(Minghui.org) It can be quite a challenge handling relationships with the in-laws. It's such a widespread phenomena that it's often portrayed in fictional writing and TV dramas.
It's typical in some Asian nations for young newly married couples to live with the husband's parents, which can be very stressful. It can be so difficult that some even wonder if it's actually possible to get along well with one's in-laws?
For Mr. Lu Xinzhi and Ms. Lu Jiaying, husband and wife living in Taipei, this problem somehow doesn't exist. Xinzhi's mother and Jiaying's mother both speak highly of their daughter-in-law & son-in-law.
So what's the secret bond that connects the couple and their in-laws to ease their relationship?
A happy family: (L-R) Jiaying, Xinzhi, and Jiaying's mother Ms. Chen Xiuying
Ms. Chen Learns about Falun Gong and the Complaining Stops
Ms. Chen, Jiaying’s mother used to have a hard life. After her husband, who is more than 10 years older, retired, she ended up as the main bread winner for the family. Jiaying was in college at the time, and Ms. Chen's two younger ones were in high school and middle school.
“I worked as a babysitter and had to care for three or four children at the same time to make ends meet,” recalled Ms. Chen. Her husband helped from time to time, but it didn't help much. Thinking of her friends staying at home enjoying their life, she became angry as she was burdened with supporting a family.
Her anger funneled down to complaints and arguments every day. Her high blood pressure, heart disease and other illnesses only worsened.
The turning point came in July 2000 when she went to a hair salon. While chatting with the hairdresser, Ms. Chen said, “My doctor recommended that I should go swimming to help improve my health.”
The girl then told her about a meditation practice called Falun Gong. “Both my friends and I have benefited from it. It improves the health and mind. You should give it a try,” suggested the girl with a smile.
There's a bookstore not far from the salon, where Ms. Chen found the book the girl mentioned - Zhuan Falun. She read a few pages and liked it very much. “What's written in the book makes a lot of sense to me!” she exclaimed.
She said that it's the best book she'd ever read, after finishing it in three days. Her hairdresser told her that the next nine-day classes would begin in several days, but Ms. Chen didn't want to wait that long. So she went to a nearby practice site at Rongxing Garden Park, where practitioners gathered daily to do the Falun Gong meditation in the morning.
“The healing power was amazing,” Ms. Chen recalled. “My high blood pressure and heart disease disappeared within several months, even before I noticed it.” What impressed her most was the Falun Gong principles of 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance', something she could relate to in her life and family.
Instead of complaining about her husband, she now understood that he had no choice but to retire because of his age. Once her attitude turned positive, life was not as bad as she thought. “To be honest, I have to thank my husband,” she said with a grin. “If I hadn’t married him and lived here, I probably wouldn't have had the chance to know about Falun Gong.”
My Mother Was Given the Best Gift
Jiaying had chronic stomach pains since she was in elementary school. With habitual diarrhea, the stomach pains became so bad that she had to take medicine before each meal. Plus, any change in her diet could cause complications. “In the end, taking medicine became my daily routine, and part of my meal,” she recalled.
She searched around looking for a cure. After visiting bookstores and asking about qigong or other ways of self-improvement, her efforts went in vain.
The day after her mother brought home the book Zhuan Falun, she began to read it. She excitedly said, “It explains many things, from human beings to health, and from history to the universe. Everything is so clear now. I've learned many things that I didn't even think about before.”
Jiaying immediately signed up for the next session of the Falun Gong nine-day classes. “During those nine days,” she said, “It was like I had diarrhea every day. But after the session ended, my loose bowels and chronic stomach pains disappeared.”
She was able to eat whatever she wanted and her weight gradually went back to normal. People who knew her have commented how she is now more attractive and energetic.
Jiaying also noticed improvements in her personality. “Probably because of my health, I was often in a bad mood and complained a lot.” By following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance she learned how to care for others more and set high standards for herself.
“I found many bad thoughts that I was not previously aware of,” she remarked, “such as jealousy and selfishness. Life is now much simpler and I have made many more friends.”
Mother-in-law: “Because Xinzhi Practices Falun Gong, I Knew He Would Take Good Care of My Daughter”
Jiaying met Xinzhi at the nine-day classes. They immediately got along well with each other, as they have similar interests and common goals. The two families were also drawn closer and often went out together.
“Both our families get on really well with each other, so Xinzhi and I didn't have many chances at dating alone,” Jiaying explained, giggling. “It was always six people together, but everything always went just fine.”
Jiaying's mother added, “Because Xinzhi practices Falun Gong, I knew he would take good care of my daughter.”
Source of Happiness
Xinzhi had an ear infection and bronchitis since childhood. He had always been allergic to seafood. He couldn't handle cold drinks and often started sneezing when experiencing sudden changes in the weather.
All of these ailments led him to explore more about life. He believed in karmic relationships and often went to temples looking for a solution for his health, but none of them helped him.
He first heard about Falun Gong in March 1999. “A friend recommended the book Zhuan Falun to me,” he said. “My reaction reading it turned from curiosity to gratitude.” He'd experienced many things mentioned in the book, such as sensing a Falun (law wheel) rotating in his body and seeing colors in other dimensions, etc...
“I've read some Buddhist scriptures before, but Zhuan Falun is much more profound. I'm very fortunate to have come across this practice,” Xinzhi said sincerely. His health problems disappeared not long after that.
Seeing the positive changes in Xinzhi made his mother start practicing Falun Gong too.
Jiaying's father has difficulty hearing and he has a strong accent, so people often find it hard to communicate with him. The practice of Falun Gong taught Xinzhi to be considerate and patient. He now has good conversations with his father-in-law, who treats him like his own son.
“Someone asked us what is the secret of our family happiness,” Jiaying commented. “I told them that it's the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It has helped change our family for the better, and I believe that it can do the same for anyone's family.”
