(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young Dafa practitioner. I obtained the Fa in 1997 and have been cultivating Dafa with an open tianmu (third eye). During the period of personal cultivation, I didn't cultivate myself well and deviated from cultivation. However, Dafa was always in my heart and it was a real existence that I didn't forget about. After I came back to cultivate Dafa again, I didn't fall into the trap of regretting all the time. Since Master was benevolent and saved me again, I made a secret pledge that I would keep up with Master's process of Fa-rectification.
At the end of 2004, Practitioner A came to my home to persuade me to withdraw from the CCP, but I was not at home at that time. After I got home, my mother told me why the practitioner had come to visit me. I went to the practitioner's home immediately. When I got there, practitioners A and B were studying the Fa together. Seeing them, I told them about my pain of leaving Dafa with my eyes full of tears. They asked me if I wanted to write a solemn statement using my real name. I wrote the statement then and there and quit the CCP.
After my husband learned that I had gone to the practitioner's home, he shouted and quarreled with me. I told him with firm determination that it was impossible to keep me from cultivating again. My husband didn't talk to me for a whole week. Because I wanted to be a qualified disciple of Master, I would not budge. When he went to work, I went to practitioners' homes to study the Fa and share experiences. Practitioners showed me a copy of "Minghui Weekly". I maintained strict standards for myself. I made an effort to study the Fa, cultivate my heart, send forth righteous thoughts, and clear out my home environment. I burned all our CCP books and pictures.
After the Chinese New Year my husband went to another city to work. Of course it was Master's mercy and His benevolent arrangement so that I could see fellow practitioners and participate in group Fa study more, thus improving in the Fa.
The first time we gave out the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklets, we only put a few in the corridor of a building. One day I went to a practitioner's home for Fa study. Practitioners there didn't want me to know a particular thing. I understood that they were trying to be responsible to the Fa. I was about to leave with Zhuan Falun in my hand. Practitioner C said to me, "Since you have come, here is something for you to do. We have transported a batch of the Nine Commentaries booklets and are discussing where to put them." I said, "If you trust me, you can put them in my home." Practitioner C said, "We can't even get a car to transport them." I replied, "I can borrow a tricycle from my mother." So Practitioner C and I transported the Nine Commentaries by tricycle to my home. A month passed but nobody came to take the booklets. In group Fa study we shared and decided to put the Nine Commentaries into plastic bags with pamphlets and VCDs to tell people the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution and then distribute them in the city. We would also go to the countryside to give them out.
Practitioner D and I came from the same village and knew the streets of our village very well. We asked a practitioner taxi driver to take us there. There were two rows of houses. Practitioner C and I were in charge of the front row and practitioners B and D the back row. We didn't have much experience in distributing materials at that time. We only put VCDs in the houses in the back row and not the front. Several days later we went back to clarify the facts to the recipients. People in the front row said to us, "We were less favored because we didn't get a single VCD. People in the back row all got them, even the retarded fellow. I wanted one but he didn't give it to me. He said he would give it to his auntie in another village. We had to borrow it from a family that we have a good relationship with and then had to return it." Most of the people who had read or seen the truth-clarifying materials understood the truth. It was easier for us to ask them to withdraw from the CCP. In some families, several members withdrew from the CCP.
The second time we did this, we looked at how many families there were before we put out the materials, and we gave out a wider variety of materials.
We compiled the Nine Commentaries booklets in Practitioner B's home during the day and I put them into bags at my home during the night. Practitioner B put the materials behind the door and covered them with sacks if I had visitors at my home. I looked behind the door before I went to bed every night. Two practitioners from another Fa study group also came to my home to get the Nine Commentaries booklets. For security reasons, we didn't say anything about the booklets to practitioners who were not involved. Many practitioners who distributed the booklets didn't know that they came from my home. Sometimes they returned unused booklets and I would put them back into the big pile.
