeling that was so bad that it could not have been worse. On the third day, when I finished copying, the bad feeling disappeared. I understood that Master allowed me to catch up by copying as I had wasted too much time before. Now, copying has become a part of my cultivation, and I always find joy in it. Because of this, when relatives shouted at me in public in fear of their self interest being damaged, or when fellow practitioners became irritated at me, I could face them calmly and with a smile. My thinking became wise and cool, and I understood that the true forbearance of a practitioner is not to have any anger, hatred, or feeling of being misunderstood at all.
Minghui Weekly mentioned several times in 2003 about the importance of reciting the Fa. I made up my mind to do it too. However, I felt it was too slow and time consuming after reciting only a small part of it, and felt that I'd rather read it straight through. However, when I was reading, I regretted not reciting. After several rounds, I told myself that even if the Fa-rectification were to end tomorrow, I should recite as much as possible today. Thereafter, every time I recited, I always felt that I had really stepped into the door of cultivation, as if waking from a dream.
Because I was eager to get to know more practitioners and to improve myself faster, Master arranged for me to find a learning center during the Spring Festival of 2004. Suddenly in contact with so many practitioners, in the pure practicing area, excitement and happiness made me forget who I was, which caused complaints from my fellow practitioners. Hearing their sincere advice, I adjusted my relationships with fellow practitioners and acted more properly.
When Hong Yin (II) was published, some practitioners understood that the words "bodies are imprisoned" referred to those practitioners in labor camps. Later, some other practitioners understood those words as meaning that the environment the mainland practitioners are in is like a prison.
My personal understanding is, when we lag behind in cultivation due to our own laziness, when our determination is attacked, and when we can't demonstrate the character of practitioners, what is the difference between us and those in the labor camps? They are forced, whereas we surrender to the evil willingly. Our jail is intangible. The jail is not built up by others, but by our laziness, sins, ideas formed after birth, and evil factors that have been waiting for opportunities. When we hold firmly to ordinary comfort and happiness, and when we tell fellow practitioners that the objective reasons are weak in-born quality and enlightenment quality, who is going to be happy and who is going to be upset? The old forces will be happy. The evil sees that and finds hope in our lack of persistence and in our weakness. When we are angry toward other peoples' weaknesses and lack of persistence, we forget completely that our own behavior is not like that of a practitioner. We are supposed to completely negate the old forces, and not even acknowledge their existence, but in our minds and consciousness, we unknowingly leave room for degenerated notions to grow and for incorrect behavior to remain.
Master says in the Lecture on the Fa at the U.S. Midwest Conference,
"As long as there is no one interfering with your practice, all sentient beings in the heavens and on Earth can be saved." (provisional translation subject to improvement).
My understanding of this now is that all of the interference comes from within oneself, and one sets himself up a "jail" with his own heart.
Today, we have come to see clearly our weaknesses, shortcomings, and many attachments. The improvement of my fellow practitioners around me and the beauty of when they get rid of their lack of persistence encourage me to be diligent myself. Even if I am the worst, I won't feel upset because of this. All the disadvantages and defects will be erased. Because we are in the Fa, and because we are being uplifted by Master, everything negative and bad will become good, right and pure. In such a dirty and complicated world, we will be uplifted to an unprecedented beautiful, new universe by Master. How can human language be enough to describe and praise this wonderful future?
To be worthy of the title "Fa-rectification disciple," to face up to the great historical responsibilities granted by Master, I think we need to do the three things well, and everything is included in the three things. We should save as many sentient beings as possible before the arrival of the Fa-rectification of the human world.
I felt the seriousness and holiness of cultivation before, and now I feel the happiness and joy of it. Time and again when I overcame my old self, it had been an impossible feat. When the lack of persistence and notions were erased, I felt the greatness of cultivation. Bathed in the compassion of Dafa, I feel like a beam of the light - tiny - but having a true existence.
Someone once said that cultivation is like a song, beautiful and moving. I think it is more than that - it is a poem, beautiful like mountains and rivers; like splendid music, allowing people to feel heaven in its harmony; like a painting, making people feel the breathtaking colors in every detail; like a delicate dance, making people feel indescribable joy in every action.
I have too many feelings to describe one by one. During the process of Fa-rectification, the little things that my fellow practitioners do help me understand what it means to be truly great - the simplicity and ordinariness of their actions help me everyday.
(This is an experience sharing article for the first cultivation experience sharing among Falun Dafa practitioners in Mainland China)
