Falun Dafa Blessed Our Family

(Minghui.org) My husband and I were born in the 1980s and we are the “only child” in our families. This year marks our tenth wedding anniversary. When we first started dating, our friends were surprised: I was traditional while he was avant-garde; I practiced Falun Dafa while he was an atheist; I dressed simply while he stood out. I had an easygoing nature, whereas he saw things in stark black-and-white terms. Looking back on these ten years, I realize that the true essence of happiness lies not in material possessions or superficial differences; rather, the most important thing is that, through the transformative influence of Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, I am truly considerate of others.

We dated for two months and before I took him home to meet my family, I said, “There is something I haven’t told you. I practice Falun Dafa; I began cultivating with my mother when I was eight years old. The principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance transformed me—I used to be prone to extremes and I was competitive. I’m now peaceful and kind. For years, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has slandered Dafa, persecuted its practitioners, staged the Tiananmen self-immolation incident, and incited public hatred against the Buddha Fa. I practice Falun Dafa. If you cannot accept this, then we should part ways.” He replied, “I often saw Falun Dafa practitioners raising awareness about the persecution while I was living abroad. Having spent so many years overseas, I clearly see the nature of the CCP’s political campaigns and its crimes. As long as the practice is good for you, I respect it.” And so, through the arrangement of fate, we came together.

I believed that because I practice Dafa, I would be able to consider his needs, take the initiative to do chores, and give more of myself—viewing household tasks and trivial daily matters as insignificant. Saying this was easy, but putting it into practice proved difficult.

“For Others” Is Not Just Words, It Is Letting Go of Self

My husband is very methodical about housework and holds me to high standards. I focused solely on my studies while I was growing up and I rarely did chores. I began to do housework after we married, yet I was constantly criticized, “Why didn’t you put that back where it belongs? Didn’t I tell you to rinse the sink clean after you wash the dishes? You never think of others—only yourself. You call this cultivation?” That last remark struck a nerve; I felt so aggrieved that I couldn’t stop crying. I thought, “My father looked down on you because you did not have a house or a car, yet I didn’t mind renting a place. I’ve contributed both money and effort, only to be berated like this.”

Master said, “...one should not fight back when being punched or insulted...” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) yet my cunning ego found a way to retaliate; the silent treatment. While I remained silent outwardly, a storm of resentment raged within me. I knew I wasn’t meeting the standards of a cultivator and I should look inward for my own faults, but at that moment, I was consumed by bitterness. That night, for the first time, we gave each other the silent treatment.

Unable to sleep, I reflected on Master’s teachings. It suddenly dawned on me, the challenge lay not in acting for the sake of others, but in first letting go of self (ego). Only by unconditionally looking inward and acting in accordance with the requirements of Dafa could I truly put others first. Doing housework merely taxes the body—it is superficial; true cultivation, however, tempers the heart and will—it is the essence. The selfishness, resentment, and defensiveness I developed since childhood had become second nature; I had to let go of them to be a genuine cultivator.

The next morning, with the knot in my heart untied, I quietly did the housework. My husband apologized, “I shouldn’t have complained. I’ll break my habit of blaming others.”

From then on, we rarely had conflicts over housework. I took the initiative to do more and do it better. My mother said, “You’ve really improved a lot in how you handle the chores.”

“For Others” Is An Act of Compassion

In recent years, even greater challenges have arisen. Following the COVID pandemic, the CCP launched successive crackdowns on several sectors in China, including the private tutoring industry. For years, the education system prioritized quick results over genuine learning, a trend fueled by the tutoring industry. Teachers were forced to act as salespeople and were evaluated based on sales figures, while students were reduced to “test-taking machines” incapable of critical thought, required to memorize and recite the standard political answers mandated by the CCP just to pass.

Disillusioned by the chaos in the tutoring sector—and facing a shrinking student base due to the regulatory crackdowns—my husband insisted on starting a new business with a friend. However, that friend swindled him out of his entire investment. Approaching the age of fifty, he found himself back at square one professionally, forced to pick up the artistic dreams he had long set aside. I couldn’t help but wonder, when would we see any income?

