(Clearwisdom.net)
I have often asked myself, "As a Fa-rectification disciple, do I feel guilty in my heart?"
Especially when I read Teacher's encouraging words and praises, "Dafa practitioners are outstanding and great!" I would feel terribly guilty in my heart. I felt guilty for not having done a good job in cultivation; I felt guilty for not being able to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts peacefully; I felt sorry for not being able to clarify the truth in a more compassionate way; I felt upset for not being able to pass cultivation tests while still being attached to many human ways of thinking ...
The closer to the end, the more attachments I could feel, the more anxious I felt in my heart, the more sadness I would feel. Would Teacher be very disappointed in me? Is Teacher still taking care of me?
Finally one day when I was doing the sitting meditation, I suddenly felt that my whole body was empty; nothing was there. I was totally emerged in a kind of energy and I was even levitating! When I realized that I was levitating, which I had never experienced before, tears came to my eyes. I was so touched. I said to myself, "Teacher has never given up on me and Teacher has always been taking care of me!"
I suddenly enlightened to this: After all, I had understood Teacher in a human way! Although I was once confused, sad, and not diligent in cultivation, Teacher never gave up on me. Teacher was always encouraging me every time, giving me clues and protecting me. How compassionate Teacher has always been! If I still cannot do well in cultivation and still am pessimistic, how can I face Teacher's benevolent salvation and boundless mercy?!
I know now: In order to do well and to live up to the title "Fa-Rectification Dafa Disciple", to be deserving of the highest honor that Teacher has offered to us, to be worthy of the expectation and waiting of all beings, to be worthy of my own oath and tremendous wish of the past, I should transform my guilty feeling to no guilt through action; only in such a way do we deserve these words of Teacher, "Dafa practitioners are outstanding and great!"
If we can achieve "no guilty feeling from the heart", it may also be a kind of highest state of cultivation. In the Chinese language, the character for "guilty" is based on the meaning of "ulterior motive." If we always do things above board and clear-headedly, we are naturally in the cultivation state of "no guilty feeling from the heart."
