Letting Go of Resentment and Attachment to Self-Interest

(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa since 1997. One thing I’ve learned over the past 20 years is that it is crucial to have complete and rock solid faith in Master and Dafa, under all circumstances. This is the key to overcoming any obstacle or tribulation. To maintain strong righteous thoughts and do the right thing, we have to truly cultivate well and improve our character. I would like to share how my marriage and relationship with my husband benefited and improved tremendously as I cultivated.

Getting Rid of Resentment: My Husband Became Supportive of Dafa

My husband and I have been married more than 30 years. Before taking up Dafa cultivation, I was arrogant and looked down on him. I despised him for being incompetent, and for not being able to provide us with a more comfortable lifestyle. I didn’t try to hide my feelings, and often took my frustration out on my husband. I thought life was so unfair that I was stuck with him in this marriage.

However, my understanding changed after I started practicing Dafa. I no longer looked at things from an ordinary person’s perspective. Instead, I held myself to a higher standard that was based on the principles and requirements of the Fa. I learned that everything happens for a reason because of predestined relationships. With this newfound perspective, I was able to let go of minor inconveniences and took annoyances easily. I became kind and patient with my husband. As my attitude changed, my husband became more supportive of me in my cultivation.

When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Falun Dafa in 1999, practitioners could no longer get together to study the Fa or do the exercises. A few practitioners and I traveled to Beijing to petition the central government for our constitutional right to freedom of belief. We were arrested and detained at the Beijing Fengtai Stadium for two days before being brought back to our hometown. We were held for more than three months at a rehabilitation facility, followed by intense brainwashing sessions.

My husband was given time off from work to help the local authorities try to “transform” me and get me to renounce my belief. They threatened to suspend his employment if I continued to practice Falun Dafa. Knowing that Dafa is good, he didn’t succumb to the pressure, but respected and supported my choice. He didn’t even worry about his job. Not seeing the result they’d hoped for, his supervisor called him back to work after a few days.

When the police and community committee officials attempted to ransack my home one time, my husband blocked the doorway and threw shoes at them. He shouted, “What do you guys want?” The police and the committee officials quickly gave up and left. I later heard that the police were intimidated by my husband. They talked among themselves and decided not to go back and face him again.

Officers from the Domestic Security Division and Police Department’s First Division came looking for me in 2002. My husband and my sister wouldn’t let them take me away and tried to hold them off when the head of the First Division called for support. To avoid further escalating the situation and implicating my family, I decided to go with the police.

I asked Master for help and firmly denied any form of persecution. My husband called the mayor’s office after we left and the mayor’s secretary picked up. My husband told him, “Police officers from the First Division took my wife away. I heard that a Dafa practitioner was tortured to death not long ago by the First Division.”

The secretary promised that nothing would happen to me, saying, “You can examine your wife for wounds and injuries when she returns home. You have my word.” Because of that phone call, I was left alone at the police station, I was not interrogated or beaten, and I was released after three days.

Since then, I set up a Fa study group at my home. With Master’s protection, it’s been running smoothly. My husband cleans the home every morning before practitioners’ arrival for Fa study. If I’m not home, he welcomes and helps others practitioners with patience, and passes on materials or messages. Some practitioners commented that if my husband takes up Dafa cultivation, he may do even better than me.

Giving Up Attachment to Self-Interest and Saving My Marriage

After my husband retired a few years ago, I kept pushing him to find a side job instead of being idle at home. I told him most retirees work to at least make some pocket money and he should too. But no matter how hard I pushed, he wouldn’t take action to look for work. I was infuriated.

He told me last April, out of the blue, that one of his co-workers found a job for him that paid 100 yuan per day. I was delighted, “That sounds great! When do you start?” The first day he went to work, he brought home 100 yuan. The next day, he came home empty-handed and said his boss was going through a financial crisis and his pay was delayed by a few days. I didn’t think much of it.

Instead of making money, my husband soon started lending money to his boss. He not only didn’t bring a single penny home in the next three months, but took more than 30,000 yuan out of our savings to help out his boss. When I asked him where the money went, he wouldn’t tell me. I was furious. I have always taken monetary gain very seriously and completely forgot that I am a Dafa practitioner. Our argument escalated into a huge fight, which ended in the decision to divorce.

As our conflict raged, my various notions and attachments emerged. I felt wronged and resentful and couldn’t let it go. The tribulation seemed impassable. A few practitioners close to me tried to talk me out of getting a divorce, but I didn’t want to hear any of it. A practitioner visiting one day noticed that I wasn’t myself and asked what the matter was. I told her about my fight with my husband. She said, “You’ve fallen into the trap. Isn’t this an opportunity for you to let go of material things and get rid of your attachment to self-interest?”

Her words shook me, and my main consciousness became clear. “Am I falling into the old forces’ trap? Master is offering me things of the divine world; why am I holding on to these worldly things and not letting go? I don’t want anything, nor do I want to be attached to anything from the Three Realms. I’m only here temporarily and will eventually go back to my real home with Master.” I was able to let it all go at that instance.

Then it all came back to me: how supportive my husband had been of my Dafa practice all these years. Whenever I went out to distribute truth-clarification materials, he always reminded me to be careful. I told him one time, “You could ask Master to help keep me safe while I’m out.” He remembered this and always asked Master to protect me. With my husband being so supportive, I was able to help others. Whenever practitioners needed a place to go to or someone to talk to, they knew they could come to me. Although my husband has not taken up Dafa cultivation, he has been immersed in a cultivation environment for years.

I was able to completely let go of my resentment, attachment to self-interest, and many other notions. I extend my thanks to Master, who has done so much for me. I will cherish my cultivation environment and the limited time that remains, to cultivate more solidly and diligently. I will continue to improve and do the three things well, so as to reduce the workload for Master.