(Clearwisdom.net) In 1995, after I finished reading Zhuan Falun, I understood that this was the true cultivation way. Thus I decided to follow this path of cultivation.
Because I still had a lot of attachments and studied the Fa with the attitude of an intellectual, my understanding of the Fa was limited. I understood a little and on a superficial level. Although I tried very hard to study the Fa, I did not progress.
In 1999, the evil forces started the persecution. Since my understanding of Dafa was not deep and I was not steady in my cultivation, in the face of this sudden persecution, I did not know what to do. Although in my heart I knew that Dafa was righteous and should not be persecuted, I did not have a clear understanding of the nature of the persecution and the reasons for it. I did not know whether I should suffer and tolerate it or whether I should resist and protest it. I also did not understand the relationship between a cultivator and a non-practitioner. Thus, for a long time after the start of the persecution, although I still had faith in Dafa, I did not know what to do about it.
With this kind of mindset and enlightenment quality, and not knowing what I should do, I could only follow the example of others. When I saw what other practitioners did, I followed them. I was easily influenced by others and could not find the fundamentals. Following their example, I went to Beijing to appeal. I saw that other practitioners wrote letters and articles, so I did the same. When I saw that others gave in under pressure, I did also. I took a very long detour. I was monitored at home for almost two years. I was also sentenced to imprisonment and detained for five years.
The fortunate thing is that Dafa has been deeply rooted in my heart. This faith can no longer be shaken by any external force. Thus, even though I faced the cruelest persecuted and the most cunning lies, my faith in Dafa did not waver. While I was being persecuted, I frequently asked myself, "If I were the only one cultivating Dafa, would I still cultivate?" My answer was positive. I also frequently asked myself, "If the whole world is not in favor of Dafa, would I still cultivate?" My answer was also positive. I also asked myself, "If during the cultivation of Dafa, all the good things that I experienced in my body disappeared, would I still cultivate?" My answer was also positive. This is because the faith I have in Dafa is rational. It is not based on my feelings. I also asked myself, "If I had to lose all that I have in this world because I cultivate Dafa, am I willing?" My answer was also positive. This is because nothing can be compared to the joy of obtaining Dafa. Nothing can be compared to the pain of losing Dafa.
Thus, despite terrible conditions, I will never give up studying the Fa, I will not leave Dafa. In the beginning, I once had a few days when I said to myself, "Forget it, let's not cultivate." After thinking about it, for those few days I felt that my life was filled with emptiness and desperation. It is really hard to describe what that felt like. That suffering was more painful that any other. Thus, no persecution will be able to make a practitioner waver in his faith in Dafa.
I have studied and memorized the Fa and gradually gained a deeper understanding of Dafa. I also gained a deeper understanding of the nature of the persecution and the reasons behind it. I also gained a better understanding of the behavior and attitudes of the people in the world toward the persecution. During these calm reflections, I also realized the many shortcomings that I had and gradually came to know what should be done.
When I experienced tribulations, others thought that I had suffered a lot of hardships and that I had lost a lot. However, I did not feel that I suffered or lost much. Instead, I felt that I gained many things. What I gained is what the people of the world cannot get. In my heart there was no resentment and no regrets. On the contrary, I felt more and more cheerful and down to earth.
Under Master's care and protection, I managed to leave the evil's den. After I finished reading the articles written by Master during the years I was imprisoned, I understood more. I seriously reflected on my past. I was no longer eager to prove myself and get results. Instead, I wanted to be calm and clear-headed and to walk the path in the future with steady steps. I wanted to really differentiate between what is real and false. I wanted to enlighten from Dafa directly, to directly follow Dafa to do things, and to walk my own path of validating Dafa.
When I first got out of jail, I lost my job. My wife wanted to divorce me. The pressures from family and society were enormous. The things that I had learned in the past were not suitable or useful for helping me to look for a job. I then based what I did on the faith I have in Dafa, and my heart was still optimistic. I thought, "Since Master has arranged the life of a practitioner, He will naturally arrange for food and lodging and will not let his practitioner go hungry and be homeless. What is there to be afraid of?"
I found an old classmate, and he recommended me for a job. The pay is okay, but the hours are long. I accepted this job and quickly acquired the computer knowledge that I had missed out on. In the new work environment, I am basically the only person cultivating. This is different from the group study environment that I was used to. I persisted in my Fa study and tried my best to balance the relationship between my job and doing the three things. I very quickly learned how to access the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and the other overseas websites hosted by practitioners. I read the experience sharing articles written by fellow practitioners. This is very helpful for me in keeping up with the pace of Fa-rectification. It's a pity that I lost five years.
I slowly started to learn how to clarify the truth to people near me. I learned how to send mail to clarify the truth. I also learned how to write articles to clarify the truth and expose the crimes of the evil persons.
Being an intellectual, I always felt that all the knowledge that I had acquired in the past was not in vain and not without a reason. All is for the sake of validating the Fa and saving sentient beings If this were not the case, these accomplishments would be meaningless.
I gradually figured out a way to make use of my knowledge and strengths to validate Dafa. I started to write down my understandings of everything after I learned Dafa. I wrote down my understandings of philosophy, of Science, of prophecies, of society, of the Chinese Communist Party, and of the attitudes of the people in the world. I used many different means of communication to spread my writings. I did it as my duty to save sentient beings.
I deeply know that everything I did was not because I am very capable. All these were endowed to me by Dafa. In the face of Dafa, I am nothing. If I leave Dafa, everything is meaningless. What I am doing is not just the literature and activities of the people of the world, I am using my strengths and knowledge to help Master spread the Fa to the people of the world.
As Fa-rectification has progressed, my work environment and relationships with others have also changed. I have a larger stage for movement, and I can reach more people. I have won the respect of more people. My life has also improved. I know deeply that this is Master's arrangement to bring more people with predestined relationships to meet me. I am supposed to offer to save them. I am supposed to do more things and save more people and to be more efficient. All of the world's people are in front of Dafa practitioners. Isn't this the time for "eight deities cross the sea, each displaying his magical powers?"
Now in my heart, there is no concept of difficulty. I can only see a wide path in front of me. I now understand why Master said that Dafa practitioners play the leading role in this era and have the greatest responsibilities. Besides Master, we cannot rely on anyone. Instead, we are the ones they count on. I feel more and more the heavy responsibility on my shoulders. I feel more and more that I should be rational and do the things I should do steadily. I cannot make any mistakes. If I do, I will have let Master down, let down the sentient beings who have expectations of us, and let myself down.
After walking the cultivation path for 12 years, I have gradually become insensitive to the change of seasons and weather and immune to the glory and gains of the world. I have also gradually lost the sense of myself. There is only this duty in my heart that I have yet to fulfill, a wish that I have yet to fulfill, and I am only thinking of the world's people who are being poisoned by the lies and who have yet to be awakened to the truth. If there is anything else in my heart, it is usually a wisp of smoke that drifts across my heart occasionally.
Twelve years of validating the Fa has proven that Dafa is great and cannot be undermined. Although I have cultivated for this long and braved many tribulations and difficulties (which have not left any memories), what has stayed in my heart and increased is the brightness and steadiness that Dafa has brought. I did not give up during the cruelest persecution; instead Dafa made me stronger and wiser and more capable. Dafa helped to create a broad path for me. As long as I follow Dafa closely, all the tribulations and difficulties are only passing things, like soap bubbles.