After we finished distributing materials in the villages that we knew well, we went to villages a hundred miles away. Previously, practitioners had prepared to go to such villages for a whole week but didn't make it. This time we got a car and were ready. It was very cloudy at 7 p.m. when practitioners were sending forth righteous thoughts. The practitioner driver came in and asked us if we would still go if it rained. I said, "To save sentient beings we disregard the weather. The weather forecast will not be accurate. The rain will not fall until people pick up the materials." We sent forth righteous thoughts all the way to our destination. We distributed materials in groups of two. It started to rain a bit after we finished distributing materials, then we sent forth righteous thoughts sitting in the cornfield. The rain then stopped and we stood up and continued heading home. Early the next morning we took the first bus home at the village government compound. As soon as we got onto the bus, it started to pour. When we got off the bus in the town center, the rain stopped for half an hour, then it rained all day. We knew that it was the power of Dafa and that Master was regulating everything. Master was encouraging us.
My family changed a great deal after I joined the current of saving sentient beings. My husband went to another city to work, leaving me at home with our ten-year-old daughter. We lived in a small, one-story flat. I locked my daughter inside when I went out to distribute materials at night. Early the next morning I returned home and sent my daughter to school. It worked out very well, and my daughter was never late for school. Sometimes she would wake up at night and discover that I hadn't come back yet. She washed her hands and burned incense for Master and made a wish that Master would bless me and let me come home safe and sound. Then she went to bed again. She didn't cultivate but still believed that Falun Dafa was good and that Dafa allowed her, a person that suffered from heart disease and was in despair, to become healthy again. One morning I was cooking in the kitchen when she ran to me and said, "Mom, I had a miraculous dream. In the dream somebody picked up my heart and scraped off the bloodstain on the heart with a knife. I shouted to him to give me back my heart or else I would die. He ignored me and continued scraping until my heart was clean. Then he put it back into my chest. After I woke up it was no longer hard to breathe. The top of my chest didn't tremble anymore. Mom, please feel here." I touched her, and she was right, there was no trembling. I couldn't hold back my tears at the time and couldn't express my gratitude to Master with words. I told my daughter that Master had saved her because she helped me distribute materials and save sentient beings. Before, I always sent her to school on a bicycle. Her teacher was very afraid that she would fall ill again and had her sit by herself instead of sharing a desk with another classmate to reduce the chances of her getting ill. Nor did she take part in gym class. After that dream she could walk to school by herself.
Six months later my husband came home suddenly. I was not home at the time. My daughter told him how she supported me distributing materials and how she had recovered from her heart disease. I returned home as usual at the time when my daughter finished school. I heard her happy laughter at the door. As soon as I came into the flat, I saw my husband. I was very nervous but I adjusted myself immediately. I thought to myself, "I am a Dafa disciple heading toward godhood. Making truth-clarifying materials is to save sentient beings and we are doing the most righteous thing in this universe. Nobody has the right to go against it." He said to me happily, "Our daughter has told me all about it. I am a person with conscience. Each year we have spent thousands of yuan on her medical expenses but she was still not cured. You practice Falun Gong, and she benefits. I came back specifically for her. The special prescription I have here is now useless. Dafa saved my daughter. You can do whatever you want to from now on. I will help you if you are too busy. Your Master is so great!" Ever since then, fellow practitioners have been able to come to my home at any time. My husband often helped me deliver materials in his car. He told everyone that he met that Falun Dafa was good and was also was very willing to spend paper money with phrases written on it telling people of the truth about Falun Gong. Every time friends and family got together, we brought Nine Commentaries booklets with us. He helped to persuade people to withdraw from the CCP.
Before, my husband drank heavily, and he would get drunk every time. Then he would throw things and swear until he was too tired and fell asleep. Now when friends and family get together, he only drinks one glass of beer and is no longer interested in gambling. He is a totally different person.
"We teach salvation of both ourselves and others, as well as of all beings. Thus, Falun can save oneself by turning inward and save others by turning outward. While turning outward, it gives off energy and can benefit others. This way, within your energy-covering field others will benefit, and they may feel very comfortable." (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun).
The power of Master's Fa changed him.
