(Minghui.org) I was born in the countryside and am the oldest of four daughters. My mother had a vile temper and used to whip me daily. The whippings lasted about an hour each time, leaving me black and blue. I was afraid to talk to her and didn’t even dare call her “mother.” Despite how she treated me, I never resented her. I tried to help everyone and always looked at myself when I saw other people doing bad things. For the life of me, though, I could not understand why everything had to be so difficult. At night, I cried under the covers, but dared not make a sound for fear of incurring my mother’s wrath.
I had frequent bouts with colds, but I never told my mother or asked to take a day off from school. Since no one would take care of me, I worried about becoming seriously ill. After school, instead of playing with my classmates, I bought groceries, then went home to wash dishes and vegetables and carry buckets of water. When I was 14, the four of us kids were still sleeping one morning when my mother burst into our room and started whipping me. I cried and tried to get away, but the whipping continued and lasted close to an hour. My home was by the street, and a crowd gathered. People knocked on the window, signaling for my mother to stop, but she ignored them. Eventually, I broke free and ran out. I crawled into a small side door at a company next to my home and stayed there past 4 p.m. I was hungry and went to the front office, where a kind old man brought me a bowl of hot water and a steamed bun. I was so grateful that I vowed to remember him for the rest of my life.
My father often went away on business trips and was rarely home. My mother stopped beating me when he was around, but she would constantly fight with him and demand a divorce. My father spoke very little, and I was afraid of him. I prayed for him to come home so my mother wouldn’t hit me. I wanted to grow up quickly so I could leave home.
Because of the abuse, I was introverted and isolated as a child. I got married at 23, hoping to never see my mother again. But as life would have it, we lived in the same building. I also worked at the same place as my father, who happened to be my supervisor. He reprimanded me all the time because I did things my own way. I was reliable but stubborn. When I was a child, I longed for a perfect family, but my husband was a gambler and he attend gaming parties into the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes he would not come home for an entire week. During his absence, I sat there weeping and waited for him. My countless attempts to rectify his behavior fell on deaf ears. We argued and fought all the time. He was arrested a few times and given heavy fines. I was sick with heart disease, stiff shoulder(s), rhinitis, pharyngitis, and rheumatoid arthritis. I was hospitalized a few times a year and had to take a lot of medication, both Chinese and Western.
Then, after having lived in misery for over 30 years, my life was suddenly transformed. In March 1999, I discovered that my mother and a group of friends were going to the countryside to attend a meeting of Falun Gong practitioners, so I went with them. It was held at a practitioner’s home, and many people were there. As I listened to their stories, I was deeply moved.
When I went home, I borrowed a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. I was awestruck by how profound and concise the book was. I read it in one night and realized this book teaches people how to be good. I had some questions, so I read it for the second time and they were answered. By this time, I realized this was a divine book, so I read it for the third time, and it dawned on me this is a book about cultivation, as secrets [closely guarded in the past] were explained in the book. I held the book and said to Master in my heart, “Master, I want to cultivate. Please give me a Falun and all the mechanisms for cultivation.” As this thought emerged, I immediately felt my lower abdomen swelling up, as if someone were putting things in me via a tube. I clearly felt Falun spinning in my lower abdomen.
I borrowed the book The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa and taught myself the first exercise, “Buddha Showing a Thousand Hands” by looking at my movements in a mirror. When I stretched, I felt like someone who had been tied up for a long time, with all the ropes suddenly coming loose. I was set free. My body was instantly light. [I realized] humans are restrained by gods, and Dafa helps us reach divinity. All the illnesses that had bothered me for decades quickly disappeared.
I found Master and Falun Dafa and learned that the purpose of life is to return to one’s original, true self. I will follow Master’s teaching and return home with him. Now I devote all of my free time to studying Dafa books. I try to remember all the teachings, completely assimilate into the Fa, and measure my conduct according to Dafa’s standards. Master said,
“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (“Genuinely Guiding People Toward High Levels,” Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I look to the Fa and find attachments in myself all the time. I feel terrible when I recall doing things in the past that have hurt others.
Master said:
“You should always maintain a heart of compassion and kindness. Then, when you run into a problem, you will be able to do well because it gives you room to buffer the confrontation. You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything. Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems. Therefore, in cultivation practice you should follow a higher and higher standard for yourself. (“Upgrading Xinxing,” Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I try to live up to this standard and cultivate compassion.
Master said:
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability.”(“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I try to remove my selfishness and attachment to self-interest. As a result, I no longer feel any pain, and my heart is filled with happiness. I sense I am being enfolded by vast compassion and want to smile and help everyone. Sometimes when I see people fighting and arguing, with their faces flushed and filled with bitterness, I feel deeply sad because it’s such an exhausting way to live.
