I Would Rather Die If I Cannot Practice Falun Dafa

January 13, 2000

"I started hunger strike as soon as I got arrested on the afternoon of October 12, 1999 to protest the government's injustice against Falun Dafa. On October 15, I was sent to the first detention center of Shijiazhuang City. On October 19, the seventh day of my hunger strike, the detention center started to forced-feed me with fluid food such as milk and vegetable soup by plugging a plastic pipe into my stomach. I still refused to have food. (Practitioner Wei Huang was also on hunger strike. The detention center also forced-fed him everyday.) One day, the nurse did not unplug the pipe for me for her convenience. The pipe was very hard. At noon, many parts of my body started to swell. At night, my face, nose, throat and esophagus were all swollen. I looked terrible. I felt extremely painful. My cellmates all cried. At 12pm in the night, I felt my throat had swollen to become blocked. It became very difficult for me to breathe, and my face became green and had 140 heartbeats per minute. I felt I was dying and then I wrote a note telling a cellmate who took care of me, "Please tell my family members not to feel sad for me because I die for Falun Dafa." She was afraid that I was to die, so she reported my situation to the cell head. The cell head then reported to the officials in the detention center. The head of the detention center came with two armed police officers and a doctor. After a check-up, they took the pipe off me. My nose was full of blood. I had only one thought at that time, "I feel so happy to die for Falun Dafa.". On the second day, they continue to forced-feed me. Because the swelling had not gone down, I was tearful due to the extreme pain when they fed me. The nurse could not stand up and cried. She said, "What's wrong with you? Others try to live by resorting to all means while you would rather die. I feel very angry at you." The head also said, "I have been in the detention center for so many years. It is the first time I meet a person whose will is so strong." I could not speak and just patted the hands of that nurse. Each time after they fed me, I would thank them. They actually liked me very much. This time, I had been on hunger strike for 13 days, two days less than Wei Huang. It was even more difficult for them to feed him. At one time, the pipe could not been plug for a long time. This time, the detention center felt very stressful about our hunger strike.

Later, I started to practice Falun Gong in the public. I was immediately reported to a secretary in the detention center. The secretary talked to me for a few times with both kind words and threats. She said I could practice after 11pm. I did not agree with her. I thought, "I won't come here if I am afraid. I would just let people know that some people are still practicing Falun Dafa." The secretary then said I would affect her bonus and her award. I said, "Our teacher is wanted by the government and practitioners all over the country are being persecuted. How could I not stand out just for your bonus and award?" The secretary became extremely angry with me and pulled me down from the bed. She let me stand outside the door until the lunchtime. At that time, I had only one sweater on. She asked me again, "Tell me now you will not practice Falun Gong." I told her that I had only two roads to take, one is to practice Falun Gong, and the other one is to give up my life. She again threatened me that she would shut down our cell, which meant that all my cellmates could not be visited and therefore could not receive things from their families. Then they would hate and punish me. I said, "It is up to you." However, she did not shut down our cell on the next day. Nobody continued to bother me. Later the head of the detention center called my name in the meeting and said that I would be reported to the Court to increase my sentence. I felt very happy that by then other fellow practitioners could know me. Zhu Hong, a fellow practitioner detained next to me was also punished for practicing Falun Gong and introducing Falun Gong to her cellmates. She did not give in either. Later she was transferred to aother place. Rong-xin Duan is also detained here. I wrote a letter to him telling him some situations outside the detention center and encourage him. His status is very good. I gave him a copy of "Hong Yin" (a collection of poems by the founder of Falun Gong) and several articles. Yan Ding is next to me. She is great. They give me a lot of encouragements..."