One day I went to Practitioner A's home to listen to Master's lectures in MP3 audio form. When Master said something in the Dalian Lecture, I saw the same thing. When Master said that de (virtue) was a white substance, I realized that the substance flying around and growing in my dimensional field was de. I also saw my golden immortal infant sitting in the golden lotus flower with hands conjoined. The golden petals were flashing open and closing, stretching to the shoulder of the immortal. Master was encouraging me. Every time I lied in bed after I distributed materials, I could see the scenes in other dimensions and saw Master transforming my karma into de and gong. The gong flew atop my gong pillar. The whole process was magnificent and miraculous. I felt very comfortable in every cell of my body and felt very light.
For years I never felt sleepy when I studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts. Whenever I was in danger in my dreams, I would send forth righteous thoughts immediately. Sometimes I didn't know the things I saw with my tianmu, but I recognized them after memorizing the Fa. I was faithful about studying three lectures of Zhuan Falun every day. When I read Zhuan Falun, I gave it my full attention and absorbed every word. In addition, I also read one of Master's recent articles or lectures. In this way, cultivation of xinxing was guaranteed, and I could also keep up with the process of Fa-rectification. Whenever I came across tribulations, I looked inward to see where I was not in line with the Fa. If I dug out the root correctly, a warm current of energy would flow over my body.
With tianmu opened, I had to go through special tests and had to rationally treat it so as to correctly balance the relationship among Dafa, practitioners and myself. I had to take the Fa as my guide in doing the three things. I always kept a calm and kind mindset towards everyone. Many practitioners came to share with me. Before they came, I would know their state: failing to keep up their xinxing, having fear, strong lust and desires, not practicing the exercises, being absent-minded in studying the Fa, slacking off in sending forth righteous thoughts, failing to keep up with the process of Fa-rectification, only doing one or two things instead of three things, etc. I didn't say anything to whoever came to me. Nor did I tell other practitioners. I only kindly pointed out their shortcomings and told them what I was enlightened to at my level. No matter how dirty the person's thought karma was, I didn't look down upon him or her.
Some practitioners had sickness karma for a long time and wanted me to have a look for them. I then would read to them the following sentence regarding improvement of xinxing from Zhaun Falun: "One must truly practice cultivation and pay attention to one's xinxing. Only by truly practicing cultivation can one's illness be eliminated." Some practitioners wanted to know the pre-destined relationship among family members. I would point out kindly to them that they should not pursue and even if they knew, it counted as nothing. I often shared with them on how to do the three things well.
For years, as long as something was related to the Fa, I harmonized it. If practitioners who had material centers at home had nowhere to live, I paid attention to where there was a vacant flat. With Master's help, we could always quickly find a place. If practitioners from the countryside had nowhere to go, they would come to my home. If more people were needed to go to the countryside to distribute materials, I would find someone or I would go myself. Even if I had already given out materials the whole previous night, I would go if nobody else went. I didn't feel tired. Sometimes too many practitioners came to my home and bothered my husband's sleep. One day he said that he was a coordinator not in our plan. Though at the time I was not angry, I said some harsh words to him. As soon as I left home, I fell down and my palm became swollen instantly. I sat down and looked inward. I remembered Master's words: "We have also said that if every one of us cultivates his inner self, examines his own xinxing to look for the causes of wrongdoing so as to do better next time, and considers others first when taking any action, human society would become better and ethical standards would again rise." (Zhuan Falun). Usually I didn't have attachments to fame and interest, but at the microscopic level I still had that attachment. As soon as someone touched on this attachment, I couldn't take it and would argue with the person. By looking inward, I cultivated it out so it wouldn't happen again.
