China Fahui | Returning to China After Studying Abroad, Becoming Diligent in Cultivation Post Pandemic

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Dafa in the summer of 1998 with my mother. I was young and could not give up my dreams even though I knew Dafa was good.

The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution in 1999. Facing the CCP’s lies, I was disgusted, and I stopped watching TV and reading newspapers. I left China to study abroad a few months later. It was my first time being away from my parents. At first I studied the Fa and went with other practitioners to share the practice and clarify the truth, but later, with the pressure of classes and life in general, I studied the Fa less and less. Without the power of Dafa, I became lost in everyday life.

When I first read Zhuan Falun, I came to understand why humans have illnesses, and I have not taken medicine since then. But I was not diligent. Even so, Master protected me. When I was in an illness tribulation, I listened to Master’s lectures and recovered quickly, but I stopped listening after I recovered.

I returned to China a few years later. I got a job and worked hard. I put cultivation to one side. I lived with my parents, and my life became stable. I met my husband, got married, and had a child.

My mother-in-law is a Dafa practitioner. I set up a Dafa material production site in our home and gave my mother and mother-in-law copies of Minghui Weekly. I later visited the Heaven and Earth Forum and learned how to burn DVDs. I started to burn DVDs of Shen Yun, Nine Commentaries on Communist Party, Now and for the Future, and programs about overcoming the CCP’s information censorship, for my mother and mother-in-law to distribute to predestined people. I learned how to print and prepare Dafa books, amulets, and currency bills with truth-clarifying messages on them. Despite all this, I was not diligent then. (I now know that I had the attachment to doing things and did not know how to cultivate).

I saw several Udumbara flowers on a nectarine when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was so excited that I shared the flowers with everyone in our extended family, letting them see the celestial flower that is said to bloom once every 3000 years.

When my daughter was born, she had a birthmark on top of her head. My mother said it was like a flower. I thought that she had come to obtain the Fa by being born into a family of Dafa practitioners. I resisted pressure from our extended family and let her listen to the audio of Master’s lectures for more than 10 years. She grew up without having to go to a hospital or take any medications. But my stagnant cultivation state also affected her, and she did not start practicing until later.

I recall when my daughter went to elementary school, I started to worry about her grades due to the warped education system in China. My affection for my daughter became so strong that it was almost beyond control. After a few years, my daughter went from a cheerful and outgoing child to a self-abased introvert. I realized something was wrong. I thought about how my family members would view me as a cultivator. Wasn’t this damaging Dafa’s reputation? Even if my daughter scored the highest on the exam, went to a renowned university, and got a good job after she graduated, what was that good for? That is the life everyday people pursue.

After I realized this, I knew I was wrong and that my daughter had quietly suffered my pressuring her for years. She never talked back. When I apologized to her about this, she said, “Mom, never mind. I’ve totally forgotten what you said before. I don’t remember it.”

I had stumbled on my cultivation path, but I decided to get up and catch up. I wanted to lead my daughter to walk well on her cultivation journey.

In January 2023, I started to pay attention to the importance and seriousness of sending righteous thoughts and studying the Fa every day. Before then, I did not send righteous thoughts regularly, and I even stopped doing it altogether.

I decided to participate in the global midnight sending righteous thoughts at midnight before going to bed. I was very sleepy initially, but I knew it was interference from evil factors. I tried my best to stay awake, and if I did fall asleep I would extend the time that I sent righteous thoughts after I woke up. I also let go of the human notion that less sleep would affect my daytime work. Gradually, I was no longer sleepy and have sent righteous thoughts at the four scheduled times every day since. If I have to take care of something, especially at noon, as my colleagues might ask me to work on something, I make up for it later the same day. If I cannot keep my hand upright and feel sleepy, it means I have an issue, so I look within and let go of attachments. The situation then gets better.

After Master’s article “How Humankind Came To Be” was posted, I felt that Fa-rectification had entered a new stage. The urgent issue was to solve my problem of not studying the Fa well. I was unable to remember anything after studying a lecture. How could I change this?

I searched Minghui.org for sharing articles and categorized them into different folders: sending righteous thoughts, studying the Fa, and looking within. I also downloaded the books and audio files of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, Disintegrating the Culture of the Chinese Communist Party, The Ultimate Goal of Communism, and How the Specter of Communism Is Ruling Our World. I listened to audio recordings on my way to and from work. I read the electronic versions or the printouts after I got home. I also downloaded audio files from Minghui Radio and listened to them as I traveled to and from work.

I was touched by fellow practitioners who were reciting and copying the Fa, so I decided to do the same. So I started to memorize the Fa for the first time, which later played a big role in my helping my mother get through a tribulation. My family of three gradually started to study the Fa together in the evenings. My daughter played a big role. Sometimes we were busy or she did homework until late, but she would insist on reading the Fa for a while, even if only a few pages. She said that it meant we studied the Fa every day. I was ashamed that I had not done as well as my daughter in this regard. My daughter and husband started to cultivate after me, so I shared my thoughts when each of us faced issues or made mistakes, letting them know about following Dafa and improving xinxing, as well as how to view things and cope with issues. When I did not do well later on, they pointed out my shortcomings based on the Fa.

