Discarding a Complaining Mentality
(Minghui.org) A Falun Dafa practitioner's life should not be governed by a complaining mentality. For that reason, I have learned to adhere to three tactics whenever something troubles me.
First, I remind myself that this is an opportunity to cultivate my xinxing. Then, I look within, and keep in mind that the incident was not intentional, thus I should not blame anyone. Lastly, I try to think of ways to resolve the problem.
Forbearance and Tolerance
For many years, I tended to complain to my husband and sister since we lived together. I had many reasons for indulging in my attachment of complaining.
When my husband brought home too much groceries, I complained. If he came home late from work, I was annoyed to have to keep the food warm. I complained about everything they did, one way or another.
Cultivation taught me forbearance and tolerance, so I gradually stopped my verbal complaints, but my mind was still riled with complaints because I did not look inside.
Reasons for Complaining
When started looking inward for why I complained a lot, I examined my complaints, and realized that I held several attachments: pursuit of comfort, sentimentality, fear and impatience. Looking further within, I realized that I had high expectations of others. I even found myself blaming others for my mistakes,
I developed a habit of complaining from watching my mother. As a child, I heard her complaining to my father whenever she thought that he caused her trouble, and because he had kept her from getting a job when they first got married.
I began to complain to my husband as soon as we got married; I complained a lot more so after I gave birth to our son. He just could not do anything right in my eyes. I complained about everything that did not meet my expectations, or that caused me discomfort. Complaining had turned into a habit and is related to refusing to accept responsibility.
Equating Complaining with Unfairness
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.” (“Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Reading Master’s Fa, made me self-reflect. I had cultivated for about eight years, but I still clung to my complaining mentality and I had fallen far behind. I told myself that I must cultivate diligently.
I was tested soon afterwards. My sister talked me into buying something that I found to be defective after getting it home. I was about to complain, but I suddenly realized that Master was showing me that I had not let go of my complaining mentality.
Master said,“'He's right,And I'm wrong',What's to dispute?” (“Who's Right, Who's Wrong” from Hong Yin III)
My mind became calm, and I felt regretful to have missed many similar opportunities to catch and discard my complaining mentality.