Letting Go of Fame and Profit: Stepping Out of Humanness

(Minghui.org) Last spring I went to a suburban county of Beijing to take care of my daughter during her postpartum period. After quite some effort and travel, I finally arrived at my daughter’s home.

Caught in the Whirlpool of Fame, Profit, and Emotion

I could never have imagined that after arriving at my daughter’s home, one unpleasant thing after another would happen, and we did not have three days of peace. Considering the health condition of my son-in-law’s mother, I did the physically demanding tasks as much as possible. When we went to the market, even though it was far away, I would carry the groceries, and sometimes, my son-in-law’s mother would carry some for a while.

Whatever my son-in-law’s mother wanted to eat, she would make it as if she were at her own home. Even if the food she made didn’t taste right, her son would still smile, say it was delicious, and appear satisfied. But, I was different in my daughter’s eyes. It was rare for me to do things right, and I would often make mistakes. When my daughter was with her mother-in-law and her husband, there was laughter and joy, but with me, her expression was cold and indifferent, she rarely smiled, and sometimes we would even argue and she would cry. At those times, I could only leave her alone and return to my room, feeling heartbroken and lost. Many memories of my daughter’s childhood came to mind, causing me much grief, and I couldn’t stop shedding tears.

I cooked postpartum porridge for my daughter using an induction stove and a stainless steel pot. Sometimes, by accident, I would blacken the bottom of the pot, which would annoy my son-in-law. I thought to myself, it was not on purpose, how much could a pot possibly cost? I’m at your house to take care of the baby and your entire family, I kept busy from morning until night, and you show no gratitude and constantly find fault with me. They would whisper behind my back about how the floor was dirty, and my clothes were not washed together with theirs but separately, wasting electricity and water.

Since my daughter’s home was far away, I had to change buses three times. It was inconvenient to bring many things, so I only brought a few changes of clothes. I spent much time taking care of and holding the baby who would often have accidents or throw up. Sometimes, after putting on clean clothes, they would get dirty soon afterward, and I couldn’t wait to wash my clothes together with theirs. Besides, washing clothes required time to dry, so I had to wash my clothes promptly, otherwise I would have no clean clothes to change.

My daughter once said before her marriage, “Our family spent much money on my education, what need is there for a dowry?!” Knowing her understanding of our family’s financial situation, I felt relieved. Our ancestors have all been farmers, we lived by farming and laboring, and it was not easy to support my daughter to complete her postgraduate studies, and my son’s college. We are still renting a place to live, and my son is not yet married; our family’s financial situation is tight. Although we spent over 200,000 yuan on my daughter’s education, we didn’t ask for any bride price when she got married. Moreover, the combined monthly income of my son-in-law and his parents is not as high as my daughter’s salary; she is the main support of their family.

I felt that my son-in-law’s family should be satisfied and grateful to us. But not only were they not grateful, they also demanded a dowry. My daughter also felt aggrieved for not being given financial support from our family, and she cried to me, complaining, “I haven’t received anything from you since leaving home.” I couldn’t have imagined that my daughter, who used to be obedient and sensible, would become like a stranger to me.

One day, a conflict arose between my son-in-law’s mother and me, and I angrily said, “My daughter once said that spending so much money on her education meant not expecting any dowry, but now she changed, her current behavior is entirely influenced by you and directly related to you.” She paused for a moment and then rambled on with a few more insults. I was about to retort but swallowed my words, remembering that as a Dafa cultivator, I should not insult others. Although I didn’t verbalize my anger, I didn’t let go of it in my heart. At night, alone in my room, the more I thought about it, the more aggrieved I felt, I cried uncontrollably and felt utterly weak.

People who know me would praise my daughter for being filial; indeed, she was very dutiful before meeting her husband. During her time at the university, knowing our financial situation, she often worked during vacations and endured much hardship. At home, she often helped me with household chores. One winter, when I was working as a security guard for a residential area, it snowed heavily, and she helped me clear the snow. Seeing her from the back even though the weather was cold, my heart felt warm.

After her college and postgraduate studies, she found a job that many envied. After she started working, she insisted I quit my job as a security guard, she rented an apartment for us, and she even offered to support her brother’s education. I told her, “Your dad can still provide for him, you don’t need to take on that responsibility.” I could not have imagined that the daughter who used to be kindhearted would become so unfamiliar to me.

Breaking Free from Emotional Bonds and Rising Above the Mundane

After returning from my daughter’s home, every time I thought about that period, my heart felt heavy and increasingly angry. One day, I found myself in a bad physical state: I had pain in the front and back of my chest as if the pain was coming from within my bones. My mind was in turmoil, like a tangled mess, trapped in agony and unable to extricate myself, completely blending in with ordinary people. I was ashamed! Thinking about how Master has given everything to save sentient beings, what was my suffering in comparison? Wasn’t all of this caused by my attachment? Master has eliminated my karma and purified my body for the sake of saving me, my body came into this world to validate the Fa and save people, not to live in comfort or seek enjoyment. This body has a mission to save sentient beings, and is a resource of the Fa; I have no right to damage it.

I recognized the seriousness of the issue, I knew I would need to take up the responsibility to save sentient beings, and I should ensure my body remained healthy. On the matter of saving sentient beings, this body can only validate the Fa, and I must not tarnish it.

The issues I faced were caused by my show-off mentality, and feeling happy upon receiving praise about how my daughter was filial and how she also had a good job. I often boasted about her as a testament to my good cultivation. Feeling delighted when others praised me, I now realize what a dirty heart I had. It was a manifestation of my false self, which I rejected. In this matter, I also exhibited a competitive mentality, desire for fame and gain, vanity, emotional attachment to my daughter, resentment, a feeling of being unbalanced, and a desire for repayment, among others.

Master said, “There are reasons behind everything. What makes people human? It is the presence of emotion, as people simply live for it.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

Perhaps in a past life, I owed my daughter, and in this life, she was born into my family to settle those debts. And today, as she marries into her husband’s family, maybe she owes them from a past life and is now repaying those debts. Gradually, I let go of my emotional attachment to my daughter and my resentment toward my son-in-law’s family, expanding my capacity for tolerance. With compassionate reinforcement from Master and the encouragement and help from fellow practitioners, my physical condition improved day by day, and within a month my behavior had improved.

After experiencing these hardships, I realized a principle: as a cultivator when facing tribulations, acting according to human logic, thinking, and doing things like an ordinary person would be like entering a dead end that one cannot escape. Only by diligently and truly cultivating can one realize that these tribulations are actually opportunities for improving one’s cultivation.