One day I was overly regretful that I had wasted so many years not cultivating well. I had negative feelings and sighed in front of my husband. Later, when I talked to my daughter about this, I broke down in tears. After school, my daughter talked with her father about it. They both said to me at the same time when I got home after work, “You focus on your attachments too much!”

I tried to explain myself and then later thought it was Master who was giving me a hint through them. I shouldn’t be waste time being pessimistic; I should instead hurry to catch up in cultivation. I recalled that Master has talked about getting up quickly after stumbling. Compassionate Master never gives up on his disappointing disciples.

My father fell down at home at the end of last summer. When my mother tried to help him up, she heard a “crack” in her lower back and thought, “Ouch, I’ve strained my back.” This incorrect thought brought her a big tribulation. My father was hospitalized, and my mother was bedridden because of the pain in her lower back. My sister and I took turns caring for our parents.

For several months, my daughter participated in a training that was held out-of-town. It was her first time staying away from home, so we went to visit her on Sundays. My father’s situation was critical because of preconditions he’d had for many years that had led to problems with multiple organs. My mother, who could get out of bed and walk with a walker, sent righteous thoughts and looked within initially. Her back pain improved a great deal. I asked her, “Mom, you have practiced for over 20 years. Did you recite ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good’ when you attempted to help Dad after he fell down? Did you remember that you were a practitioner when your back hurt? Master takes care of us, but we must correct ourselves in the Fa if there are any loopholes. We cannot let the evil take advantage of our loopholes.”

She said, “I was in a hurry and did not remember anything.” I was surprised, because my mother was regarded as the most diligent cultivator in our extended family. She did not appear to have any incorrect issues, but then I recalled that my mother’s affection for my father was strong.

I did not go to my mother’s house to cook for her a few days later, because I went to visit my daughter. I went to see her the following day and saw that she was lying in bed due to the pain in her lower back. I was concerned and told her not to lie down, that she should do the exercises, even if only a little, by leaning against the wall. I said lying down was acknowledging the old forces’ arrangements and we must listen to Master. But the pain was much for her and she could not bear it. I copied Master’s poem “Tempering the Will” in Hong Yin and put it on the cabinet door next to her bed. She could see it from the bed. I also printed articles from Minghui.org about overcoming illness tribulations and read them to her.

I also shared with her that my mother-in-law, who is older than my mother, fell down in her bathroom and did not cry out. Without notifying us, she lay down for two weeks and recovered completely. She later told us that she held one thought in her mind: “I am fine. Master is taking care of me.” This one thought determined the outcome.

I noticed that my mother had not asked about my father, who’d been in the hospital for over a month. We told her about his situation in general. I suddenly realized an issue and asked my mother, “Have you ever resented Father?” By questioning her again and again, she vented about her grievances about him that she had been harboring.

I said, “Mom, there are predestined relationships between people. You might owe him from your previous lives and need to repay him in this life. Your suffering in this life is also due to your debts from previous lives. In addition, you are over 80 years old. You should take many issues lightly, like everyday people your age, not to mention that you are a practitioner.”

My mother’s attachments (fear of suffering, grievances, and relying on others) were taken advantage of by the old forces, and her illness tribulation got worse. She later had blood in her urine and pain in her abdomen, though her lower back pain subsided. After that she had pain in both her abdomen and back and bloody urine. In just a few days, she grew very thin.

I asked her to let go of her attachments, but she did not. She was so weak that she could not speak. Looking at her, I lost control and said loudly, “You have cultivated for so many years! Why can’t you suffer? You clearly know this is persecution by the old forces. Why can’t you stay strong and face the tribulation with righteous thoughts? Don’t you know what a Dafa practitioner should do?”

My mother replied, “Go away. I don’t need you. I can take care of myself.” I cried and went home. I felt wronged and thought about how I could get my mother to have righteous thoughts. I would write down the Fa I could remember and put it on the cabinet door beside her bed. I asked her to read and recite them. I went to her house to cook for her early in the morning and after work every day, even on the weekends. But I knew I was wrong, that I should not be angry.

I did not look within at that time. I went to cook breakfast for my mother the next day, a Saturday. It was early winter and still dark outside. A cold wind whipped up. I recalled that, after sending righteous thoughts in the morning on the weekends, I could fall sleep again for a while. I had not had a good rest on the weekends for several months. I went to visit my father (his condition remained unstable), my mother (her condition had worsened over the past three months), and my daughter (she also had several xinxing tests). Did this count as “abundant troubles rain down together” as in Master’s poem “Tempering the Will” in Hong Yin? I was also going through a tribulation. Was I afraid of troubles? Did I think it was unfair because I did not have a good rest recently due to being busy with the three of them?

I suddenly recalled Master’s poem “Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement, and my mind became clear without feelings of suffering or grievance.

