(Minghui.org) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I have worked at the Tianti Bookstore since it opened. During these past two years, I gradually learned to look inward and cultivate my xinxing.
Removing Resentment and Negative Thoughts
To prepare for the opening, I needed to count the inventory and enter it into the computer system. I found discrepancies several times and had to recount the books because the boxes had been opened and the contents were mixed up. For several weekends in a row, I had to repeatedly count the inventory and reconcile and update the numbers in the system. I felt exhausted and wanted to take a break.
Once when I was about to re-enter the inventory into the system again, the warehouse told me that many boxes were opened again and new books were mixed in with old ones. This meant I had to count the inventory once again.
I did not look at this issue from the perspective of cultivation. Instead, I couldn’t understand how this kept happening. In my experience, warehouse management was a very straightforward task. How could it be so challenging to maintain the inventory? The initial inventory count should only take a half-day, but I couldn’t finish it in several days.
I really wanted to quit, but I knew it was my responsibility to reconcile the inventory. I felt exhausted when I walked out of the bookstore at midnight and felt I was beyond my limit, I wept.
As I was crying, something a practitioner once said came to my mind. She said she was able to overcome the difficulties and continue when she remembered her mission as a practitioner.
I knew that Master was encouraging me to think about my responsibility and mission as a Dafa disciple. I couldn’t just back off after suffering a little bit and not think about saving people. I calmed down.
I thought of the cultivation story of Buddha Milarepa. His master asked him to build a house, and he had to start over every time he was halfway through or almost finished. Later, when his master was passing on his teachings, he told him that these hardships were a way of removing his sinful karma.
“You encounter those things on account of your karmic debts, though we have reduced the debts for you greatly. The few that do remain are allotted to different stages of your practice and will take the form of ordeals. These are meant to develop your character, strengthen your will, and break the attachments you have. They are ordeals fashioned just for you, and we make use of them to perfect your character. And we can help you to overcome them. All of them can be overcome as long as you elevate your mind. You should be able to pull through unless you are not determined to.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that even though I have practiced for many years, I didn’t solidly cultivate my xinxing. Wasn’t this a good opportunity to improve my character? When I thought of this, I felt calm.
After I calmed down I started to look inward. I asked myself why I felt so bad when I did a little more work. Was the bad feeling from my true self?
I realized that when I felt upset, I was controlled by resentment and negative thoughts. Think about Buddha Milarepa, who rebuilt a house many times without complaint. I knew the root of my problem was resentment. I should eliminate it.
At this point, the substance that made me depressed disappeared, and I felt relaxed.
I went through many similar tests after that experience. In the process, I removed my resentment and negative thoughts layer by layer. Sometimes, my heart was screwed up, and I could not control myself. Sometimes it took me a long time to realize that I was wrong. I found that whenever I remembered I was a practitioner and should cooperate with other practitioners, I could solve the problems smoothly.
Treat Other Practitioners with Compassion
Last year, the store manager, who was very capable and wore many hats in the bookstore, had to leave the team due to personal circumstances. I was asked to take over her job.
When I first took her place, I thought I could handle it because I had many years of experience in management in my everyday job. I didn’t realize this was my notion.
While managing the team, I followed the rules and policies but unexpectedly encountered some issues. I became impatient and had an attitude toward other practitioners when they didn’t follow the protocols. I could not understand why people did not follow the rules that were set clearly. I criticized team members when they were late for work.
All the practitioners were very easygoing. They just smiled and didn’t say anything.
I didn’t think I had a problem. I also thought, “Shouldn’t it be taken seriously according to the company’s policy when something went wrong?”
However, when I became impatient, I felt Master looking at me. I seemed to hear Master’s voice.
“Is it that you think this fellow practitioner of yours has cultivated better than you, so you don’t need to be kind to him?” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference)
I asked myself if there was something wrong with me. I asked myself why I was so impatient. Even if others were at fault, why did I give them a bad attitude? What were my attachments? There must be some loophole that was taken advantage of by my demonic nature.
Later, a team member I criticized told me about the difficulties she was experiencing and the interference she encountered. She was aware of her issues and tried to overcome the hardship and improve.
I understood that I was wrong. I didn’t ask why my team members didn’t follow the rules or why they were late for work. I didn’t care whether my attitude would hurt them.
I felt I was “being reasonable,” but “being reasonable” was a human notion. It was not the standard a practitioner should follow. Instead, I should follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
In addition, when I encountered problems, I didn’t look within and didn’t think about why I had these problems or if I did anything wrong.
I later realized that behind my notions were hidden attachments such as the pursuit of fame and gain, resentment, negative thoughts, and fear of taking on responsibilities.
In my everyday job, I was accountable for my team as the manager, so I was very strict with my team members. In fact, I was driven by personal interests and pursued fame.
These contradictions were not exposed for no reason. They helped me see my human notions and eliminate them. In the process, I learned I should eliminate attachments, think of others, and trust others with compassion.
Although I still lose my temper from time to time, I believe I will rectify myself in cultivation.
Nine-day Falun Dafa Introductory Class
When I was a child, I attended a nine-day Falun Dafa introductory class with my family. After working for the bookstore, I was lucky enough to volunteer and host a class in 2020.
When I watched Master’s teachings, I felt very sacred and solemn. The more I listened, the more energetic and clear headed I became. I was very focused and did not feel tired or sleepy after a long day’s work.
On the last day of the nine-day class, as soon as Master began to speak, I felt enveloped by a powerful, compassionate field as if Master was present.
I felt the sacredness and solemnity of Master’s teachings. I also realized the importance of attending the nine-day class for new practitioners and my responsibility. I rediscovered the feeling I had when I first began practicing.
We hosted another nine-day workshop recently. I felt so joyful seeing new practitioners listening to Master’s teachings. At that time, I encountered a lot of interference and felt a bit discouraged. When I saw how new practitioners cherished the opportunity to practice Dafa, I felt the negative, passive matter in my dimension melted a lot.
I am grateful for Master’s compassionate salvation. We cannot fully understand how much Master has worked for his disciple’s cultivation and success. The only thing I can do is be more diligent, live up to Master’s compassion, and fulfill my vows!
(Presented at the 2022 Hong Kong Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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