I Saw What Master Endures For Us

(Minghui.org) I always thought I was making contributions to Dafa because I was involved in projects. Now, I truly feel bad because no matter what I do, it’s almost nothing. What I saw through my celestial eye in early November helped me deeply understand what Master is enduring.

I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for five years, and from my discussions with other practitioners, reading Zhuan Falun and Master’s other lectures, I knew Master was enduring a lot because of practitioners’ karma. I thought I understood, but what I saw helped me see the extent of Master’s suffering.

I could feel his pain—a pain beyond words. Master is not only enduring for Falun Dafa practitioners. There are countless beings in layers upon layers of dimensions, and countless beings in layers upon layers of cosmoses. Master has been enduring for all of them, from the lowest to the highest levels. The karma is so great at higher levels that it is dreadful.

When I saw this, I understood why—Master does not want all these beings to be destroyed, so he endures everything while he simultaneously carries out Fa-rectification. Master told us that the highest levels of the universe were degenerated. He does not want all those beings to be eliminated, so he is carrying out Fa-rectification.

As I watched this scene, I trembled and cried out because I could sense that what Master is enduring far exceeds what Jesus endured.

A few days later, I called a practitioner with whom I often share understandings. I hoped that by talking to him, I could calm down. Noticing my voice sounded different, he asked what had happened. I only told him I saw that Master was enduring more than Jesus did. I wept after I hung up.

Many feel Jesus’ suffering was most painful. But no one knows what Master is suffering. I cannot comprehend what Master is enduring for all the beings in this vast universe, from the highest to the lowest levels. I’m still in shock, and I weep as I write this.

For the next few days, I felt numb. I work with other practitioners on Falun Dafa-related projects, but I had difficulty focusing—it was because I felt no matter how much I did, my efforts did little to help Master.

His sacrifice is so great that it is greater than great. This is the only way I can describe it because I don’t have any other way to express it. I felt helpless—I just sat there and watched Master suffer. Anything I did would have been like a drop of water in the ocean. I knew Master allowed me to see this to encourage me to cultivate diligently.

Then, all my attachments seem to have disappeared—I didn’t want anything. My wife said something which normally would have triggered my rebuttal. I may not have argued with her, but I would have felt uncomfortable. But this time, I was not moved. My wife complained about something today, but I wasn’t disturbed.

Master sacrificed so much, but I haven’t been able to let go of my petty attachments. Master said that when we improve and cultivate at higher levels, we will face additional challenges, so we can eliminate our attachments. But I felt I hadn’t cultivated well. I still had a show-off mentality, and sometimes it seemed worse.

After I saw the scene, I felt bad because I showed off, yet Master has been suffering for all beings in the universe, from the lowest to the highest levels, but no one knows.

I think that some practitioners do know. Although Master endured so much, he does not complain. When something does not meet my expectations, I’m often resentful. From this experience, I know I’m far from where I should be in my cultivation.

I truly understood Master’s words: 

“We have said, however, that as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted, but should hold oneself to a high standard.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

I thought I met the criteria because I did not fight back on the surface. However, in other dimensions, when I felt unbalanced, I was actually fighting with those who upset me. I occasionally said something negative, which meant I still had the attachment. My words were milder than before, but they still carried negative energy. I know I haven’t yet met the criteria for a genuine practitioner. I truly feel bad.

I also saw my thought karma, and I realized how thoughts produce karma. When I had the thought of not liking someone, as soon as that thought surfaced, I was already attacking or provoking that person in other dimensions. When I had some bad thoughts, they were already at work in other dimensions. I was shocked when I realized this. I now pay close attention to my thoughts.

When I did household chores in the past, I often felt frustrated and wondered why my wife hadn’t done this or that. Now, when those thoughts surface, I immediately eliminate them. I also realize how bad my behavior was toward my family and other people.

I also had additional insights from this experience, but I was unable to recall all of them. It was too much, beyond what I could comprehend. So, I just wanted to share what I saw with you.

I can only tell Master that I will work hard on cultivating myself; I will take cultivation practice seriously and eliminate my human notions. After what I saw, I dare not think or behave the way I did before. I always thought I was making contributions to Falun Dafa because I was involved in projects. Now, I truly feel bad because no matter what I do, it's almost nothing.

Master is greater than great. I am so fortunate to be here and practice Falun Dafa. I do not know what to say about this honor. I can only thank Master wholeheartedly for everything and for allowing me to practice in Dafa.

This is my personal experience and insight. Please point out if there is anything inconsistent with Dafa’s teachings.