When I went to see my mother, I said, “Mom, I’m sorry. I should not have been angry yesterday. Master does not give up on any disappointing disciples. I won’t give up you. I will work with you to overcome the tribulation.”

My mother started to cry and reiterated her grievances about my father once again. I started crying and yelled at her, “Mom! You should not cry over this. Why don’t you cry for the sentient beings in your world? They are waiting for you to save them! Have you ever thought of them?”

She shook her head. I said to Master in mind, “Master, what can I do?” I gradually noted that my affection for my mother, father, and daughter was very strong, as they were the most important people in my life. I was stuck in a situation where all three were having tribulations at the same time.

I let go of my attachment to my mother because I knew that Master takes care of her. I turned my father and daughter over to Master as well. After a while, my mother could cook breakfast for herself. She studied the Fa but did not do the exercises. I reminded her a few times, but it was no use. I wondered, “Is it because I do not do the exercises recently?” I said to my mother, “I want to do the exercises. Dafa is the cultivation of both mind and body. We cannot just cultivate our minds without doing the exercises. Our bodies need to be transformed. Not doing the exercises means we aren’t following Master’s teachings.” My mother agreed and said she would do the exercises.

After a few months in the ICU, my father passed away. Afterward, I noted that my mother had been very dependent on my father. She started to watch TV every day or thought about my father. I recited this passage of the Fa to her:

“Since one’s real life is one’s Original Soul, the one who gives birth to your Original Soul is your real mother. In the course of samsara, you have had mothers who were human and non-human, and there are too many of them to be numbered. It is also countless how many sons and daughters you have had throughout your different lifetimes. Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one recognizes one another after passing away. You must still pay for what you owe others. Human beings live in delusion and just cannot give up these things. Some people cannot let go of their sons and daughters and claim how good they are, and then they pass away. One may speak of how good one’s mother is, but then she also dies. This person grieves so much that he almost wants to follow her for the rest of his life. Why don’t you think about it? Aren’t they here to torment you? They use this form to make you unable to lead a good life.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

I told my mother that Father was waiting for her to be saved and that we should cultivate well. My mother awakened and improved by the day.

Many things have happened during the past year, and I now truly understand how to solidly cultivate. I did not write down all of my experiences, mostly the ones about my mother. While it seemed like I was caring of her, in reality, she was helping me improve so that I could get rid of impatience and my attachment to my cell phone. My mother liked to watch TV. I looked within and noted my attachment to my smart phone. I used to like delicious food. I now cook according to my mother’s tastes and don’t care much about what I eat as long as I am full. I also noted my attachment to lust, because I like new clothes, and found my attachment to comfort, as I feared being tired and troubled. I have realized that anything that occurs in my environment is not a coincidence and has happened to help me to improve.

I read the article “Hurry up! Our Cultivation Will Reach An End Any Moment” on Minghui.org. One paragraph read, “Recently, many practitioners felt that they were facing numerous obstacles in their cultivation and daily lives, and couldn’t figure out why. I believe that Master is giving them another opportunity—pushing them to advance in their levels and catch up with Fa rectification. If this is the case, we must work even harder, strengthen our will, and make sure we succeed in this final step.”

Our compassionate Master takes care of his disciples at all times so that they can improve.

I have cultivated in a closed environment with only my husband and daughter and have not met any other practitioners. I would like to join a group Fa-study and envy fellow practitioners who can study with a group. I know one can improve faster in that environment. Fellow practitioners in my extended family have not formed a group to study the Fa due to our own individual limitations.

I have downloaded articles from Minghui.org every day these years. I think this is probably the path that Master has arranged for me to take. I take Minghui cultivation sharing as my big group Fa-study.

I said to my mother-in-law that I downloaded articles for her to read as she did not have a chance to share with others, and reading these articles is helpful. She said that other people’s sharing reflects the principles they have realized and that we need to realize our own. I thought that what she said made sense but without a group environment of Fa-study, we might not notice our own shortcoming sometimes. We can read the sharing articles written by practitioners around the world. These articles are selected by Minghui editors and posted after editing. They are good articles, and some of them may resemble the situations we are facing. They can help us to reflect on our own shortcomings.

I have experienced this myself. I sometimes was in tears when I read other practitioners’ sharing articles, as I was touched by their righteous thoughts and actions. My mother-in-law has also started to read these articles every day.

My daughter has studied the Fa carefully these past two years. Although her grades are not very good, her teachers recognize her good character. During her training out-of-town, she faced many xinxing tests. I helped her to analyze them based on the Fa, and she was able to find her problems quickly. She asked me to bring her audio recordings of Master’s lectures, and she listened to the teachings every day and read the electronic version of the teachings when it was safe to do so.

Thank you, Master, for taking care of your disciples. Thank you, fellow practitioners, who work for Minghui. I also appreciate the practitioners all over the world who have submitted their sharing articles to post on Minghui. These articles accompany me on my cultivation path and help me to correct shortcomings, catch up, and fulfill my mission.

(Selected submission for the 22nd China Fa Conference on Minghui.org)