(Minghui.org) I recently received two reminders about being truthful in my dreams.
In the first dream, I needed to join an activity in a hurry. There was a long passageway. I felt it would take too long to walk, so I pretended to be disabled and rode a special car to get to the activity. I woke up when I thought I might damage the image of Falun Dafa practitioners.
In the second dream, I went into an auditorium when a seminar was just about to end. The lecturer left a riddle for the audience. I figured out the answer, which was to cultivate solely from within instead of only appearing to be good on the outside.
I realized that both dreams hinted that one needed to cultivate “Truthfulness,” but I couldn’t figure out in which way I was behaving untruthfully.
Since I was young, I believed that I should work hard, abide by society’s rules, and become a good person by helping and caring for others. Over a long period of time, many people became used to me being nice, and willing to please others. However, others would take this character trait for granted. I felt a sense of loss because my good behavior was not recognized.
I suddenly realized that the sense of loss was actually due to my strong attachment to fame. Among the three common attachments – fame, gain, and sentiment – I was attached to fame the most. At several critical moments, I could handle gains and sentiment well, but I valued fame too much, and could not let it go.
I found that I had been seeking a reputation for “being the best.” This thought is generally perceived to be positive, so I did not realize that it was the result of an attachment. Digging deeper, I found that seeking a “good reputation,” was based on selfishness—the attachment to “self.”
After discovering my attachment, I began to understand the deeper intention behind the strong pursuit of being recognized as a good person. I had been attentive to maintaining a virtuous image since childhood, and constantly imitated the desirable behaviors of others. Seeing this about me, my mother once warned, “People are minding their own business. Don’t always think that they are looking at you.”
I realized that this “untruthful” aspect of myself was caused by an attachment to reputation. Harboring this strong attachment meant that I lived for the praise of others. My kind behavior was not a result of benevolence. This hidden motivation was not in line with truthfulness at all. The mentality of living for reputation caused many regrettable behaviors, and also seriously affected my ability to do the three things that Dafa disciples should do.
I am grateful for the hints that Teacher gave me so that I could realize my deep attachment to fame. I felt ashamed of my decade-long ignorance, but also knew that these mistakes were made by my “false self”—accumulating karma, human thoughts, and notions. My true self did not take part in this behavior. After I discovered the “false self,” and wanted to get rid of it, I genuinely felt like I was shedding a layer of particles and being cleansed in another dimension. Sending forth righteous thoughts also became much more powerful.
I hope to cultivate more solidly. I should remove my human notions, concepts, and attachments, and constantly assimilate to the universal principles, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, so I may return to my true self.