Falun Dafa Taught Me How to Educate My Son
(Minghui.org) I was illegally detained in a forced labor camp in 2005, and went on a hunger strike to protest the persecution. When I was released, I was very weak, emaciated, and unsteady on my feet. I also found out that while our 13-year-old son was living with my sister, my husband had been living with his former lover. My mother had passed away due to the stress, fear, and heartache. I felt like everything was gone, and I had no home to return to.
Hearing that I was released, my husband rushed to divorce me. He proposed that I raise our son and he would pay child support. I didn’t want to be separated from my son anymore and agreed to his request.
My aunt and sister opposed my choice. I didn’t have a job and was not in good health. I also hadn’t lived alone before, so how would I raise a child by myself? I didn’t know what to do. All I could do was cry.
In the midst of this suffering, I suddenly thought, “I am a Dafa practitioner. As long as I walk on the right path, Master Li will definitely help me. I’ll just let it be.”
I later talked to my husband and he agreed to take our son. But he couldn’t bring him home. His fiancee refused to allow it since her child and her mother were already living with him. My son and I were forced to separate again. My son was sent to his grandparents’ home instead, while I lived with my sister for the time being.
Raising a Troubled Teenager
No matter how difficult the environment was, my heart for practicing Dafa remained firm. After I recovered a bit, I went to my brother’s place. Master later helped me find a way to support myself; my brother gave me a small shop to run.
The profits from the store weren’t very much. After paying rent, I could barely buy groceries. Still, I tried to save as much money as possible and gave some to my former parents-in-law. My ex-husband didn’t give them any child support at all, so it was difficult for them to raise my son.
Without a good family upbringing, my son began to develop bad habits. He often surfed the Internet, used profanity, didn’t study well, and had a messy appearance. His hair looked like a bird’s nest.
In the last year of middle school, he got into fights with his classmates and no longer wanted to go to school. He eventually dropped out before graduating. I knew that I had not fulfilled my responsibility as a mother. Practitioners do not only cultivate themselves and save sentient beings but also need to educate their children well.
I took my son back to live with me and before too long, encountered my first test as a parent. My son didn’t have money to go to the internet cafes, so he stole from me.
I was saving money by putting it in the gap of a small cassette player. I didn’t think of being careful in front of my son and would put the money away in front of him. When I went to use the money one day, it was all gone. I knew immediately that my son had stolen it.
I was anxious and angry and wanted to give my son a good beating. I couldn’t understand how he could do something like that. After I calmed down and thought it over again, I knew that anger wasn’t the solution. As practitioners, we should enlighten from the Fa and educate our children well. I then thought of Master’s teaching:
“You should not be that way in disciplining children, and neither should you, yourselves get really upset. You should educate children with reason so that you can really teach them well.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I first needed to look at the issue from the perspective of my son and try to understand him. He was still young, and for many years, didn’t grow up in a stable, happy family environment. It was also difficult for him to resist the bad influences in society.
I decided to patiently guide him with Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I told him about the dangers of social chaos and the correct way to behave.
My son felt guilty and confessed to me. He had thought that I would get so angry and never forgive him. I said, “Your mother practices Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and listens to her Master's words. I don’t teach children the way everyday people do.”
My son shared that he was full of resentment for his father because he felt abandoned. I reminded him to treat his father and grandparents kindly. I told him traditional Chinese stories of retribution and how his father loved him when he was young. I asked him to be understanding of his father's hardship.
While educating my son, I also paid attention to those same aspects of the Fa in my every word and action, influencing him subtly in life and setting an example for him. He once asked me, “Why do all of my dad’s family ask me listen to you?” “They all believe that Dafa is righteous,” I replied.
I often listened to Master ’s lectures and watched the Shen Yun Performance DVDs with him. My son’s behavior then improved a lot. He no longer cursed and stopped going to internet cafes. He also took the initiative to help me with housework.
Rewarded for Supporting Dafa
Witnessing my good health, broad-mindedness, and kindness, my son supports me in practicing Dafa and has strong righteous thoughts. Someone once asked him to try to persuade me to give up practicing, but he said, “I support my mother’s practicing Falun Dafa, and I will always support her.”
At another time, the police found out where our materials production site was and waited outside the door day and night. My son ventured into the site and moved out three printers.
He was soon blessed for his support of Dafa. When he was 17 years old, my brother found him a job as a salesman. He was so good at it that the owner officially hired him within a few days.
My son has a very good income. To repay Dafa for his blessing, he promised to contribute money to the materials production site every month. He once went out to buy a new computer the next day after hearing me mention that the computer used for printing the brochures was old.
Fourteen years have now passed. My son and I are bathed in Dafa’s blessing and life is getting better and better. I am more diligent in cultivation and my son is now listening to Master’s lectures every night. He said, “As long as I listen to Master’s lectures, everything goes well for me.”
My son has bought a house and a car and opened a store by himself. I am truly grateful to Master for the opportunity to cultivate and for guiding me to educate my son. Thank you, Master, for everything you’ve given me.
Category: Improving Oneself