Several days into my practice, I started watching Master’s lecture videos for the first time and saw Master’s law bodies flying out of the television. I also witnessed golden pavilions and pagodas, golden trees, rivers, and changing scenery. On the 11th day, I felt as if I were flying upward as I walked. Within a month, a large eye [in another dimension] appeared between my eyebrows. This was my celestial eye. One day after Fa study, I saw a beautiful river in the sky with two people floating on a raft. One of them paddled the boat as it took a turn near a small village with golden wheat along the banks. On two other occasions, I saw a bustling and amazing city. A month later, eyes appeared on the bridge of my nose, above and below my eyelids, and inside my eyes. Two months later, 20 or 30 eyes filled my face, and I also became clairvoyant.
One day when I was studying Zhuan Falun, I saw innumerable Buddhas, Daos, and gods behind every paragraph. Master mentioned this phenomenon during lectures, but I used to have doubts because I studied with human notions. This time I saw it with my own eyes. Now I know everything Master says is true. The more I study, the more I love Dafa and the more I feel the profoundness and awe-inspiring power of Dafa [also called “Buddha Fa”]. I experienced the harmony of tolerating things that are hard to bear for other people. I also realized the exercise music is a divine melody from high above, calling for my return. The more I listen, the more I love the music, and the more I love doing the exercises. My body is surrounded by energy that circulates all over, and my body feels incredibly large. I also feel the beauty of selflessness.
Dafa taught me that people reincarnate over and over and that the hardships I encounter in this life are the result of bad things I did in a previous life, so I must endure and repay those debts. The resentment I used to harbor disappeared completely, and I no longer hate my parents for abusing and neglecting me when I was a child. I started calling my mother “mom,” and I cook delicious food and bring it to my parents. When my mother became ill, I carried her up and down the stairs at the hospital for her exams. During Chinese New Year, my family always go to our parents-in-law’s home, and everyone in their family fights for food. I now make sure my parents-in-law have their food first, and then I fill my sisters’ bowls. If there is nothing left, I find something else to eat. I wash curtains and bedsheets for my mother-in-law. I also realized for the first time that our neighbor across the hall had been sweeping the common area on our floor for years, and we never did, so I started sweeping the floor. I try to conduct myself according to Master’s standard for a good person.
Master said:
“People are saying nowadays that women are becoming more and more liberal and their personalities are getting stronger. In fact, you aren’t being driven by your kind (Shan) side. I don’t think strength is necessarily reflected in a person’s outward expression. If in your daily life you’re like a gentle, true woman, your competence will let you have everything you deserve all the same. You don’t necessarily have to express yourself in tough and manly ways to obtain those things. Do you understand what I’m getting at? (Applause) In other words, if you’re a woman, you must act like one, and be kind and gentle. Only then can you gain respect and love from men.”(“Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference,” New York, March 27–28, 1999)
Upon reading this lecture, I reflected on my behavior and realized I always tried to change my husband and dominate him. I argued and fought with him and was not gentle or kind, and that is why I could not get his respect or love. On the one hand I wanted him to “man up,” but in my heart I wanted to walk over him. When Master pointed this out, I decided to be a gentle and kind woman, and I started speaking to him quietly. In time our relationship changed, and divorce no longer came up as it did during our previous arguments. Even though my husband still gets drunk and comes home late at night, I don’t get angry anymore. I now serve him fruit and treat him kindly. I feel bad for him that he is so self-destructive and wasting his precious life. Sometimes, I kindly advise him to read Dafa materials, hoping that he can truly live for himself and take responsibility for his own future. I am no longer attached to whether he is good to me.
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting Falun Gong four months after I began practicing. I felt terrible when I watched the lies on TV. Sometimes I talk to my co-workers and clarify the truth about Falun Gong. I continue to study the Fa and do the exercises and have proved to everyone that Dafa is wonderful. I get to work 30 minutes early to clean the office and stairwell. I voluntarily do the dirty and heavy work that no one else wants. When someone attacks me, I do not return insults as Master has required. As a result, I earned high praise from my supervisor and colleagues. After the flood in 2000, I donated one month’s salary of 500 yuan to the relief effort. Before I practiced Dafa, I would not have even donated 10 yuan. This shows the compassion I gained from Dafa practice.
Since the CCP launched a smear campaign against such a wonderful practice, I must do my best to assist Master rectify the Fa and share the wonders of Dafa with others. My husband has been supportive of my making Dafa materials by doing household chores, and he was rewarded for his kindness. He told me he no longer suffers from heart palpitations at night. I also noticed he stopped snoring after snoring all his life, and his athlete’s foot was also cured. My daughter took the college entrance exam a few years ago. She does not like to study, but often helps me print Dafa materials. Miraculously, her test scores met the goal she set for herself. After graduating from college, she accepted a job that she liked close to home in a brutally competitive job market with a high unemployment rate. I am grateful for Master’s compassion and help. I am so blessed to practice Dafa and will strive forward diligently to fulfill my prehistoric vow, so I can reach consummation and return home with Master.
