(Minghui.org) I used to be an overly confident and competitive person, and my strong personality was displayed fully, especially when it came to cooperating with fellow practitioners. I would do things without considering others' feelings.

These shortcomings have been an extremely big obstacle in my cultivation practice, especially since I only identified them recently. After several tests and sharing with other practitioners, I have learned to look at things with a righteous mind and genuinely cultivate myself.

Removing the Attachment to Self

A practitioner wrote an article about my experience of going to the authorities to demand the release of another practitioner. The author asked me to review the article before submitting it to the Minghui website.

Well, I didn’t like the title. I skimmed through the article and found two items very offensive–the date and the title. I said, “The title is too ambitious and grandiose in its tone, and the date is inappropriate.” My tone was very harsh, and I did not consider the practitioner's feelings.

The practitioner insisted that there was no problem because she believed that they were there to validate Dafa. Seeing that she would not change these two items, there was nothing I could do. I agreed that everything was factual.

After the article was published, I complained to other practitioners that the author did not allow others to change a single word. I did not think of looking inside.

After I calmed down, I realized that since that article was published, it proved that the practitioner’s writing was acceptable. Moreover, wasn't the tone and mentality reflected in the article actually a true reflection of my own show-off and superiority mentality all along?

Looking inside, I realized the reason for my showing off and superiority was because I believed I was capable. I thought I was better than her as I did the work. What a strong attachment to self, and what a terrible appropriation of Master's work!

I have forgotten that,

“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

When conflicts arose, I failed to look at them as good opportunities to raise my xinxing and remove my attachments. I completely forgot to look within. I focused on the right or wrong on the surface of the matter, and I didn’t realize the need to look at it from a broader perspective.

Master said,

“But the selfish characteristic is what you’ve been contaminated with gradually over the extremely long history of the universe.” (Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference)

I remember when two practitioners looked inside after a conflict, after which one of them said with tears covering her face, “Why could I vividly remember even a mean look from a practitioner, including the time and location, and would never forget it, but I cannot remember Master’s Fa? Would Master want us to be like this? Would Master be happy seeing us having such a conflict? It is the old forces that are pleased.” I was deeply touched.

Letting Go of the Mentality of Saving Face

One day, another practitioner started telling me calmly, “All of what you did when clarifying the facts to the authorities was undermining Dafa. The truth-clarification letters you mailed out were not in line with the Fa, either.”

She said, “I have never seen you studying the Fa when I drop by your house. Please do not come to my house anymore.”

Surprisingly, I stayed calm the entire time with a smile on my face and said, “Really? Then I should study the Fa more. Would it be okay if I come to your house again when you feel that I’m qualified to visit you?” She said, “No, at least not for now.”

In fact, I often studied multiple lectures of Zhuan Falun a day, but this practitioner did not know because she dropped by only once every several months. I didn’t leave until she had calmed down.

However, sometime later, I found myself complaining about the incident to another practitioner. I wondered why I was able to maintain my xinxing during the incident but not now? I examined myself and found that my xinxing was not solid; I was maintaining my xinxing during the incident merely to have her think it did not affect me and that I could pass this test.

From this incident, I came to understand that if a test is not passed by truly letting go of one’s mentality of saving face, then one can be deceived by one’s fake self and will display one’s “true face” at any given moment.

Blocked from Facing Mistakes

My husband is also a practitioner. He often reminded me that my exercise movements were too fast. I always found excuses and replied, “Please don’t focus on the trivial matters of others. How can everyone’s movements be exactly in sync?”

One day, my husband said again, “How come you always move ahead of Master’s instructions? Can’t you just hold until Master gives the instructions?” This time, I thought, “That’s right. Why wouldn’t I listen? What is blocking me from facing my mistakes? Master has instructed us that the movements should be slow, unhurried and smooth. Why haven’t I followed these instructions for all these years?”

I realized I was still attached to self and decided to correct myself.

The next day, while I was doing the Falun Standing Stance and holding wheels on the sides of my head, I suddenly felt as if I was being cradled by strong energy and entered tranquility immediately. My upper body felt light and bright–it was a magnificent feeling. I held the wheel on the sides of my head for an entire hour that day.

Taking Practitioners’ Suggestions Seriously

Other practitioners and I often remind each other of problems in our cultivation practice. One day, a practitioner reminded me to slow down. I thought her words made sense and looked inside. I indeed found an attachment–that nothing could be done without me.

Because my eyebrows were often knotted, others would often remind me to stop frowning and to mind my tone. My brows would be smooth for a little while before they became furrowed again. I realized that the root of the matter was my attachment to “self” again. I removed the attachment layer by layer like peeling an onion.

My furrowed brows became smooth. In the past, they felt as if they were covered by something. Now they feel flat, and I can’t frown even if I want to.

Lately, because I have been looking inside frequently and digging out my hidden attachment to self and selfishness from every angle and removing it, I felt I have broken through a level, and my supernormal abilities have gotten stronger.

Master said,

“Actually, you don’t yet know that this selfishness reaches all the way up to very high levels. As a matter of fact, for cultivators in the past to say, “I’m doing such and such,” “I want to do such and such,” “I want to obtain such and such,” “I’m cultivating,” “I want to become a Buddha,” or “I wish to attain such and such,” none of that was outside of selfishness. But what I want you to do is to truly, purely, and unselfishly Consummate with the real righteous Fa and righteous Enlightenment—only then can you achieve eternal non-extinction.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)

During the excruciating process of removing my attachment to self, our benevolent Master let me experience a little bit of a divine state for every small step I made.

I understand now that only by seizing the opportunity to change, cultivate diligently, and purify myself constantly can I gradually meet the requirements of Master and the Fa.