Assimilating My Every Thought to Dafa
(Minghui.org) I recently left my cell phone in the office and had to go back for it. It was during rush-hour traffic, and it took me quite a while to drive to my workplace. When I was about to get out of the car, I realized that my cell phone and keys were in the same handbag.
I had to call someone to open the door for me, but I couldn’t remember any numbers because they were all stored on my phone. I wondered what my family and colleagues would say about this incident—probably they’d have a good laugh! I then realized that my thinking was not right for a Dafa practitioner.
Being Lured by a False Entity
Recently, I had started hearing messages from a small entity in my head. It told me how to use words to convince others that I was good, responsible, and innocent.
I realized that its goal was to protect my fame, personal gains, and sentimentality, things that I had been attached to recently. The messages appeared when I studied the Fa, did the exercises, or sent righteous thoughts. This entity pretended that it was helping me to awaken the conscience of sentient beings.
I decided I needed to do something to suppress and eliminate this strong sense of self-protection. When I recited the passage “Consecration” (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun), I realized that this being was alive, and the more I listened to its messages, the stronger it became. I couldn’t tolerate being criticized or hurt, and even became anxious and irrational.
Afterward, I felt weird, as my behavior wasn’t even on par with ordinary people, let alone the image of a Dafa practitioner. In fact, it was because of my strong sense of “self.” In tracing the source, I realized that I had many attachments that had been developed for self-protection.
I then suddenly thought of this line: “Dafa Disciples’ Righteous Thoughts are Powerful.” (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Confronting My Strong Attachment
I realized that it was not accidental that I forgot to bring my cell phone home. It must have something to do with my cultivation state.
So I started to pay attention to my feelings and realized that I was preoccupied with having my cell phone with me. I took it everywhere I went, as I felt safe when I had it and empty without it. Even when I went to bed, I usually had my cell phone nearby.
I studied the Fa with my cell phone next to me and checked it whenever I took a break. I usually set the alarm on my phone to send righteous thoughts in the morning. My daily routine was disrupted without my cell phone, and my heart would be out of balance.
I looked inward and discovered that I had developed a strong attachment to my phone. I have not watched TV for a long time and also uninstalled WeChat, so I believed that I had put an end to being influenced by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP's) propaganda. However, I didn’t expect that my phone was quietly controlling my thoughts, stealing a lot of precious time, and weakening my will to diligently cultivate.
I then consciously suppressed the little being in my brain, but it resisted and magnified those attachments that I had not eliminated. But I did not give up; I held onto this one thought: “This idea is not me, so I am not accepting it, I am denying it.”
Master Li said:
“The reason that you cannot achieve tranquility is that your mind is not empty and you have not reached that high a level, which can only be achieved step by step. It goes hand in hand with the level of your improvement.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I decided to strengthen the suppression of my attachment and not pass the time by looking at my phone. Instead, I would send righteous thoughts, study Master’s recent lectures, and only listen to music by Dafa practitioners.
Ignoring Master's Hints
After going through this process of looking inward, I recalled that during the past two decades, Master has given me many hints to improve. I encountered various troubles with my family, co-workers, and friends. But I only looked at the problems with ordinary common sense, rather than relating them to my cultivation. Thus, I enlarged and strengthened my human attachments. In fact, those were all to help me improve. As long as I look inward, I can improve based on the Fa.
I feel that our compassionate Master has been holding my hand and using my karmic debts to arrange for opportunities to cleanse me. He has borne many things for me.
I haven't done well in overcoming every tribulation during the past two decades, but this time I was relatively sober and thought of myself as a practitioner. Although it seemed like a minor thing, I felt I really improved. At the same time, I felt the simplicity of cultivation for the first time.
Whenever we get rid of our attachments, there is no energy to supply those little interfering beings that are made up of various forms of sentiment, so it is easy to suppress them. Reflecting on the surface, I feel that my heart is getting quieter and quieter and my consciousness is getting stronger and stronger. I am not easily moved by anything and diligently assimilate my every thought with Dafa.