Cultivating Diligently and Getting Rid of Fear and Resentment

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. When I came to New Zealand in 2024, I felt the local practitioners were not strangers—they felt like my family members. I practice the exercises outdoors with local practitioners and distribute truth-clarification materials with them every day. Even though I’m sometimes tired, I feel happy and fulfilled every day. I’d like to share my recent cultivation experiences with you.

Getting Rid of My Fundamental Attachment

Even though I now live in Australia, I’m still afraid when I see policemen. One day I saw many people in the park and told my daughter, “After I finish the exercises, I want to ask your auntie to come with me and hand out flyers.” She said, “Why don’t you go by yourself? Isn’t it better to not rely on others?”

I couldn’t calm down when I practiced the exercises. Should I go to the park to give out flyers? If people reported me to the police, what should I do? I was afraid and didn’t want to go. But after I finished the exercises, my mind felt blank. My fear was gone. I picked up my bag and went to the park. I realized later on that Master removed the substance of fear from me when he saw I wanted to save sentient beings.

I gave out flyers on the way to the park, and I handed them all out. I had nothing to hand out on my way back. I regretted that I didn’t bring more with me. I told my daughter that I let go of my fear, and she encouraged me to cultivate diligently.

I suffered from otitis media when I was young. It was cured but my left eardrum was perforated and I was deaf. One year ago the symptoms returned. Pus came out of the ear. I didn’t take it to heart. On the flight to New Zealand my voice suddenly became hoarse. Other people could hardly hear me even though I spoke loudly.

About 6 months ago it felt like that there was hard stuff inside my left ear. I could barely hear. I wasn’t able to communicate with others. The doctor said that it might be cholesteatoma and could only be removed by surgery.

The second day after I came back from the park my left ear itched. I used an ear pick and surprisingly pulled out something about the size of a small fingernail. I could hear the exercise music even when the volume was low. Pus no longer came out of my right ear. I could clearly hear people speaking. A practitioner told me that my voice was louder.

Non-practitioners might not believe that cholesteatoma disappeared without surgery. I am a living proof. How wonderful and miraculous Falun Dafa is! My gratitude to Master is beyond words.

I realized that my fear caused my deafness and hoarse voice. When I let go of fear and improved my xinxing Master removed the bad substances from my body.

As I write this, I realized that fear was my fundamental attachment. I didn’t know what my fundamental attachment was when I just started practicing Falun Dafa. I was timid and introverted and I was afraid of making mistakes. I only gave out flyers to people who looked friendly. When I distributed flyers at night, I made sure that there was no one around before I put down the flyer. I took a detour if I saw a police car ahead of me. I thought that everyone looked like a Chinese Communist Party (CCP) spy. I didn’t validate the Fa in an open and dignified way. I had strong negative thoughts and I had difficulty eliminating them. I told myself that this was not a big issue as other practitioners also had fear although their fear was not as strong.

What was I afraid of? I was afraid of suffering loss and being harmed. Behind the fear was selfishness. The root cause of fear was selfishness. Selfishness is the characteristic of the old cosmos. Beings from the new cosmos are selfless. Master saw my righteous thoughts, removed the substance of fear for me, and let me see through it and get rid of it.

Resentment Disappears When I Change My Mentality

Before I began practicing I liked to read traditional stories and had traditional values. I believed that children should be respectful to their parents and listen to them unconditionally. I had this attitude towards my parents. I also demanded that my daughter follow the suit. My daughter always followed my instructions and never talked back when she was young. She patiently listened to her grandma’s endless talking and never felt bored.

But about two years ago, my daughter and I started arguing about trivial things. We each wanted the other one to listen. When she didn’t listen to me, I got angry and lost my temper. I thought I was the older generation and she should listen to me. I thought she deviated from traditional values. If she didn’t apologize to me, I wouldn’t speak to her. I gradually developed resentment. I even wanted to leave and not cook for her. This was obviously my competitiveness and resentment, a typical CCP culture mindset. I didn’t realize this at the time and was entangled in the everyday principle of who was right and who was wrong. I didn’t look at the issue with the Fa principles.

Before I left China I occasionally had pain in my right arm. Recently it became more and more painful, and I couldn’t do the exercises correctly. I realized this was an issue. I listened to a practitioner’s sharing one day. She mentioned that she had resentment. I looked within and found that I also had resentment.

I realized that my daughter and I had a predestined relationship. We are kings and lords who came down to the earth to assist Master in rectifying the Fa. Our real relationship is that we are fellow practitioners. We come to help each other improve and should cherish each other. I shouldn’t have resentment towards her. I was too attached to every day people’s principles and ancient etiquette. As practitioners we should measure things with the Fa.

As soon as I realized this, my notions faltered. I realized the seriousness of cultivation. I couldn’t bring with me any attachments. I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear out my resentment. The next morning I felt the pain in my arm dissipate. My daughter told me that she had a dream. She saw in her dream that a strong-built person was biting my right arm. I felt so painful that my forehead sweat but I stood there motionless and didn’t fight back. I realized that the resentment was a living being. The old forces utilized it to persecute practitioners and didn’t want me to cultivate. I must get rid of it completely.

When my daughter complained again, I reminded myself that this was for me to improve and I shouldn’t fall into the old forces’ traps. I just kept silent and took it lightly. She then realized that she should cultivate herself and give up her own notions. We no longer argue. We understand and harmonize each other.

Cultivate Diligently and Save More Sentient Beings

I go to the exercise site every day to practice the exercises and give out flyers. Sometimes I don’t want to go, thinking that I go there every day and many people have already taken our flyers, and that it’s a waste of time. Master arranges for people to encourage me. When I offered a Western lady a flyer she took one out of bag and showed me that she already had one. After a while she came back and said, “Thank you!” She nodded to me and left happily.

One young man took our flyer and bowed to me deeply. He said “Thank you” repeatedly. I was very touched. The knowing side of sentient beings are thanking me. Master is encouraging me. I meet predestined people as long as I come out to save sentient beings. This might be the only time some people might be in our area. If they miss it, they may not have another opportunity to come across Falun Dafa.

I could not speak English so I wasn’t able to talk to Westerners about Falun Dafa and the persecution. I started to learn English thanks to my daughter’s encouragement. It’s hard for me but I’m determined to learn English so I can save more sentient beings, fulfill my vows and be worthy of Master’s compassionate salvation.