(Clearwisdom.net) I used the Freegate software to surf on the Internet, and previously had no problems accessing the Internet, but lately it has been quite difficult. I was anxious about this, especially when other practitioners were waiting to download truth clarification information and dropped by to ask about my Internet access from time to time.
Around noon the next day, a practitioner came to ask me if the Internet access was all right yet. I said, "No." She said, "You could go to the Internet now. I replied, "I could try." Then she said, "What you just said is wrong. Are you a human being? Why do you have to try? A divine being can do whatever he wants. Go ahead. We can access the internet." With that practitioner's righteous thought, my heart was filled with righteous thoughts. Then I turned on Freegate. We sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to strengthen us, as we did not succeed the first time. The second time we were able to access the Internet quickly.
During the next two days the internet access was smooth, until two days ago. I was anxious again, so I decided not to go on the Internet, but to read Zhuan Falun. I waited until I felt calm to try, but I was still unsuccessful.
Yesterday afternoon, another practitioner came to see me and brought Teacher's new lecture, "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006." We started making copies of the new lecture. One of the other practitioners said that if that practitioner had not brought us the new lecture, we would not have known about it at all. I said that I had tried my best to access the Internet but failed. The practitioner asked, "How were you able to before? Important information can not be uploaded because of this."
When I was about to defend myself, I remembered that Teacher told us not to argue with others. I did not say anything but thought, "You don't understand, the Internet blockade has been much too bad lately, I want to download the information, too, but there is nothing I can do."
The practitioner continued, "I have communication with the machines every time I am printing materials." I tell them that we are doing something holy, so please cooperate and that they would enter the new universe in the future. I also ask Teacher to strengthen me to avoid being disturbed during my work, and to let people with predestined relationships see the materials and be saved.
I was shocked and realized that my starting point in the situation of the past few days was wrong. I was validating myself because I had the skills and I used them to do some work to validate the Fa. Slowly I developed the heart of validating myself and took the holy work as an opportunity of validating myself. That is why I felt frustrated and helpless like an ordinary person, and felt offended when criticized by others. My mindset was not like that of a practitioner when I was able to access the Internet a few days ago. Teacher had helped me because of my righteous thoughts. I did not try to be diligent, but rather behaved like an ordinary person who was happy to be gaining and upset at not gaining. When the Internet problems recurred, I read the Fa, but actually I was reading it to solve my problems, and in turn, for validating myself, and I was afraid that others might think I was useless. In such a situation, Teacher arranged another practitioner to deliver the new lecture to us in order for the fellow practitioners to have the chance to read it.
A while later, the practitioner said to me again, "You should retrieve the information."
The first time she said it, I did not pay attention. When she repeated it, I realized that it must be Teacher using her mouth to speak to me. So I turned on the computer, clicked on Freegate, and of course I was able to access the Internet. Then I started scrolling the front page of www.minghui.org. The title of a practitioner's article caught my eye. "Breaking Through the Internet Blockade does not Merely Depend on Skills." This helped me understand more.
Through this recent experience, I feel more of the greatness and mercifulness of Teacher. Teacher is always with us. As long as we have righteous thoughts, Teacher will help us.
I am writing about my experience to share with those practitioners who depend merely on skills, after working for too long on just skills, as I did, we should let go of the attachment to self. We should treat this issue properly. We are only using ordinary people's skills. If we are not attached to skills and apply righteous thoughts to the work, our Buddha nature will play the leading role, and the Internet blockade will be broken automatically.
The above is my understanding. Please point out anything not in line with the Fa and let's improve together.