The Power of Dafa: Letting Go of Resentment
(Minghui.org) I am a 63-year-old practitioner who began practicing Falun Dafa in 1999, the year the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched its persecution of this cultivation practice.
Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, has always been looking after me. When I am doing well, Master encourages me. When I am in the middle of a tribulation, Master comforts me with his compassion. When I am confused, Master will awaken me. Master has taken me through a series of hardships and obstacles and ensured that I am solidly walking on my path of Fa-rectification cultivation.
Life Before Cultivation
I was born into a family of communist cadres and did not experience any hardships during my childhood. In fact, I lived a rather privileged life. But I was not happy. I was introverted, sensitive, and timid. I kept a distance from anyone whose opinions were different from mine. As a result, I built a wall around myself. I became isolated, depressed, and eventually suicidal, which led to neurasthenia, insomnia, and anxiety.
My husband and I lost our jobs in the early 1980s. We tried to open businesses but lost all our money and our house. I had a mental collapse and got even sicker. I could not take care of myself. I sought all kinds of remedies but got even worse. My sister came to take care of me. I felt a bit better when she was around me, but as soon as she left, I felt lost and in great fear.
Making Enemies Because of a Board
We rented a small place and had to store some of our belongings at my in-laws. One day we went back to get my wooden board and couldn't find it. I got into a fight with my brother-in-law, not for him taking it, but for taking it apart. He attacked me with a shovel, which left a bruise on my neck. My husband wanted to beat up his brother, but I stopped him because I did not want things to get worse.
My sister was very upset and called my mother-in-law to complain. She also pushed me to make a fuss about it. I just wanted to leave it alone. So I asked her not to get involved.
I then heard from someone that my mother-in-law had told others that I fell by myself and that my brother-in-law didn't hit me with a shovel. I was furious and started to hate them.
Studying Falun Dafa Brings Relief and Understanding
I woke up with an earnest desire to learn Falun Dafa one day in the wee hours in early 1999. I waited until dawn, planning to find a Dafa practice site in a park. However, a relative came by and told me that I should go watch the lectures by the Master of Falun Dafa. This was great news, as I wanted to learn Falun Dafa.
When I first heard Master's voice, I couldn't believe it; the voice was so familiar and so kind. Words can’t express how I felt. I felt happy for the first time in my life.
I read the Falun Dafa books and began to measure myself against the Dafa standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Soon after I began practicing, my ailments, that were so expensive to treat, disappeared! Dafa's principles drove away my resentment.
“I’m just explaining that when people are fighting with each other, and maybe one person even kicks the other, or one of them slugs the other one, maybe that guy owed the other person something, and now they’re settling the debt.” (Zhuan Falun)
“One is that you might have mistreated them in your previous life. You feel wronged, ‘Why are they treating me like that?’ Well, why did you treat them like that before? You say, ‘I don’t know anything about back then. This lifetime has nothing to do with that lifetime.’” (Zhuan Falun)
Once I understood how karma works and understood why people have pain, suffering, conflict, and troubles in life, my resentment disappeared, and I became a very generous person.
My mother-in-law was a hardworking, thrifty, and very neat person. She was always warm to everyone, and very chatty. Her mother-in-law died early, so she had to help raise my husband's two aunts and an uncle. She had to go to work and take care of her several kids. It was not easy.
Prior to cultivating, I could not see all these virtues in my mother-in-law, as I was filled with resentment towards her. I resented that fact that she did not look after my child. She has three sons and one daughter. All her grandchildren were born in the same year, but she only looked after the one from her youngest son. My other sister-in-law and I were very resentful of her favoritism.
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”(“Realms” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that when measured against the Fa, I was the “wicked one.” I had felt very resentful for more than ten years. I was so selfish. Master also said,
“Of course, while we’re cultivating in the ordinary world we’re supposed to respect our parents and be good to them, just as we should teach our kids and discipline them. In every situation we should be good to others and be kind to people, let alone your family members. We should treat everyone the same, be good to our parents and our kids, and always be considerate of others. Then your heart isn’t a selfish one when you do that, but a compassionate one—it’s compassion.” (Zhuan Falun)
I knew that I should follow the Fa, so I went to my mother-in-law's place whenever I had time, to help her with housework and to chat with her. I put myself in her shoes and was nice to her. As a result, she confided in me, and we got along very well.
She was later diagnosed with lung cancer and suffered a lot. Before she died, she said, “Make sure you practice Falun Dafa well. It doesn’t matter whether you are poor or rich, as long as you have your health, you have wealth.”
Dafa Gave Brand-New Life
I went to Tiananmen Square in Beijing to validate Dafa after the persecution started. I was illegally arrested twice. In 2002, the persecutors attempted to arrest me again, but I escaped, and with a neighbor's help, went to a relative's home out of town. To clarify the truth about Dafa to my brother-in-law's family, I left some Dafa materials at their doorstep on my way out of town.
The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published in late 2004, and it started the movement of quitting the CCP.
I went to my brother-in-law's home, where I was enthusiastically welcomed. It was a kind atmosphere. I knew that it was the power of Dafa and the mercy of Master that fixed our relationship. They listened to me attentively and quit the Young Pioneers branch of the CCP. I told them to memorize the phrases “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and that it would bring them a good fortune. They gladly accepted what I said. They offered to let me stay with them for the night and do the exercises freely. I was very pleased when I saw the truth-clarification CD about Dafa in their glass cupboard. I could see that they cherished Dafa. Seeing this, I felt how great the responsibilities of Dafa practitioners are.
The next year, they decided to run a business in the south. They did not want to rent their newly built house to other people, so they invited us to stay there for free. I thought this must have been arranged by Master so I could save predestined people in my hometown.
With Master's merciful protection and the assistance of practitioners from other areas, I was able to set up the first family-run materials production site and become the local coordinator. I cooperated with other practitioners to clarify the truth to local people and save them in a more effective manner.
Dafa has changed my life and given me a brand-new life and a happy family. I moved into an apartment and have a healthy and lovely granddaughter. My daughter-in-law works out of town, so I babysit my granddaughter. She is seven years old now and is following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. The whole family lives in harmony.