One practitioner who was enlightened on an evil path for seven years came to my home with a veteran practitioner with a mentality of looking for something exotic. At the beginning, due to an attachment to lust and desire, she fell down in cultivation. She had never gotten over it. This is what she thought: if she continued practicing, she was afraid that the Fa was not the real Fa and she would have lost too many human things; if she stopped cultivation, she was afraid that if the Fa was the real one, she would lose the opportunity that comes once in a million years. I told her about my experience of returning to cultivation, the magnificence of other dimensions, and the manifestation of the Buddha Fa's divine power in the Fa-rectification period. Before she came, I got her message, which was shown to me like a videotape playing what she had done before. I told her, "That man was once a cultivator. Because he was not cultivating in the Fa, he was taken advantage of by the demon of lust. Dark minions and rotten demons wanted to destroy him completely in this regard. He dragged you in. Was it worth stopping cultivation because of him? As long as you come back to cultivate, you will catch up." Master said: "'When one's Buddha-nature emerges, it will shake "the world of ten directions."' Whoever sees it will come to give a hand and help this person out unconditionally." (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun) She wrote a statement solemnly declaring her previous actions were null and void and that she would resume practicing Falun Dafa and walk well her future path. Making use of her current work situation, she collected many contact details of the CCP's government organizations and personnel. Other practitioners write letters to them or put the phone numbers of the evildoers and guards that participate in persecuting practitioners on the website so that overseas practitioners can make phone calls to them to help re-establish a good cultivation environment. Influenced by other practitioners, she started to go to group Fa study.
Six months later, she came to my home again with a sense of achievement. She told me about her cultivation experiences. At that time her attachment to lust and desire was reflected on me. She still had a secret connection with the man in question. I pointed it out in a calm and peaceful tone. She also mentioned that the deviated notions she had formed in childhood were deep in her bones. She expressed her determination to change. I told her how I cultivated out the desire. "In ordinary human society, because of this marital life, humankind can produce its descendants." (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun). From Master's Fa I enlightened that I already had a child and had no need to produce further descendants, so sexual relations served no purpose and I shouldn't participate in them anymore. My husband didn't cultivate, so I had a discussion with him. The reason that those monks and Taoists in remote mountains and forests could live to be over one hundred years old was that they abandoned women. My husband agreed with this theory. I took good care of my husband in everyday life and made him feel that sexual life was something you could either take or leave. Every day he was energetic at work. We hadn't had relations for over two years, but we still lived in harmony. I thought that as long as your xinxing improved and you enlightened to the Fa principle, it was not hard to put it into action. Moreover, Master did remind us, "Those people find it difficult because they cannot let go of these things." (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun). I also told her about the interference I experienced when trying to help her. In my dream that man came to me and said, "I will eat your face because you take her away from me." He opened his bloody big mouth and dashed towards me. A gust of bloody odor engulfed me. I erected my palm and sent forth righteous thoughts immediately and then woke up. The next day my whole face felt as if it had been burned with boiling water. The whole morning I sent forth righteous thoughts until noon when my face became well again. Since then she has let go of this foul relationship that she had found so hard to relinquish.
I also went to visit a practitioner with sickness karma and shared with him from the perspective of the Fa. When I came home after sending forth righteous thoughts with the practitioner, many practitioners found fault with me and said that I had treated that practitioner's disease and also hinted that I had demonic interference from my own mind. I didn't defend myself too much at the time and thought that they would know what I had said and done after they met with that practitioner. Master's law body knew everything and I didn't need to explain to them with a human heart. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors that separated practitioners and dissolved the evil elements. When practitioners came to my home again, they acted like nothing had ever happened and didn't mention it again.
I often regarded practitioners as a mirror that could reflect my shortcomings and I would cultivate them out and also reflect on the merits that practitioners had and I would follow them as well. "Let each and every thing be measured against the Fa. Only then, with that, is it actually cultivation." ( "Solid Cultivation" in "Hongyin") Every day on my way to work I brought with me sticky posters. I put them up as I walked. I told those who walked in the same direction as me the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution, tried to persuade them to withdraw from the CCP and told them that Falun Dafa is good and that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. Every day I put cultivation and saving sentient beings as my first priority and put everyday things as second, and work and life never went wrong.
If practitioners didn't remind me and encourage me to write an article for this Fahui, I would always feel that I was far from the standard that Master requires us to achieve. Actually this was a passive attitude. I should cultivate myself if I think I am far behind in cultivation. Writing an experience sharing article is also a process of cultivation and for xinxing improvement. Though I have done what a Dafa practitioner should do on my way to godhood and many divine miracles have been demonstrated, it was actually the demonstration of the power and mighty virtue of Dafa.
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Heshi