Dafa Made Me Strong After the Death of My Husband
(Minghui.org) I was born in 1990 and began to practice Falun Dafa when I was eight years old. I have walked on my cultivation path under the protection of Master Li (the founder) over the past 20 years and deeply feel Master's compassion and benevolence.
Misfortune Comes Suddenly
I was happy when I got married in 2016. My husband was kind and good-looking. Both his family and my family were affluent, so as a newly married couple, we didn't have any financial burden. My husband and I respected and cared deeply for each other and we enjoyed a happy life.
What we didn't anticipate, however, was that misfortune was approaching. One day at his office my husband suddenly felt unwell and became cold all over his body, then he got a high fever, which later turned into a continuous low fever. We went to different hospitals to get a diagnosis, but doctors could not find a cause, so we decided to take him home.
In June 2017, as soon as I arrived at my office, my father-in-law called and told me to go home as soon as possible. As I rushed home in a taxi, I was thinking of my weak husband the whole way. Worry and anxiety made me sweat, I was shivering and urged the driver to go faster. My husband passed away when I finally arrived home. I remember it was a rainy and gloomy day.
I simply couldn't get over the pain of losing my husband and cried each day, long after his death I felt sad, lonely and helpless. Past scenes with my husband, like going to the movies, played in my mind all the time. What added to the pain of losing him was that I was three months pregnant at the time.
Dafa Rescues Me from Selfishness
I gradually got back to my old self and became strong after I studied a lot of the Fa and shared with fellow practitioners. I came to understand that everything in life has a reason behind it, and it is all due to karmic relationships. However, even though I understood this karmic relationship, I still couldn't help crying a lot because I missed my husband so much. I regretted not cherishing cultivation practice before. I regretted that I could not help my husband when he was in difficulty because I didn't study the Fa well. During that time, my world was in chaos and I could not sleep well.
However, Master had never given up on me as a practitioner. Sometimes when I was half asleep, the Fa would come to my mind:
"A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised" ("Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions" in Hong Yin Vol. II, Translation Version A)
However, I didn't remember this poem before.
After the death of my husband, the child in my womb became the most important thing. Many relatives and friends tried to spare me pain and thought that because I was widowed, the child would become a burden in the future. They suggested I get an abortion. However, I would not do that! My husband and I were both the only children. My husband's death hit our respective families extremely hard. On the day of her son’s death, my mother-in-law curled-up on the sofa, crying, and mournfully repeated, “He will not come back, He will not come back, I couldn't save him!” At that moment, I felt fortunate to be pregnant. My parents-in-law would see hope in the baby and find the courage to face the future.
I decided not to get an abortion with the support of my parents. I felt proud of my decision. I was glad that I displayed the kindness and compassion that a Dafa disciple should demonstrate.
My in-laws fell into deep grief after the death of my husband. My mother-in-law was in tears all day long, and often told me stories about my husband's life. My father-in-law was very quiet and sad.
I am a restrained person. When my husband was alive, I always followed his lead in his parents' house to do things. Now that he was gone, I was alone to face his parents, and I always felt a bit nervous in front of my in-laws. But thinking of them, and in order to break the sad atmosphere, I tried to keep smiling and find some topics to engage them in various conversations, such as the baby kicking me in the womb again today, the doctor said that the baby developed better than the average baby, and so on. I was happy to see that my in-laws would smile every time they heard about the baby's condition.
Thinking about others is what Master has taught me. I tried my best to face the most difficult time in my life with a calm and peaceful demeanor. I made a great effort to ease the pain and worries of my parents, parents-in-law and grandparents with my optimistic attitude.
Finally, people talked to me with admiration instead of consolation. I am a Dafa disciple, my great Master has taught me to think about others even when I am in trouble and difficulty. I was glad that my cultivation led to good results. The kindness, tolerance, and selflessness that I have cultivated in Dafa have made me a better person. I changed from one who needed comfort from others to a compassionate one who can give comfort to others.
When I looked back at the hard times in my life, I can see that only Master knows the helplessness and pain I experienced. When no one could help me out, only Master listened to me, encouraged me, and gave me hope. There are too many difficulties and frustrations in life, fortunately, I practice Falun Dafa.
My Child and I Grew Up in the Fa Together
I sang Dafa songs to the baby in my womb on the way to and from work every day in order to let her grow up healthy. It is said that a baby is most sensitive to the mother's voice, so I read to her every night after I got home from work. I practiced the exercises whenever I had time, so she would receive Dafa's energy every day. I continued doing this until my baby was born.
My baby girl was born healthy and strong. She developed strong language skills and great hands-on skills. An adorable and pleasant smile was always on her chubby face. Because she was so cute, I often gave her too much attention and neglected Fa- study.
One morning, she changed her usual routine and became a little restless. She insisted on me hugging her. I touched her forehead and realized that she had a fever. I became nervous, held her in my arms walking back and forth in the living room while sending righteous thoughts. I touched her forehead from time to time to see if she had any signs of sweating. I became worried and anxious and wondered why she had a fever without sweating. I rubbed her body with some Chinese herbs, then her temperature dropped for a moment but soon rose again.
Seeing that I was so worried my family member (a Dafa practitioner) reminded me to calm down and read the Fa. Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I sat down, cross-legged, held my baby in my arms, and read the Fa seriously. At first, I was a little anxious, but as I read, I gradually calmed down, and my child nestled in my arms very well and stopped crying.
My little girl was cute and smart. My in-laws were finally relieved of the pain from losing their son. Laughter and joy came back to the deserted and empty home again.
My daughter helps me on my cultivation path. Once, she was in my arms and suddenly grabbed my face and made me look down at her when I was arguing with a family member who is also a practitioner over a differing understanding of a certain Fa. I didn't pay attention to her behavior because I was in a hot dispute at the time. However, afterward, she just pulled my face again and again whenever I was about to argue so that I could hardly talk. I suddenly realized that Master was using her to remind me not to argue with others. So I watched my daughter, smiling without saying more, and quietly listened to my fellow practitioner and let her talk about her point of view. I gradually realized that she was quite reasonable.
My little girl has grown up in the Fa. She sometimes hurts herself when she accidentally falls, but she says crying, “It's okay, it's okay!” She often reminds adults to cultivate diligently in the Fa. She often says, “I am playful and cute, follow Master to practice Dafa. I am not afraid of hardships, I will be diligent on my way home. My smiling face is like a lotus!”
I would like to thank Master for sending this young practitioner to me, making me better aware of my shortcomings and having a greater sense of responsibility to raise the little girl in Dafa. I am determined to be more diligent on the cultivation path. Thank you, compassionate Master!