I felt I was acting “for his own good,” so I constantly offered suggestions: I told him to set aside the pride of an intellectual, get a corporate job, go back to teaching, or sell insurance. I was convinced that his stubborn nature—his inability to fit into society—was the reason for his current predicament; it never occurred to me that my own “need for control” was driving me to interfere with his life.

At work, I was a polished white-collar professional—I frequented upscale venues and rubbed shoulders with successful people. When I returned home, I faced a husband with no income and an uncertain future. Instead of raising a child, I was supporting a grown man; every month was a struggle to make ends meet. I wondered if we should just get a divorce. Surrounded daily by negativity, I found him increasingly irritating, and during company health check-ups, I discovered that my own physical health was steadily deteriorating.

One day while I studied the Fa I read what Master taught,

“Someone may say, “I’ll earn some more money to settle my family down well so I won’t have to worry about anything. Afterward, I’ll cultivate.” I would say that this is your wishful thinking. You are unable to interfere with the lives of others, and neither can you control others’ fates, including those of your wife, sons, daughters, parents, or brothers. Can you decide those things? Furthermore, how will you cultivate if you do not have any worries or troubles? How can you do the exercises comfortably and restfully? How can there be such a thing? That is what you think from the perspective of everyday people.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)

It suddenly occurred to me that my husband’s situation was not accidental; it was there to help me cultivate away my attachment to personal gain and the tendency to compare myself with others. He was already at rock bottom in life, striving to get back on his feet and figure out his next move. But I was undermining his confidence and complaining that he was a burden. Life has its own arrangements—how could I forget such a simple truth when faced with a real-life test? Wasn’t this a sign that I lacked faith in the Fa? To believe in Dafa means acting in accordance with Dafa, letting go of all worries, fears, and attachments to fame and gain, and measuring every one of my thoughts with Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.

A practitioner must cultivate a heart that is truly considerate of others. But what does it really mean to be considerate of others? My husband is a husband, yes, but first and foremost, he is a life—a being who needs to be seen, respected, and understood. I reminded myself that I was a practitioner. I let go of my anxiety and began to look at everything with righteous thoughts. Only when I set aside my attachments and I let go of labels like “success”, “identity”, and “status”, and I stopped comparing myself with others—did righteous thoughts emerge, allowing me to see my husband’s shining qualities. He hadn’t changed; I had. Dafa cleaned me, washing away the selfish, self-serving notions I acquired after birth and revealing the selfless, altruistic essence of my true self.

As I changed, my husband changed too. I stopped pressuring him or offering unsolicited advice, and instead helped put his mind at ease. He, in turn, moved past his confusion and defeatism, regaining the right mindset to tackle the challenges of his entrepreneurial venture. Although there was no income for the time being, seeing him fully immersed in pursuing his artistic dreams—acting just like a child—made me truly happy for him. This has been a process of self-improvement for both of us. I said to him with heartfelt emotion, “We are very fortunate; we have plenty to eat. The purpose of life is to cultivate the heart—to learn to let go of the self and truly care for others. When we look back on these years, we’ll see them as a time of immense growth.” My husband replied, “Seeing you constantly look inward over the years influenced me, too. I gradually let go of the complaining and hostility I’d developed since childhood. I’ve become gentler and more considerate of others. Thank you.” I said, “Thank you, too. It was Dafa that changed me; otherwise, we might have parted ways long ago.”

Master said, “...with one person practicing, the whole family benefits...” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia) This year marks our tenth wedding anniversary; our family has enjoyed a smooth journey, thanks to the blessings of Dafa.

Living for oneself makes life a struggle filled with suffering, whereas living for others imbues life with vitality and happiness. We are deeply grateful to Master for introducing Falun Dafa—a practice that purifies countless hearts, restores happiness to countless families, and—with boundless compassion—saves practitioners and touches the hearts of people everywhere, bearing witness to the greatness and perfect harmony of Dafa.

Thank you, Master, for saving us and for giving us a new life!